What A Childhood Can Do
by insignificant015
Summary: Emeralda Thompson and The Joker.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

I guess you could say it was one of those days. I just got back from Paris, where I was going to college for four years now, training to be a psychologist. My college buddy, Amanda, was going back to her hometown to get married. In Gotham City. Kind of why I was here in the first place. And I was a bride's maid and I practically had to come.

Plus she was madly in love with her fiancé Sean, who in my opinion was nothing special. I hardly ever grew feelings towards anyone. I'm not sure why either. All throughout high school, boyfriends would come and go in a matter of weeks. I dragged one romance on for too long, he asked me to marry him. And I said no. Bad enough I was just starting college with him. That's why I went to Paris, in the study abroad program.

Anyways, now I'm just rambling. There was Amanda, after the wedding ceremony, crying her eyes out. She was my opposite. Tall, blonde, small chested. And blue eyes. I was short, brunette, with hazel eyes. Where was the maid of honor anyways? She should be in here comforting her. She was crying, her make-up badly smudged now. I handed her some tissues.

"What's wrong Amanda? This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life?" I had asked. She sniffled, blowing her nose into the tissue I handed her. "I-I don't k-know. Emma, did I make a mistake?" I patted her back. Sure Sean was a huge flirt back in college, but people change. Especially for love. "What? No Amanda. Sean loves you so much. You made the perfect decision." I tried to comfort her. She looked in the mirror. And cried more. I pulled out my purse, time to get to work.

At least when I was finished you couldn't tell she had been balling her eyes out. Maybe just crying tears of joy. But now it was time for the after party. Dinner was being served already, and I could easily tell they had already served my table. I was so hungry. Amanda hurried over to her table, and sat with Sean. She smiled over at me. I picked up my champagne glass, and tapped the side of it. People joined in and smiled as the newlyweds kissed.

It really was a wonderful wedding. Although the actually ceremony was quite small, the reception room was huge. Like a ballroom and was up about 6 stories high, overlooking the city and the river.  
>Nothing could ruin this perfect evening.<p>

The bride and groom walked down the hall and excitedly left the room. Can somebody say storage closet? Music softly played while people danced. I didn't even think of dancing in this dress. It was a short petite black dress. That came down just above the knees. This is what all of the bridesmaids were wearing. And almost everyone had a date. I walked over to the bar and signaled for more champagne. This was going to be a very long three hours.

I leaned softly against an abandoned table, sipping delicately at my drink. The buzz in my head made me fell dizzy. I never was much of a drinker. It left you with headaches, bad breath, and a loss of memory. Not a good combination. But this time it felt good. It drowned out all the couples dancing. So I didn't feel so alone. This evening might not be too bad after all. And then a slow dance came on. And everyone piled into the middle of room, hooking hands with lovers, and dancing.

I chugged a little more. The dizziness is getting stronger now. I saw some man walking over to me. He was quite handsome, in a corny kind of way. I laughed as he came near. He gave me a confused smile and then asked, "May I have this dance, madam." No one has ever called me madam before. But I shook my head, laughing and headed over to the bar again.

And the moment I reached the table, my stomach dropped. Ewe. I felt like getting sick. Instead I just set my glass down. "More champagne?" the bar tender asked. "No, I think I'm going to be sick," I replied. "Some ginger ale then?" I nodded my head. That should calm my stomach some. I was handed a new glass and sipped easily, walking over to another abandoned table.

Slow music still played. The atmosphere did not change one bit. Love was in the air. And it was making me choke. I was never the romantic type. I preferred straight out feelings. Not fancy parties or cutesy music. No, throw on a heavy rock song and scream "I love you!" I could deal with that. But the music played on. People swayed, making me dizzy. I turned away from them, and instead looked out at the view. It was truly amazing. Although the river was hard to see, it was a ways off, but I could see it glisten in the moonlight. I felt mesmerized by it. At first it was all I saw. And I heard nothing. And then the music was cut off. Followed by a loud, insanely hysteric laugh.

"Good evening," said a voice. I tuned to face it. Wow. Was this the evening's entertainment? A man was dressed in a velvety purple suit, with a green waistcoat underneath. His hair was green and wiry. And he had a face full of chalk-white make-up. His lips red, continuing up the sides of his face, making a huge red smile. He had a black color drawn around his eyes. And he looked unfriendly.

Then screams started throughout the room. I was confused. What is going on here? He walked about the room. Smiling as he stared down each and every person in the room. I saw lovers clutching each other. Women crying, men terrified. Something felt so wrong here. And then he was facing my direction, but not exactly looking at me. He was walking in this direction though. And I could see his scars the closer he got.

They looked familiar. Those scars looked so familiar.

And yet he didn't. He laughed loudly, pulling out a handgun. "Ladies and Gents, I'm sorry to wreck this joint, but I need a little favor." He shot the gun at the ceiling. Plaster fell around him. Everyone was silent now, but fear was in their eyes. I felt the fear too. And then I remembered what Amanda had told me before the wedding. When we were watching the news about 5 dead bodies at the bank. There was a serial killer. Nicknamed the Joker. And this was him. It had to be.

"I need to find a… Amanda Dully? Oh wait, Amanda Smith. My apologies." He laughed harder now. Looking about the room. His gaze at once narrowed on me, but he continued to circle the room. No one answered. "She has something I want." And everyone kept quiet. A few squeals of terror every now and then. "No one's going to talk?" he asked, his smile now fading. He raised the gun to a woman's head. She screamed out in terror and I seen a man walking towards her. "Don't move," he addressed the man, "Or you won't be able to recognize this face ever again." He laughed hysterically. He looked down at the woman.

"So where is she?" he asked. She shook her head, "I-I don't know. They left." He started laughing again. "They left their own wedding? I think not." And then a deafening sound fell throughout the room. The woman dropped dead. A pool of blood forming around her. I couldn't look away from it. This really had happened. "Okay then, just tell me where Emeralda Thompson is." He laughed heading to his next victim.

I froze. That was my name. What did he want with me? I had no idea. But he was at another woman already. "Where is she!" He screamed. The girl shook her head confusingly, I had no idea who she was, and she didn't know me. "I don't know her." She pleaded. He laughed in her face, " Wrong again." And then another gun shot. Another dead body.

"Emma, where are you?" he asked, scoping the room. "If you don't come out, he gets it." He held up his gun against another man's head. He clicked the gun, it was loaded. I froze, what did this maniac want with me. I couldn't. "5." he was counting down. I debated the situation. I didn't know him! "….4…3"  
>I had to step out; I couldn't watch another person die. "2...1"<p>

"STOP!" I screamed. His eyes were on me. He walked over to me, licking his lips, and put his gun to his side. "Emma? Is that you?" He asked laughing. I nodded my head, slowly. He laughed again. "Well you have grown." He said, while looking me up and down. I could feel the champagne disagreeing with me now. He was in front of me. His gun came up, touching my forehead. I was scared breathless. I didn't dare breathe. He smiled an evil smile. And then the gun struck across my head, making me fall to the ground. Everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

I did eventually wake up. In an unfamiliar bed at that. The room was painted a solid dull grey. The bed was dressed with grey sheets, black blankets, and black pillows. Everything looked like a black and white movie. Even I was still in my little black dress. Except for one thing. A bright rose. Sitting in a black vase resting on a table across from the bed. Okay, I was confused. This wasn't the hotel I was staying at for Amanda's wedding. Which was yesterday. Everything started to piece back together.

Then I thought of this ugly nightmare I had. Except I have this really tender spot above my left eye. I was really losing it. Up until I heard a familiar laugh. It echoed through the room. And no one was there. But he was still laughing. And it did sound so familiar. Only the laugh I remembered was much higher pitched. And much younger. And then he entered through a door that blended into the wall so well, I hadn't seen it there before. His eyes were on me. And me only. He sat down at the end of the bed. Still smiling.

"You see, Emma, I thought I'd never see you again. That day you moved." Somehow this struck a nerve. And I remembered something. "But guess what? I found ya!" His laughter started up again. "Can't you just feel the connection?" He laughed harder. I felt tears well up behind my eyes. But I refused to cry. I shook my head viciously. "I don't know you! You, freak!" I screamed. "Why thank you, I am." He said. "You'll remember Emma. Believe me!" He got up and left the room. I wasn't sure when he was coming back. And I wasn't so sure about what he was talking about either.

And then a memory flared up. And the things he said began to make sense. I remember, when I was about 4, moving into this run-down apartment with my parents and my sister Ally. My parents both worked night shift, but my sister was 10 then. And she babysat me. Each night we'd hear screams and crying. And each night a man was at our door. 'Don't tell your parents anything, or you're next.' He'd always say that. And Ally and me were always too scared to tell our parents of the screams.

And one day, I went next door, after the man had left. I think by now I was 6. And I entered the apartment. And I wished I hadn't. There was this young boy, I'm guessing around my sister's age then. I saw him on the floor. He was laughing, with two huge cuts along the side of his mouth. A dead hamster lay in front of him. He had a knife in his hands. I just sat there, and cried, while he laughed. I didn't know what death was then. But I had seen her. A woman, who must've been his mother, bloody on the floor. He didn't once stop laughing. I didn't once stop crying. And then Ally had dragged me home. And that night we heard a gun shot.

The little boy shot his father. And that's when our parents decided it was time to move. No wonder why I repressed these memories. They were so terrifying. And now I was kidnapped. By the same little boy I tried to comfort. He was insane, obviously, and I didn't want to stick around. I looked around, trying to find another escape route besides the door. There was a window. I reached for it, only to be found stuck. My hands were tied together, and connected to the bed. I couldn't go anywhere.

And he did come back into the room, something black in his hands. He was silently laughing to himself. Something was terribly wrong with him. He put the mystery object on the table across from me, I now recognized it to be a video recorder. He clicked a few buttons, then started laughing. "Oh boy do I have a night for my fans." He started laughing. "I can already hear them cheering." I just stared a little confused. And then he looked over at me. "Speak your name sweetheart." Such a wonderful word coming off foul lips. I remained silent. "I'm sorry I didn't catch that?" He sounded a little more serious this time. I shook my head. I heard him sigh.

He had something else in his hand. And he threw it at me. It landed on my chest, luckily there was a blanket between us. I screamed when I realized it was a dead rat. And flung it from me. I heard him squeal with laughter, clapping his hands together. "What's your name?" I looked at him, terrified. "Emma…" I managed to mumble. He started laughing, making his way over to me and sitting once again on the bed. "You remember don't you?" He laughed, he could tell I remembered who he was. He saw it through my eyes. "Don't you just feel our connection?" he asked yet again. I shook my head angrily at him. "Leave me alone!" I screamed.

And there was a knife. It cut at the ropes that tied my hands together. Then he grabbed my hand, resting it on the bed. The knife hovering over our hands. It first pierced though his hand, which went through my hand. Both of our hands stuck to the bed by a knife. I screamed out in pain, tears now flowing from my eyes. And he was laughing, enjoying every bit of it. "I sure feel it!' He slowly took the knife out of our hands, blood oozing onto the blanket. He got up and looked at me. "You're just so fun!" And then the knife came down again, back through the same hole in my hand. The pain was just so intense, I felt myself blacking out again. But before I could, he held out a bandage. "Clean yourself up. You're bleeding everywhere!" He screamed, throwing the bandage onto the bed.

The worst part was having to pull the knife back out of my hand. I was too afraid of doing it quickly, even though it probably would've hurt less. So I was forced to pull it out slowly. Screaming in pain during every second of it. Then I slowly wrapped my hand with the bandage. Wincing each time it went over the wound. I thought he was gone. But he returned after a few minutes. With a new knife. And then he was on the bed, hovering over me. In sudden instinct, I kicked, kneeing him in the stomach and making him topple over. He only laughed though. And his gaze was suddenly evil. His hand clutched my face, I could've sworn he was going to break my jaw.

The knife rested against my cheek. The waterworks beginning.

He smiled with enjoyment, then raised the knife. My eyes closed. I thought I was going to die now. And I heard him laugh. I heard something cut though. And then noticed him holding some of my hair. "I liked your hair better short!" He screamed. He was still hovering over me. This time my hand landed on his face, trying to push him away. But his hands pinned my wrist down on either side of my head. He leaned down really close. I was hoping to god he wouldn't kiss me. It really looked like he would. But instead, he spit on me. Directly on my forehead. My face wrinkling with disgust. He laughed, jumping off of me. He picked the bloody knife from before off of the floor. Nodding his head at something. Everything was quiet.

"Let me go!" I screamed, breaking the silence. He turned around, unsmiling. He closed his eyes. Thinking of something. And then a smile returned. "Tempting, but no." He laughed. I kicked him again, wanting to stay as far from him as I could. But unluckily I missed. His smile was gone, and he clutched my face. Too hard. He brought the knife to my forehead. First a sharp pain which quickly turned into raging pain. Tears were flowing and I felt him writing on my forehead. He was laughing all the while. Then he brought the knife away.

"That looks terrific!" He screamed. "Would you like to see it?" I shook my head. I didn't want to. But he held the knife at a certain angle, making the word Emma appear on my forehead backwards. He laughed again. His hand reached behind my neck, pulling me up towards him. I did all I could, used all the strength I had to push him away from me, but I failed. He was too strong. And the next minute, his disgusting lips pressed against mine. I struggled for freedom, when someone was knocking at the door.

"WHAT!" He screamed. A voice from behind the door replied, "We have a problem." He turned his face around to me. And I felt his hand collide with my face, I knew a bruise would be forming. "I don't kiss on the first day whore!" And then he lowered his face again, and licked my forehead. I winced at the thought of him enjoying the taste of my blood. He chuckled and got up from the bed.

He reached the door. And pulled out a gun. "If she gets off the bed, shoot her." He laughed and went through the door. But turned back, before it shut. "Don't kill her. I'm not finished with her yet." I started crying again and he saw this. His smile grew bigger and he laughed pulling the door shut. I could hear him laugh for a while. Until finally he was gone. My eyes hooked with the other guy in the room. He was big. And had tattoos along his arms. He had long hair, which was pulled back onto a braid. He looked at me. I felt disgusted. The look of lust in his eyes. I wrapped myself tightly within the blanket, wincing each time I had to move my right hand. I cried, tasting the salty tears and blood in my mouth.

I heard gun shots, in the background. In psychology class, I learned to block everything I didn't want to hear, see, or feel. And that's how I laid. My eyes open and unfocused on anything. I tried not to hear what I did. Shooting outside of the apartment. But my ears just wouldn't reject these sounds. I think then I fell asleep.

Because when I did refocus on my surroundings, the guy was gone from the door. And a purple jacket laid on the bed, by my feet. I heard footsteps and immediately closed my eyes. I didn't want the Joker to think I was awake. I could hear him walking around. I wasn't sure what he was doing. And then I felt something on the side of the bed behind me. I wasn't sure what was happening until…..

The mattress was being flipped and I was flung from the bed to the ground, busting my lip open, another fierce headache forming again. I heard laughing from behind me. "You sleep too much. That's no fun." I felt a lot of pressure on my leg, and then I yelled in pain. He was stepping on me. I looked up at him, he loved the fear in my eyes. "Emma, you don't look too happy. Anyone with me, is going to be happy."

He bent over, pulling me up by my arms. I was too weak now to do a thing. I just stood limp in his arms. And then I was in the air, being flung over his shoulder. He was carrying me somewhere. I heard the door open. I saw a trail of blood behind him from me. He walked out the door and turned, bashing my head into the door frame. Oops," he giggled. He kept walking. I felt like I could get sick. "Put me down," I whined. "Your wish is my command," he said. Flinging me from his shoulder and onto the ground. And then he grabbed my ankle, continuing to drag me into another room. Everything was getting fuzzy. Black and fuzzy. And numb. Finally I blacked out once again. But not before I realized I was inside a bathroom.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

I woke up to water on my face. Just sprinkling. It was freezing though. And it felt like rain. I finally adjusted my eyes, only to see I was laying in a bathtub. My limbs helplessly hanging in or out of it. My back ached so much , along with my head. That's when I remembered being dragged into the bathroom. He must've dumped me into the shower. But the water felt particularly cold all over. To my horror, I saw my little black dress was gone. I glanced around, I was still in my underwear and bra, thank god. I tried searching for a towel, or some clothes. And nothing. I could only imagine how hideous I looked. Bruised, beaten, and smudged make-up. I let my head fall to the tub again. Closing my eyes. I wanted the tears to come, but they wouldn't. I wanted to feel something other than my achy body. And then hands were pulling me out of the tub by my hair. Anything but that. Horror struck through me as I realized once again, none of this was a dream.

"Wakey, wakey." said that horrific voice. I was on the floor now. He was standing above me, his legs straddling me. "Thought you may need a shower." He laughed, and stepped on my sore hand as he left the bathroom. I slowly pulled myself up, resting my back against the tub. When he came back in he dropped clothes in front of me. The Joker used my hair to yank back my head, forcing me to look at him. Then he yanked my hair really hard, and I heard a rip. He pulled out a fistful of my hair. "Still working on your haircut!" He laughed hysterically while dropping my hair onto me. Then he kicked my side, I swore I felt a rib break. I clutched my side and let out a small whimper. He giggled and left, shutting the door.

I took this time to get dressed. And to look for an escape route. There was a window. But it was too small. Way too small. Even my hips wouldn't fit through that. I sighed, opening the door. I looked around and the hallway was empty. I took this time to run for it. Which I did. Down the hall. When I made it to the other side. Uh wait. I didn't know which door to go through. I didn't hear the footsteps until my face met the door. A hand was on the back of my head, clutching my hair.

"Hmm wrong way, we're going this way." He grabbed my sore hand, squeezing it tight, so I whined with pain. "Please, let me go. I don't want to be here." "Okay." He chuckled. I couldn't help but seem a little confused. "We're leaving anyways." All my hope dropped. How stupid of me to even think twice that he might let me go. He continued to drag me through the hallway, leading to stares. I noticed his purple glove was leaking blood. The pain in my hand led me to know it was my hand that was bleeding. I tried not to focus on the pain. Instead I looked down at what I was wearing. Black sweat pants, and a black hoodie. So bland. I was actually hoping the clothes would be more colorful. Then I felt my foot slip, and his hand release. I went falling down, hitting my chin hard on a step and continued to roll down. I heard the Joker. Laughing. "That's a good way to get down faster!" I winced at the pain. My chin hurt the most. I could feel it bleeding.

It definitely would need stitches. But the Joker reached down, and dragged me by my hair. Forcing me to get on my feet and walk. I spit out blood on the concrete floor. I hated the way it tasted. My stomach was in knots. Then we were in what looked to be a garage. "Damn it!" He screamed, throwing me across the ground. "They should be ready!" He looked over at me, a smile fitting his lips.  
>"Did I ever tell you how fun you are?"<p>

I spit up more blood onto the ground, only to hear him laugh. "Why are you doing this to me?" He laughed and came over to where I was laying. He bent down so I was face to face with him. My stomach churning at the sight of him. "Because you're everything I am not." He laughed yet again. Sending a deathly shiver throughout my body. He seen me tremble and only laughed harder. I was sitting now. My knees up to my chest. So I could hold myself together. "All I ever did was try to help you." I began crying. He started laughing, "Oh boo hoo! You want to cry? I'll make you cry!" He lifted his hand and at full force hit me. The force caused me to fall backwards. I rolled onto my side now, crying even harder. "I see this as tears of joy. You've never been happier in your life to see me!" He laughed, finally standing up. A door was opening now. And in came a black van. The driver popped out of his seat. He looked down at me then back at the Joker.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be late." And without a second thought, a gunshot. The guy fell to the ground, his body inches from mine. I screamed, and jumped up. Feeling a little dizzy doing so, I began to fall. My arms flung out aimlessly, trying to grab whatever I could. I grabbed something. To my horror it was the Joker's arm. He smiled. Grabbing my arm and lifting me up. His hand grabbed my hair then, leading me to the van. He opened the back doors, and threw me in. All I could think was where were we headed. I seemed to then catch the presence of three others. All dressed in black, wearing clown masks. Staring back at me. And then the van started moving at full force. I clutched onto something, I think was a pole to hang on.

I heard his laughter, as he whizzed through the streets. The slightest bump made my body jump in pain. I fought back the urge to scream. Oh how I wanted to. It was quite scary. Surrounded by more clowns, in complete darkness. I tried my hardest not to touch any of them. Tried my hardest to stay in my seat. But I watched the city fly by. Trying to picture this as just my imagination. The van seemed to be slowing. I wasn't sure why. I didn't know where we were headed. But then it came to a stop. The other guys jumping out one at a time. I remained seated. I heard the Joker talking to them. "Let me have the fun and then you do what you please." Then his eyes went to me. I stayed huddled in the corner of the van, clutching onto the seat.

"Oh Emma. Come out here." I didn't say a word, hoping that maybe I would just disappear. Or he'd go on without me. But how could I think such? He only crawled into the van, and grabbed my ankle. I held on tightly to the seat, hoping he couldn't pull me out. But then in one yank, I was flat on my back, laying in the road. "Ha-ha. You see how much fun you and I are? I bet people would pay to see this!" His laughed seemed to echo through my head. And then he grabbed my arm, pulling me to my feet. I then recognized it was a bank we were entering. His little clown friends entered first, followed by him. He shot at the ceiling, his laughter echoing throughout the whole bank.

"Don't a single soul move. Consequences will be dire." He laughed dragging me along with him. He went up to one of the bankers. "Well how are you beautiful?" He asked the banker. She was shaking so hard. Her hands already running over the computer screen. "How much?" She asked. He laughed, "What? For her?" I cringed, he was talking about me. "I got her for free. Actually, now that I think about it. She came right to me." He laughed harder. The banker was now in tears. Shaking her head, like she didn't know what to do. I then felt being yanked back, a man stepping in front of me. I saw him tap the Joker's back, who turned around. A fist on the Joker's right eye. He laughed again.

"So someone's going to try and be the hero? Doesn't anybody learn? Heroes are nothing more than a person who fights back." He pushed the man back, he went tumbling onto the floor. "Oh Allen!" A woman cry, crawling over to her husband. The Joker smirked. "Too bad you had to bring your wife into this. She looks good when she's frightened." He lifted the gun, pointing it at her. She began screaming for her life. I couldn't take it. "Stop!" He looked over at me. The gun still aimed at the woman. "Don't hurt her, please." She smiled over at me. "Okay, then you shoot her." He handed me the gun, forcing it into my hands. I froze. My head started shaking. There was no way I could. "Shoot her, or I'll shoot you." The feeling of a gun to your head is indescribable. No one should feel this way. I held the gun in front of me. The woman begging for her life. Now her eyes connected with mine. "I can't….." I barely whispered. "You can! It's so easy, just pull and.. BANG!" I started crying. "I can't I can't!" I dropped the gun, watching it land to the floor.

Then I heard a gun shot. And intense pain in my right leg. I looked down to see blood oozing from my leg. My body crashed to the floor. "Then I'll just kill you both!" Two gunshots filled the bank. I watched as two more people lie dead in front of me. The gun shots still echoing through my ears. He laughed. And I noticed a huge bag of money, laying next to him. He picked up the bag, then grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me towards the main door. "Okay, boys. Do as you please." He laughed while a chain of gunshots filled the air behind us.

I was thrown back into the van. My leg hitting hard against the wall. The gun shot wound felt on fire. I couldn't stop crying. I felt like everything I knew was shattered. I was in college, doing so well. I had great grades, and great friends. Depending on how long I've been here with the Joker, they might not even know I'm gone yet. They probably think I'm still out having a blast with Amanda. Oh poor Amanda. I thought about her mostly, she's been my best friend throughout college. No one could ask for a better friend. I ruined her wedding. It was my fault. I ached to see my mother and Ally. And Daddy. All of which I haven't seen since Christmas, about 5 months ago. I wanted to see them one last time. I cried viciously. Hysterically. While we drove recklessly back to the hideout. Some of the others were whispering about me. I knew it. But the whole time I could only concentrate the Joker. Watching him drive recklessly though the city. It was a wonder why the cops weren't chasing us. But soon. The car stopped. I didn't even notice until I seen the others leaving. I watched as they took off their masks, revealing their hideous faces. And high-fiveing each other.

I was thrown from the van. And dragged. By my hair of course. The Joker laughing the whole way upstairs as I banged my knees and shins against the steps. We must've gone up three flights before we went through a door. And walked down a hall way. The Joker opened a door, revealing the same dull grey room. He pushed me aside. Returning with a bandage. He looked at my helpless form and smiled. His hand lifting up my sweat pants. I cringed at his touch. He found the bullet wound. He slowly eased two fingers into the wound. I screamed in pain. My hand clutching the Joker's arm. He laughed of course, and next I saw him pull out the bullet. "Ouch. Did that hurt?" He asked, while laughing wildly. I cried. Which only fed him more. He then wrapped my leg, to stop the bleeding. But not because he cared. I don't even think the Joker knew the meaning of that word. No but because he didn't want me to bleed to death. He wanted me to suffer.

When he was done though. He brought a needle out of his jacket pocket. I froze in horror. I absolutely hated needles. His smile seemed to grow as he watched me squirm. But he had a good hold on me. "This is because I'd like you to shut up for a while." What? I freaked out. Viciously throwing my arms at him. But he seemed to dodge my every attempt to hurt him. "I promise, you won't feel a thing." He held my hands down with one of his. He stuck the needle up to my neck. "Any last words?" He smiled evilly. "Why? Why are you doing this to me?" I screamed. He laughed. "Well you see, Emma. You and I are alike." I laughed a little myself. "You are so wrong!" He laughed. "I'm serious. Have you ever felt like there was no one out there for you?" He asked me. "Don't lie. I hate liars." "You and me both," I replied. He looked at me. A harsh ravenous look in his eyes.

"Have you?" He asked again. I narrowed my eyes at him. I have, but I didn't say a word. "Tah dah!" He screamed. Plunging the needle into my neck. I thought 'This is my death.' But it felt too peaceful to be dying in the arms of the Joker.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

This time I woke up. And remembered everything. There wasn't an ounce in me that believed this was just a horrible nightmare. It was reality. It was my life. And it was all too real. Somehow I wished I didn't wake up. I wished I had been drugged and it had killed me. Then at least this fear I felt would be gone. But it wasn't. I'm just not lucky enough. So of course when I woke, I expected to be thrown across the room. Or at least hear that cackling laughter. But neither happened. This time, I woke up on my own. But to say the least, I was worried. There was something on my stomach, it was heavy too. Or at least it seemed heavy to me. And it was moving. I was frightened to look down. Then I heard a whimper. My eyes looked down and to my surprise I saw… a puppy. A dachshund. It was so small. I was surprised to see it alive. As if it were a reaction, I caught the puppy in between my hands, and tucked it under the blankets. He was making sounds and I was afraid the Joker might hear him. Or her?

No it was a Him. This puppy was not safe. Not at all. And I wondered why it was here in the first place. The poor thing could barely keep balance. And he kept whining. But my heart was for once filled with awe. The puppy made me feel like there was hope. Maybe there was hope for everyone. I held the puppy close, stroking his little back. And I kept remembering that horrible night so many years ago. The same night I sat there with the Joker. Crying. I didn't exactly no what all was going on around me. Except I knew that it wasn't good. Blood was never good. And I kept thinking, even as a little child, this boy was dead. Even though I could easily see he was alive and breathing. I thought he was dead. That's why I've never thought of him since them. And now, he's turned into something else. The thought of that little boy almost brought sympathy towards the Joker. Almost. And then I laughed to myself at the thought. Although I did wonder what had happened to him. Why he's so insane. Well, not so much insane. I know insane. I've been studying it for years. The Joker was smarter than that. Somewhere between sane and insane maybe? Well now I'm just confusing myself.

That's when I did notice someone at the doorway. But it wasn't the Joker. No, it was that same guy who had watched me the first day I came. He was waiting and watching. Probably babysitting me yet again. But then he came close. A little too close for comfort. He pulled a knife from his pocket. Smiling, while watching my horrific figure. "Don't move and I won't have to hurt you," he said. This had confused me, for I sat up. Gazing at him intensely. I slowly moved the puppy onto the floor and watched as he wondered beneath the bed. The guy had noticed him but paid no attention. His eyes set on me. That's when I realized what was happening. "No! Get away!" I screamed. "Be quiet! Or I'll kill your little dog too." I froze. Somehow, this little doggy meant a lot. By all means I wanted him to stay safe. Because this little dog didn't know any better. He needed someone.

He made his way to the bed. I could feel the tears coming now. I had no strength. A ten pound puppy felt so heavy against my stomach. I realized I hadn't eaten in days. My strength was gone. I hardly could maneuver my body to sit up. By now though, this freak was on the bed. Hovering over me. I couldn't help but feel sick inside. I mean wouldn't you? He was clawing at my hoodie, using the knife to tear at it. But he was taking to long. "Damn it! I said shut up!" That's when I realized I was making noises. I was crying so hard. And I realized I was saying stop it. I didn't notice it though. I was too gone to realize anything. Like I didn't realize I heard the gunshot. And it took me a moment to recognize the blood spattered about my face, arms, and clothes. Then he dropped onto me. At first I could've sworn this guy pulled out a gun from no where. And shot me anyways. But then he fell on me. He was entirely too heavy, I almost couldn't breathe. And then the weight was lifted from me. And I seen the Joker standing next to the bed. A gun in his hand. He look disgusted. "You whore!" He screamed, smacking me with his hand. "And to think I had a surprise for you!" That's when I remembered the puppy. "The puppy?" I barely mumbled. A smile spread across his face. "No that was suppose to be lunch. I mean the surprise downstairs." He laughed and yanked me from the bed. I barely made out the puppy's tiny figure, wondering in the corner of the room.

Then we were out of the room. And he was dragging me down the hallway. We got to the staircase again. My heart froze a little. I didn't want to go. I was hesitant. And I could feel myself getting dizzy. And falling. A push from behind made me fall. But I snatched the hand rail, in time to catch myself before I fell. I heard him laugh, and watched as he passed me, grabbing my still sore hand and led me downstairs. "You are going to love this surprise! I can tell." He screeched with laughter, almost running downstairs now, while practically dragging me downstairs. Then we made it to the familiar steel door that led to the huge empty garage. He opened the door and pulled me inside. It was dark. I heard him laughing. I could faintly make out two figures, sitting in chairs. And I heard a click and the lights came on. Once my eyes adjusted, I could see the two figures were tied. And I recognized them both right away.

It was Amanda. And Sean. They were bloody, and still in there wedding clothes. Which made me realize the Joker must've captured them at there wedding after all. The sight of them was terrible. Like straight out of a horror movie, only worse. This was real. Amanda was crying. And I wasn't sure if Sean was awake or unconscious. They were both tied up and their mouths taped shut. I cried instantly when I saw her. And ran for her. I couldn't bring myself to believe it was actually her. I hugged her. She was crying and I slowly yanked the tape from her mouth. "Emma! Oh Emma…" but she couldn't say anything else. Her speech was gone from her crying. "I am so sorry Amanda. I'm so sorry." "No, Emma. I'm sorry. I never knew this would…" I could only hold her. "I love you Amanda! So much." She nodded her head and cried some more. But I could see everything in her eyes. I almost saw my own reflection in them. She stared at me like I was the walking dead. Then I heard laughing behind me. "I just hate breaking up perfect moments!" He laughed, clapping his hands. "But this is really making me sick." I almost truly forgot he was here. Almost.

"Don't you love me Emma? I know how to make you happy." He said this while raising a gun. I cried hysterically. "No, don't please. Don't kill them." He was laughing though. "Why? Do you want to." I caught his gaze. Pure evil. He was looking at me. And I tried to hold back the tears. But they wouldn't stop coming. I had to look away, this was only making him happier. "Fine, I'll give you a choice." Oh no. Not this again. "Kill Sean for me and I'll let Amanda go." He handed the gun to me. And I took it. Only to have the weapon in my hand. I wasn't going to kill Sean. I couldn't. If there was still a sane part of me, it was the part that would never be like the Joker. "You're such a liar." I said. Staring at the gun the whole time. He started laughing again. "No, I promise. Kill Sean and Amanda is free."

"Don't kill Sean! Please Emma don't!" I didn't want to, but I didn't want Amanda to die. She was my best friend. And although that was her husband. He wasn't faithful. I never told Amanda, because I couldn't, but while she was busy planning the wedding, Sean was busy fondling other women. She was crying. "No Emma! Don't!" I couldn't believe she thought I would do something. I was so lost right now. I just stared in the distance. I could kill someone. His hand was wrapped around my arm right now. But I didn't have it in me. Every time I thought of the Joker getting what he deserved, I remembered when he was little. He had already suffered. His grip got tighter. "Choose, or I'll just kill them both." I did hear that though. I raised the gun. It was pointed at the suffering Sean. "Go ahead, put him out of his misery." I could hear him laughing. He was trying to brain wash me. Like this would be helping Sean a lot. Amanda was screaming now. At me. A look of hate in her eyes. I didn't want to see this. So I turned around. She still screamed. No words. Just horror. The Joker was now becoming impatient. "Do it already! It's easy." I couldn't do it. I couldn't take the life away from a human. I once felt bad for killing a snake once. How the hell would I get over this one? Then I heard a gunshot. And Amanda screamed.

"No…" She was silent now. But I could hear her crying. What a damn surprise. And then I felt the Jokers arms around me. He moved me so I could see Amanda crying. Half of her was dead already. That was too easy to see. And then I felt my arms being lifted and the gun pointed at Amanda. The Jokers hand around mine. I knew what was going to happen. I started screaming myself. But there was nothing I could do. Because he pressed down on my finger, making me pull the trigger. A gunshot was heard, followed by one scream and then silence. As soon as I was free from the Joker's grip, I fell to the ground. Looking at my own hands. Although I didn't pull the trigger, my fingerprints were on it. "See, you did it! Easy." He laughed.

I tried to cry. For some reason, I just couldn't. I was silent on the cold cement ground. The gun in front of me. I shoved it out of my gaze and laid down. I was numb. Completely and utterly numb. It didn't make a difference if I lived now. Amanda died. My hands were on that gun. My best friend was dead. Forever gone. She would never be able to make me laugh again. We could never go out partying again on Friday nights down at Maria's dorm. Or go to the little café and get coffee before class. I thought I heard the Joker say something but I couldn't hear him. Or maybe I could. I just didn't care to listen. I did however feel the ground disappear from beneath me. I was being carried over his shoulder. Carried upstairs maybe? I wasn't sure. I was so weak and so broken I was almost not even awake any more. Actually I could feel myself slowly passing out. And then I felt a bed beneath me. And I did hear the door shut. I was all alone again. Finally.

I rolled onto my side and noticed two slices of bread on the bed. I ate them because I knew I was slowly fading if I didn't. I only managed to get down one and half slices. My stomach churned and I could feel the bread coming back up. I raced over to the wall, where the was a door that led to a bathroom. I was hovering over the toilet. But nothing came back up. I managed to keep the food down. That was good. But I couldn't get myself to care anymore. As I was walking I got glimpse of the mirror. I turned and looked at myself. It was the worse I had ever seen myself. My hair, usually shoulder length. Was chopped. Halfway between my neck and jaw line. My eyes were bruised and red from crying. I still had the word Emma written across my forehead. My lips were pale, almost blue, and badly cut up. My complexion was completely pale. My eyes, usually bright like gold, were so dead. They were plain. And there was nothing in them. I hated the way I looked. I now knew why Amanda was so terrified of me.

I could finally start crying again. And I did. And I walked back to the bed. Laying down and trying to forget everything. Although Amanda's terrified face was still in my head. And her eyes. They seemed to hate me so much, like this was my idea. Cried at that thought too. And then I heard someone crying with me. Or should I say, something. I looked down onto the floor. There was that little puppy. I lifted him up and set him on the bed. I watched him wonder to the bread and eat pieces of it. I watched his little teeth rip the bread to pieces. I watched him so intensely and so closely, just to forget Amanda's face. It was almost working. Until I fell asleep.

And I had this dream. I had this nightmare.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

I saw Amanda. She was alive. And full of life. I was so happy to see her. I could see her now. She was sitting in her apartment, talking with Sean and Lizzy, another colleague from Paris. They were having lunch maybe? Plates were on the table. And they were laughing. It was great to see her smile. Her and Sean were holding hands. And Lizzy, she seemed to have been dying of laughter over a joke Amanda must've told. Amanda was always one for having a pretty good joke to tell. Although most were pointless, you'd laugh anyways. You'd just see the way she's crack up over her own lame joke and you couldn't help but join in and laugh with her. More importantly, Amanda was never one to leave you in silence. One minute we'd talk about something and she'd switch the subject when we were done. She always had something to talk about. I don't think I've ever seen her unhappy before. Especially now since she and Sean were married.

Anyways, it was obvious they were enjoying themselves. I would have loved to stand and watch but something inside me just wanted to join in all the fun. I got that feeling in me though. That 'what if they don't want me here' feeling. And I almost chickened out. Almost. But Amanda was my best friend. She always wanted me by her side. Which was why I was a little confused when she seemed irritated to see me. I walked in and she gave me a look. Like she really didn't want me here. And I felt so hurt. Sean looked over at me, "Beat it whore!" He always was one to joke too. And call me names. But he never seemed so serious. And usually Amanda was the one to turn around and smack him upside his head. Jokingly of course. But this didn't happen. She seemed to hate looking at me. And she was crying. I don't know what happened, but we weren't in her apartment anymore. No, we were somewhere else. Somewhere dark. And Amanda was crying. I don't even know where Lizzy went. She just seemed to vanish right before me.

She was crying so much. I didn't know why. She was making me angry though. I could feel it. Because she wouldn't stop crying. And I heard Sean's voice. He was saying things. What they were, I'm not sure of. But he was screaming them. And I could only see Amanda. Her eyes like I've never seen them before. Burning with some questionable rage. Although, they did look familiar. Anyways, so she was crying. And screaming. But I didn't seem to listen. I couldn't. I mean, I did try to listen, but it was as if someone was preventing me from hearing. I saw her lips moving. I saw her fear-filled eyes. Along with hate. I seen blood. Lots of blood. Coated along her lovely wedding dress.

I wanted her to just stop talking. Stop talking and stop crying. And start laughing again. I could feel something in my hand. Cold and metallic. But I didn't bother to look. I did something not quite right. I lifted this object. I could see how upset Amanda was. That's when I realized I was holding a gun. I heard satanic laughter followed by darkness. Amanda was gone. And then I heard a gun shot. Following shortly after, one last piercing scream.

I woke up so quickly. My mind still disturbed by Amanda's haunting image. I was almost glad to wake up and find that really was just a nightmare. Because it had been all me that pulled the trigger then. And I can't even begin to describe how hysterical I felt. Not only because I was laughing, but because I was literally holding myself together. My hands wrapped around my knees. I hardly felt the intense pain in my right leg. Still hurt from the bullet wound. All I felt was this intense feeling of dizziness. Like when you'd go to the dentist for a cavity or something, and they'd give you the laughing gas, so you'd feel happy, instead of frightened. Well that's sort of how I felt. Only I didn't feel happy. I felt disturbed. And completely sad. Only very light headed. Like I still couldn't believe this was all happening. I couldn't. I didn't want this. Of course, a lot of people don't want to have certain things happen to them. Life is never perfectly planned. Life is never written like a book. With a beginning, middle and an end.

Somehow though, I managed to pull myself together. I wanted to live. I knew this. But there's no doubt in me I would've traded my own life for Amanda to be alive and happy again. But she was gone. I had to face the truth. And she wasn't coming back. And even though I still remembered the hate in her eyes towards me, I know that deep down, Amanda would want me to live too. Although if she were alive now, she'd probably have said something like, 'Are you kidding me? I'd want you right next to me. So we could touch the clouds.' But she'd only be joking of course. And so now I faced an even bigger challenge. I had to escape. It may take from hours to maybe weeks, months, or years. But I will escape. And I will be alive. And nothing can stop that.

So I looked around and pulled in my surroundings. This disgusting room seemed to make me anxious. Like something may happen. And I froze up a bit. Which in my opinion is a bad way to start an escape. I almost felt like there would be motion detectors in the flooring. And once I stepped onto the floor, someone would be in. With a knife in hand or worse. Which made me think, maybe I should wait. I was so disgusted at how weak I was. Not just physically. But how weak I was emotionally. I used to be able to pull through anything. But now, I just felt lost. And pathetic. Like an abandoned pet.

I hopelessly tried to find the strength in me to get off this damn bed and walk right out that door. But then I'd just be stupid. Really, as if the Joker would not have somebody guarding this door right this very moment. But then again there is a chance. And so I did finally get up. I stood onto the floor, and as if my thoughts had came true, I stepped on something, I think it was a plate, causing it to clank against the wood, which just so happened to slide and causing me to slip and fall on my butt. Making one of the loudest noises. I was unsurprised to find a man, in all grey walk in. He gave me a weird, confused look. "Hey boss, she's awake!" Now I know he had only shouted to the other room but for some reason my head was pulsing in pain. The worst headache ever. My hand lightly brushed to my forehead, intentionally to find out if I was feverish. Only to feel the bumpy scabs that formed 'Emma', on my forehead. So of course I felt the waterworks start up again. Then I heard footsteps. But I didn't dare move from the floor. I just didn't want to.

"Oh sweetheart," said this voice I can only describe as something out of hell. "I have a great day planned for us. Have you seen the beautiful day outside? Not a sunray in sight!" He laughed as he grabbed at my arm, pulling me to my feet. I didn't have it in me to walk. At all. So I was pretty much being dragged by my arm. Which ached. Everything once again ached. I was so sore and I could feel everything. We were still in the same room though. "I don't feel like dragging you today." He laughed, ripping my arm upward so I was now standing. He pulled a knife from his pocket, gently pressing it against my forehead. "It's a shame, your cuts are almost gone!" He laughed using the knife to reopen the skin on my forehead. I screamed in pain, grabbing at his wrist. He laughed harder at my weak attempt to stop him. "So Emma, walk and I won't finish the other three letters." I glared at him. "You are so pathetic." I said. He only smiled bigger, his eyes looking wildly into mine. "I'm pathetic? You can't even walk! And I'm pathetic!" He laughed and continued to pull me down through the familiar hallway.

And of course down the familiar steps. I touched my chin, feeling a little pain as I did so. I guess I didn't need stitches. Well, I probably did, but it was healing anyways. I watched the steps carefully, trying with every ounce of my energy to keep up with the Joker and not fall at the same time. Which was a bit of a challenge. I stumbled at least once, and found myself being pulled down two or three steps sat a time. I hated how weak I felt. How weak I looked! This of course brought joy to the Joker. And finally we walked down, or jogged down actually, all three stories. I noticed how his hand was holding mine. And not my sore one either. Which made me feel uneasy. And then the huge steel door was opening, and in the garage was the Joker's van. Although this one looked different than the other one. But still, it was trashed and ugly. I pulled my hand from the Joker's, surprisingly he let go. And watched him walk into the van. I almost thought I was going with him on one of his schemes. I heard him start the engine up and call my name.

"Emeralda! Come have a seat next to me willya?" I heard his shrieking laughter. And I hated myself for walking over to his van. Hated myself for opening the door. And absolutely hated myself even more for sitting in the passenger seat. He began to pull out of the garage and continued driving down a lonesome road located deep within the woods. It was an absolutely ugly day outside. Dark grey clouds owned the sky. It wasn't raining but I could hear the thunder from afar. A bad storm was coming. This was terrible. Along with needles, thunderstorms scared the hell out of me. And this was something the Joker would be pleased to see. I just stared at the sky. It was a dark, grey-ish blue. Signs of a perfect storm. I wasn't sure where we were going. Or why the radio was on. It was on some entirely old station. Music playing as a soft, angelic voice sang of a lost love. It made me tremble. And oddly enough, I could see the Joker, smiling and sort of swaying to the music. Then he looked over at me. I almost blushed. I hated the fact he caught me staring. Not that I enjoyed it, but it surely did amuse him.

"Don't you just love road trips?" I just stared blankly out the window. Trying my best to ignore him. And watched the city go by. It was so depressing. I haven't even caught sight of a human yet. The weather made everyone hide inside, cozy in their own homes. I could feel the tears forming. How I wished I could feel that sense of security. That warmth of my own home. Then I realized how depressing my life is. Not just now, but the past and everything. I hated school. And I mean absolutely hated school. I had few friends and kept single. I always felt lost and lonely. And then somehow I felt like going to college in Paris not only would keep me apart from my ex, but also would give me a fresh start. But I lived with Amanda in a dorm. Nothing was my own. Really, when Amanda went on dates with Sean. I felt so alone. I didn't know what to do. I guess that was another reason why I hated Sean. Except right now, I felt worse. For ever hating Sean. Who died because of me.

Paris was nothing like I had hoped. Amanda was just about my only friend. Or was. And now I have nothing. I really do have nothing. Except family of course. But for some reason I couldn't help but think I'd never see them again. Only because I knew I wouldn't feel like myself going home. Not after all of this. Unless, I could get far away from this. Which brought about this second wind throughout my body. I stared down at the door handle. My hand slowly resting upon it. Sure hitting the cement would hurt. But in the long run, wouldn't this be better? All I could focus on now was how perfect things would go for me if I just opened the door. And jumped. Everything seemed so well planned for a moment. "You wouldn't dare!" I was surprised to find the Joker speaking to me. And surprised to find him speeding up. "You don't think I would?" And ironically, it was me laughing. "Wow, are you stupid!" I laughed harder now, but it was all pure hysteria. And then I did open the door. And I did jump.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

I tried to numb every part of my body as I hit the cement, rolling against the ground and coming to a stop. Of course this did nothing. And I felt every ounce of pain. Major road rash. I could feel blood leaking from me. It was warm and somehow, its feeling gave me a sense of false hope. False hope. I was sure I'd never really escape from the Joker. But I liked the way it felt anyways. I thought that, in only seconds, he'd stop the van, put it in reverse, and come back for me. But he did nothing. He slowed some what, but he continued to drive. Which was odd. I started running. Away from the van of course, because now I do think I heard the van screech to a stop. I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to check either. I ran screaming my lungs out. I could hear thunder crackling over head, so I had assumed the city was pretty much dead. And I assumed right. It was like one of those terrible nightmares. Where you're running your fastest, but it doesn't seem to be enough. And you're screaming your loudest and no one hears you. Which was why I began to slow down a little. Then a lot. And soon I found myself wondering through this dead city. Had no one really heard me? Or was the Joker too intimidating that no one had the guts to come out. I knew if I switched places with these people, comfy in their own houses' warmth, and I heard screaming, I wouldn't need to think twice about helping someone else. Was this city too snobby to attend to my needs? Or was this city to frightened? Everyone was too afraid. Everyone. It seem unlikely that either of these options were possible for… everyone. There were heroes…right?

With my hope being false hope, I had only one other option. I don't know why I didn't call the police. Or why I didn't bang on someone's front door, begging for their help. Or why I didn't get a taxi, and ride far out of this city. Or why I didn't just keep running. But those options hadn't occurred to me right then. I thought, 'Well, this is it.' And instead of continuing, I sat down on the curb, and let the rain fall. Literally. It was sprinkling. I had no where to go. I couldn't go to college again. I'd never be able to have another room mate. I couldn't live by myself. I wouldn't have any where to go. I couldn't return home. Everyone would look at me like I was a freak. Everything has changed now. And I , for once, can't do a damn thing about it. I just sat there. On the curb. Listening to the sounds of this dead city. I could hear maybe a car miles away, speeding down some freeway. A slight moment of thunder every now and then. I could here crickets. And the rain drizzle down on the cement. I heard the wind whistling amongst the unlit windows of this forbidden street. Or so it seemed. No one was outside. It was so frightening. And then I did hear someone. Footsteps. They seemed real enough for me. But I didn't have to take a second look to know whose they belonged to. Because seconds after, I was flung from my little curb, my safe place, and thrown into the air. An iron grip wrapped around my arm. Why didn't I just keep running? Because I had no where to go. I don't think I've ever felt so alone before.

"That was a cute little stunt you pulled back there!" the Joker whispered in my ear. "But now my makeup's running!" He laughed and oddly enough I couldn't help but laugh too. I knew I shouldn't, but I did. And then there was silence. I looked up at the Joker, his black eyes staring down at me, like he was trying to burn a hole through me. Then I noticed all the other sounds. Like how the rain wasn't just a drizzle, but was throwing down buckets of water. The thunder was so fierce, I had heard nothing like it before. And I actually did hear people. People who were now screaming. I looked to my right to see a restaurant. A fancy one at that. Filled with dozens of people, and right there at the front table, was a phone. I burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. Which seemed to surprise the Joker. I was clenching my stomach, I was laughing so hard. All along help was right behind me, and I didn't even notice. How could I not have heard the people in there. Although they were frightened now, seeing us two through the glass, how could I not have heard that annoying clanking noise of dishes be passed. And the music! Instrumental and loud. I only laughed harder, as the Joker pulled me down the street.

"What's so funny!" The Joker screamed as we headed back to his van. He had a tight grip on my arm, but I didn't feel the pain. I didn't feel the blood flowing from my road rash either. I didn't feel a thing. Which made me craze with laughter. I was so utterly broken. "Did you…. see…. all those people!" I said between laughs. I heard him grunt and then we turned right. I had no idea where we were headed, and then I seen his van, parked in the middle of the road. "They just watched me…watched me run away… with you!" I was going crazy, maybe a little fresh air wasn't what I needed. The Joker dragged me to the van, and effortlessly through me into the passenger seat, slamming the door behind him. And then seconds later he was behind the wheel. Revving up the van's old engine. But before he put the car in drive he turned to look at me. His gaze more evil than ever. "Do something like this again, and we'll have to give old Ally a call." And just like that, it was over. This hysterical buzz was killed. By one little sentence. Ally's name was mentioned. My best friend's name. Ever since college though, we drifted apart. She was a housewife now. A stay-at-home mom. And was married to Gregory and had two daughters, Lindsey and Miranda. Five and seven. She had so much. So many people that needed her. Greg, Lindsey, Miranda. And not to mention the two cats, Smokey and Mittens. If she were gone, too many people would be hurt. Just like with Amanda and Sean. I knew from Amanda Sean was an only child, but it made it that much worst for his parents to know their only child is dead. Because of me. And Amanda was opposite. I think she had five brothers, a sister. Two step sisters. And one half-sister. All of them loved her with all their hearts. She was missed by some many people. So many hearts were broken. Because of me. If I were gone, I'm sure it would hurt my family too. But then no on else would get hurt.

He had me so brainwashed. Like all of this was actually 100 percent my fault. He was wrong, it was 50, 50.

"Leave Ally out of this," I begged for it more than I said it. And the Joker smiled; he was pleased. He put the van in drive and took off. I heard him lock the doors too. I had completely forgotten why we were driving into town in the first pace. Actually I'm not sure if he had told me. But now I knew where we were going. Back to his dull apartment. I guess he didn't trust me. The Joker actually believed I would pull another dumb stunt and put my sister's life in danger. But we were headed back anyways. How long were we gone? Was it possible the clock read 7:54, when we left here around 4:30? It felt like we were gone for minutes. Into town, I jumped for an escape, sat at a curb, and he took me. And then like I hit a brick wall, memories flooded back. And I hated, HATED, to remember them.

I was screaming. I was sitting at the curb, but I wasn't alone. I remember now the dozens of people who came up to me. Asking if I was okay and if I needed help. Hands grabbing my shoulders to see if I was still here. Which to them I probably wasn't. And then someone had their cell phone out, they were dialing some number. And I….

I didn't want to remember this part at all.

I snatched the phone from them and instead of calling the police, I actually chucked it across the road. All the while I heard distinct laughter in my head. I was going insane. I couldn't believe it. These people wanted to help me, and I denied them. Did I even scream after all. Or what? And then the worst memory of them came up. I knew it was the Joker walking toward me. I knew it. And yet, he was the only one I seemed to actually notice. This was entirely scary. Too much for me to comprehend. Why in the world was the Joker, the only person I happened to notice. Of all the good people trying to help me. Why was it Him who I noticed, who I felt touch me.

I could've puked. Actually I would've if it weren't for the fact that I knew I had to keep everything in my stomach to live. Hunger was one feeling I never felt while I was here. So I wasn't sure if I needed to eat. Actually, now I wasn't sure of anything. I wasn't sure where I was at first either. Until I heard the too familiar noise of the garage door opening. And I knew too well where I was. I was being dragged, well led, through the garage and of course to the same metallic doors the always led to someone's death. Except today, I was going back through them. And then I was so sure I would be half-dragged half-carried up the stairs. Except neither happened. I was just walking, slower than usual, up the three stories. All the while holding the Joker's hand. Which was something I wasn't too pleased about. I mean, I hated this guy and yet, I needed him just to make it up stairs. I was pathetic. He wasn't laughing for once, when I stumbled up a step, nearly landing on my face. Actually the odd part was, he actually stopped until I got back onto my feet. I didn't like the complete silence. It seemed more frightening then his hysteric laugh. The hall way was empty and dark. I would've never have guessed which door to go through. But we went into a room. Much different than the one

was use to. It wasn't an ugly dark black and grey. No, this room was white. Everything was white. A white bed with white pillows. And clear table with a white lamp next to the bed. A white dresser. White carpet. A white door leading to the bathroom, maybe. White curtains. It was almost blinding.

I didn't know what to expect, or what to do. Except something on another table, on the other side of the bed, caught my eye. It was another clear, floral vase filled with water. And in it was a red rose. It was surprising that it wasn't white. It was truly the only thing that made this room look semi-beautiful. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew this place belonged to the Joker. Which made me realize once again how oddly silent it was. I noticed the Joker hunched over a white desk, in the corner of the room. I heard slight murmurs from him as it seemed he was looking for something. I still had no idea of what I should do. I knew trying to run away was definitely out of the question. So I kind of sat down against the wall. Trying to make myself believe things would get better. I was fiddling with my clothes. Still the same ugly black hoodie and sweats. Which disgusted me more than anything. I felt so gross. And then the Joker stood up straight. I still heard talking. And no one but me was around. He turned around and eyed my on the floor. A smile growing from his lips. I hated that look. "You're staying here tonight!" He said. But without screaming it and without laughing. Then he abruptly left the room and shut the door behind him.

For once I was alone. Completely alone without another soul in the room. This is what I wanted and yet, I felt utterly strange inside. I didn't like this.

No one told me what to do. So I did it myself. I walked around the room, observing things. Like the dresser which was filled of lady's clothes. It was obvious this wasn't the Joker's room. But I never noticed a woman who live here. Or maybe I did. I just didn't remember. And because I felt nothing, I stole some clothes. Everything seemed a little too small so I ended up taking a pair of white jeans, which I knew were going to be very snug, and a white hoodie. Needless to say, everything was white. And I did end up finding some under clothes. I was determined to shower. No matter how bad things were, a shower always seemed to set my mind straight. And, because I wanted no interruptions, I took this chance to check outside my room. To make sure no one was coming. And no one was at all in the hall way. I heard no voices. Nothing. Silence. Which I started to enjoy. And then headed to the shower.

The shower was very pleasing at first. I felt clean and much better than before. It just worried me to see all the bruises hidden under my clothes. The ones against my ribs and thighs. The cuts down my arms, which I didn't remember getting. And the road rash burned. It was all along my forearms and my right shoulder. It had stopped bleeding, but the warmth of the water felt like I was torching my skin. And my face stung from the soap too. My face was so tender. I hated how weak I felt. I got out of the shower as soon as possible. Which was weird. I expected to feel better. But noticing all my cuts and bruises, and the scars-to-be, made me feel worse. And I dressed quickly. Feeling pain with every brush of fabric to skin contact. The mirror made me worse. My eyes were completely lifeless. And I was still bruised, although not as swollen. The 'Emma' was just about gone, although traces of the 'E' were still visible. The room was steamy and so I hurried out into the white room. I know I had just slept for so long, but another nap seemed great. Except to my surprise I wasn't alone. No. The Joker sat upon the huge white bed. I noticed he wasn't wearing his jacket. Just his purple snake skin sweater and his green waist coat. I tried not to make a sound. Like maybe being quiet would turn me invisible. But it hadn't.

"And so she awakens." he said, in a dark voice. I wasn't sure who he was referring to. I kept quiet. And then he turned to face me. It took me by surprise to see a lot of his make up missing. It was streaked, and I knew then he had been in the rain. "Care to sleep Emma? I could do for a nap myself." He laughed at my horrified expression. I didn't move, didn't speak. I just shook my head slowly. "Aw come one, I don't bite hard!" Now his voice was raised and his smile grew. "You know you want to!" And he was laughing. I turned away. I didn't want to face him. To see him. But I heard him get up. And walk over to me. His arms wrapped tightly around me and he whispered," You and I could be really fun." I cried, noticing the knife in his hands. Noticing the way he held me. I hated every bit of it. But I didn't fight him off either. I just stood there. Because I thought if I didn't move, I just might go invisible.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

"Emmmmma…" he whispered into my ear. I felt him nudge his face into my neck. And I cringed, barely pulling away from him. "You just can't resist can you? You love me!" He screeched into my ear, laughing afterwards. The anger was too much to hold in. "STOP IT!" I screamed, while ripping his arms from around my body. I turned around to face him. "Don't you dare say I love you! Don't you even think about saying it!" He just smiled at me, like this was so amusing, and it probably was ..to him. "Emma, I can see right through that shield of yours. I know what-" "I said SHUT UP! You don't know a damn thing about me. And you never will!" His smile was fading now, but humor was still in his eyes. "If you knew anything about what I wanted, you'd let me go." The Joker shook his head slowly, silently laughing to his self. He put his hands together and looked back up at me. "If I let you go, Emma. You'd come back." He was batting his eyelashes at me, smiling. I felt the rage boil up inside me again. "Like hell I would!" He seemed to just think this was hilarious, because now he was laughing. Bent over clutching his stomach because it was so funny. Then after a moment he snapped his head up to look at me. "Where else would you go?"

I didn't want to, but I cringed at his words. He made me think. Where would I go? Like before, I knew I couldn't go home. I couldn't go back to Paris. Where would I go? I stood there silently looking at him. He stood up now, and his smile remained. "See." he said. I started shaking my head, but I couldn't help but cry. Tears streamed down my face and I did all I could to avoid making eye contact with the Joker. This is what he wanted, wasn't it? He wanted to break me, so I would be his. I hated that feeling. That my mind was right. This is what he wanted. But why? Was he THAT bored? "Emma, you and I are forever. I can't live without you, you can't live without me." I started laughing now. "Oh really? You know you're are just hilarious Joker! I know just as much as you do that I mean nothing to you! I'm just some pathetic toy you got your hands on!" He laughed at this. I hated that he found everything funny. "Emma, you complete me!"  
>"SHUT UP! You make no sense!" I screamed. And then I melted to the floor. Sitting up against the bathroom door, crying my eyes out. He ruined everything for me! I could no longer be who I wanted to be.<p>

"Okay well…." he said, a little too casually. "I have an errand to run." I heard him walk over to me. But I avoided looking up. But in the corner of my eye, I could see him kneeling in front of me. His hand grabbed my chin, forcing me to look over at him. His grip was too tight and I couldn't look away. "Do me a favor, dear. Stay home and be a good girl, please?" I kept my eyes away from his, managing to look over his shoulder, until finally he let go of me. He stood up , "Oh and Emma?" I looked up at him, even though I didn't want to. "Cheer up." He smiled down at me. That pure evil smile. "The worst is yet to come!" And then he started laughing. And with that, he left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
>It's not like I wasn't alone. I could hear voices on the other side of the door. They were having a casual conversation. Or at least it seemed so. So no going anywhere there. And even though the apartment was three stories, and I may even survive the jump, the window was bolted shut. And I could only open it about three inches. So an escape was completely impossible. Unless I killed myself. Which I would never even think about doing.<p>

And it's not like this room completely terrorized me, so I walked about the room. The carpet was actually very soft. And the room was actually very pretty. And peaceful. But everything was white. And it was a little annoying. I made it over to the desk the Joker was standing at before. When I first came here. Everything was neatly put away, the desk was bare. I opened one drawer, which held a lot of newspaper article clippings. Some with the Joker's picture, some without. Some were of commissioner Gordon. Some had no pictures but all seemed to be based around the Joker. Nothing too brilliant there. I shut the drawer and opened the other one on the other side of the desk. This one was different. Inside were pictures. Some I couldn't make out. Others were too familiar. One was a picture of the building in which Amanda held her wedding. Another was a picture of Amanda and Sean. Some pictures were of people I didn't know. And then one picture in particular caught my eye. It was me, about 6 years ago. Yeah it was my senior year in high school. The picture of me getting the "Most Likely To Succeed" award. I giggled at the memory. I remembered think 'Yeah right,' as I was called up I front of the whole school.

Then I came across another newspaper clipping. One of two bloody bodies found outside the Building. It was Amanda and Sean, in their wedding clothes, dead in front of the building where they got married. Without thinking, I crumbled the picture, and shut the drawer. Not caring of the fact there were other pictures of me in there too. And I hopelessly walked away from the desk.

Next I made my way over to the rose. It was beautiful. I absolutely loved red roses. I touched its soft petals. And smelled its wonderful scent. It seemed too out of place in this room. The room was too bright, the rose seemed to not belong. I think the one in the black room was better. It fit perfectly, like the room actually had life. I grabbed the rose, careful not to detach the petals. I don't know why I was taking it out of it's vase, but I knew I wanted to hold it. I carried it over to the bed and sat down. Admiring the little waves designed in the rose's petals. It absolutely calmed me. I don't know why, but its softness made me feel a little better. And then, like from a horror movie, one petal slowly drifted off into the air, and landed on the white carpet. It seemed like my touch killed it. So I quickly ran over and placed it back into the vase.

Next I wondered over to the dresser. I wondered who used this room before me? Why it was filled with girl's clothes? But, I really didn't care. A couple looks into the dresser at all the white clothes and I was done. I hated to say it but…. I was bored. I could go insane just staying in this room. There was nothing colorful about it. Nothing wild and different about this room. Except it was too bright. So I wondered over to the window and opened the curtains. The sight was too good to be true. Although the sky was still grey. The rain had stopped. And outside surrounding this oddly placed apartment was nothing but woods. Fully loaded trees, with absolutely beautiful green leaves. Little wild flowers grew randomly throughout the woods. It seemed so pretty. So peaceful. But every time I remembered this was the Joker's place, everything beautiful was destroyed. And so now I couldn't bare to look outside anymore, but I longed for the fresh scent of air after a good storm. I cracked open the window, wind flowing in fiercely. I hadn't remembered how cold it actually was outside. And then I wondered over to the bed.

Of course my mind was still raging and there was no way I could rest. How could everything have gone so wrong? One little trip, to one friend's wedding and then….. I'm not even myself anymore. It's outrageous.  
>I did all I could to repress those certain memories and now, they're the only thing on my mind now-a-days. How long have I been here? 2 weeks? Maybe? I had no idea. There's no clock around here. Now calendar. Of course, I didn't expect there to be one. All I knew was that each seemed to pass by slowly and yet, I've been gone for so long. By now I'm sure my college has realized I was gone. At least I could take this time to enjoy myself. Well, those aren't exactly the right words. And as I laid there, I felt my eyelids began to droop. So it's been a long, hurtful day. I'm allowed to be tired. At least when I'm sleeping I can escape from all the pain and all the terror. Well, most of the time.<p>

Sometime Later.

I don't know how long I slept. I just woke up and everything outside was still grey. There hasn't been a day of sunshine in I don't know how long. And after sleeping, I noticed how sore I was. The pain just started to kick in. Every move of my right arm stung. I guess that's what I get for jumping from a moving vehicle. And my mind seemed a little more 'here,' I guess you could say. I remembered the whole conversation from yesterday. Or was that today? But that didn't matter. What mattered was that I was no longer alone. And my peace was interrupted by the Joker. Who sat at his white desk. Which brought back the memories of those pictures. He had a newspaper on the table. But that wasn't what caught my eye. It was the bowl of fruit on the desk. My stomach growled at its sight. How long has it been since I've eaten? Days? I was so hungry. Only the sight of food had brought this new feeling along. I slowly, yet quietly, sat up in bed. I would steel the fruit as soon as he was gone.

I slowly moved my arm, to help balance me on top of the bed. A fresh wave of pain shot through my arm. And, of course, I whined in pain. Damn it. I just gave myself away. The Joker was now staring at me. I could see his make up was freshly done. No more smears and streaks. Then he turned back to his desk and began shoving papers into the drawers. Not very organized now are we? Then he got up from his chair and stretched his arms out in front of him. I shuddered at the sound of his shoulder cracking. Without looking over at me he said, "Are you hungry?" I couldn't tell if he was smiling, or smirking. Or whatever. So I didn't know if he had some plans of poisoning the fruit. But I was too hungry to deny anything. I still didn't answer. And so he looked over at me now. "Oh you're not? Cuz it's been about four days…" Wow four days? "Yes, I'm hungry." I barely choked out the words. I sounded raspy and pathetic. Almost as if I had begged of the food instead of accepted it. His hands wrapped around the bowl and carried the fruit over to me, setting it on the edge of the bed. I slowly and painfully crawled over to the fruit, picking up a green apple and bit into it. It was tangy and delicious.

I almost ate the whole core, seeds, and everything. All the while the Joker leaned against the wall, watching me. Although I normally felt uncomfortable when people watch me eat, right now I could care less. I then practically inhaled the grapes. And next I ate a banana. And then it hit me. I ate way too fast. And I couldn't eat anymore. I slowly leaned away from the bowl. Not even finishing the orange I had peeled. I was sticky, too. Icky. But it felt wonderful to get some food in me. I felt well rested and well fed. And then an awkward silence poured over as I sat there. Staring at my hands, feeling the Joker stare at me. "Thanks.." I just barely whispered it. Barely. But I still heard the Joker laugh to himself. I shouldn't have thanked him. He really didn't deserve it. But, oh well. I guess I was just to damn nice.

After a moment, the Joker said, "I have a little surprise for you." I instantly glared over to him. Last time he had said that, Amanda and Sean had died. Because of me. I shook my head slowly. "I don't want it." I heard him laugh, and he walked over to me, grasping hard at my wrist. Then he lifted me up from the bed. "She's really quite a talker." I looked up at him, confused. And Instantly I began to panic. Had he called Ally after all? Did he have her? I couldn't help but freeze up, and follow him like a dog as he led me down a hallway and to the stair case. But today we just walked down one set of steps, turning down another dimly lit hallway. We passed about two doors before finally entered one. Inside the room was just as plain as the first. Black and grey. And about five men sat around in the living room. This room was bigger than both of the rooms I had slept in. Three were on the couch, one guy was standing, and one sat in a chair. These were probably the Joker's Hench men. Then I spotted a woman. She was standing behind the couch. She had really long, black hair. Her complexion was pale and she was wearing black leather pants, and a black hoodie.

And then another girl, not much older than 18 maybe, was sitting on the floor. She had blonde hair, which covered her face. Obviously she wasn't one of them. The Joker pulled me into room. And over to wear the one guy was sitting in a chair. As soon as the guy locked eyes with the Joker, he instantly jumped out of the chair. "Sorry boss." The Joker laughed and then sat down. I just stood in front of him, having no idea what to do or where to go. "Emma…" he smiled, patting his leg. I stepped back from him. "I think I'd rather stand." He giggled at my remark and I walked over to the wall behind him. Leaning against it, I listened to them talk. "What should we do?" asked the bald guy on the couch. Of course I had no idea what they were talking about. "Nothing," said the Joker. A few of the guys looked at him confused. "What? What ya mean nothing!" screeched the tiny black haired woman. "They took every damn dime Joker!" I heard him start to laugh. "Alexa, I was going to burn the money anyway." "WHAT!" she screeched. Now making her way to stand in front of the Joker. Another guy in the room spoke up, "How were you going to pay us?" It was silly how Alexa tapped her foot impatiently. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"I was never going to pay you!" the Joker screamed, getting up from his chair and towering over little Alexa. She stepped back a bit but continued to glare at him. "What do you mean Joker?" she said through her teeth. "I mean, I was never going to pay you in the first place." he said it slowly and carefully, to make sure she heard. "I quit!" Alexa screamed, turning away from him. But he quickly grabbed her shoulder, and ripped her back, turning her as well, then clenched her shoulders. "You're not going anywhere!" He yelled at her. Then to the rest, "None of you are!" Then he threw Alexa onto the ground, making her pretty much land all over the blonde sitting on the floor. The force threw them both back onto the floor and I caught sight of the blonde girl. Her face was so beaten. So bloody and swollen. Her eyes full of fear. She almost reminded me of myself. When I was first taken here. Which made me think. 'Was this the Joker's new girl?' 'Was he finished with me?' The questions burned in my mind, and without thinking, I spoke, "Who is she!"  
>The whole room grew deadly quiet. All eyes were on me.<p>

"Oh her?" asked the Joker, picking her up by her hair. "I told you I had a surprise!" He screeched with laughter. The poor girl started crying. "Emma, meet Eliza." I stared into the girl's eyes. And she stared back. She was so frightened. So afraid. And mostly, so lost. Because she looked at me with the same hate that she showed when looking at the Joker. "She's going to be a great toy!" I winced at his words. I was so right. This was the end of me! At least this pain and suffering would end once and for all. But then the Joker threw her back onto the floor. And I lost contact with her eyes. And instead looked at the Joker. His look was horrified, in a theatrical kind of way. He was definitely enjoying himself. "Oh Emma!" He yelled, rushing over to me, "Don't be so jealous! She's not for me, she'd for them!" He pointed back to the guys surrounding her. I winced, I didn't dare think of what they'd do to her. And then I realized what the Joker had said. I inhaled sharply. "I am not jealous!" I whined. I felt myself blush. How could he even say such a thing! He smiled and grabbed my shoulders. "I know you too well Emma!" And then he kissed me, again.

His lips crushed mine. I almost thought I would have another lip bleed. I felt one of his hands wrap around the back of my neck, forcing me to kiss him back. My hand gently touched his arm, and when I heard him laugh against my lips, I realized what I was doing. I automatically grabbed his jacket, and tried to push him away from me. And he was laughing too much to care. One hand still resting on my shoulder. Finally, he looked back up at me. "You're coming along quite well, Emma. It's only a matter of time!" And then he laughed some more. I was so blushing by now. Everyone had seen that. Seen how gently I rested my hand on his arm. Surely it was nothing. I just shook it off and slumped to the floor. How embarrassing.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

So it's been what now? A whole 5 days since meeting Eliza? And the poor girl was so hurt. Her whole body was practically bruised and swollen. I felt sorry for her. Especially now since my wounds were healing. Everything was mostly white scars now. The 'Emma,' only visible if you were looking for it closely. My bullet wound and my hand were still a little puffy, but they were pretty much healed. So these past few days have been a drag. I'm not sure why either. I was pretty much alone. Except the occasional visit from one of the Joker's henchmen who talked of the latest heist he pulled. I could care less. But I hated being alone. It felt almost worse than the hurt and loss. Almost. But I could deal.

And every now and then, I would go to a downstairs room and be with Alexa and Eliza. Alexa was a talker. She would talk of her past and her future plans. It was hard to believe that she had such big plans for herself, even though she currently worked for the Joker. She talked so much. Although she seemed to come off as friendly, she actually had some really snobby remarks. She didn't care at all about what you had to say, unless it was about her. Mainly she would tell me to shut up. I talked too much. And poor Eliza would just sit there. Never really saying a thing. Sometimes though, she'd talk about how easy it would be to jump from this floor and kill herself. Or to steal a gun and end it all. And Alexa usually said, "Then do it already.' But she never did. She was too scared.

Until just this morning.

I had went downstairs to visit and entered to find Alexa filing her nails on the couch. The television was turned to the news. Which was stating the disappearance of mafia boss, 'Big Willie,' as he was called. I could care less. And the Joker had left to go take care of some business. I didn't go now a days, I guess I wasn't invited anymore. Which I was happy about. So I sat there watching Alexa file her nails and listening to her ramble. She was telling me how when she was little she took ballet. And one time, she had the lead part in one of their acts. She seemed so happy about this. And Eliza was sitting on the floor, mumbling to herself. Which was very annoying at the time. I felt so angry and so sad for her. The girl was so young, she didn't deserve any of this. And yet, she didn't do a thing to try and protect her self anymore. That made me angry. But I can't blame her for being too frightened to try to. Anyways, Alexa was going on and on about this recital. She was front and center, her solo approximately 1 minute and 14 seconds. The recital itself, 3 minutes and 53 seconds. Everyone in the back blended together doing some kind of French ballet move. And Eliza just kept mumbling. Alexa hated interruptions. 'What are you babbling about pansy?' Eliza was sobbing now, but took her time to turn around and face Alexa. 'If I could just jump then…' Alexa sighed really loud then. 'Listen Eliza. If you're going to kill yourself, do it now. Me and Em are tired of your crap!' I wanted to rip out Alexa's throat right then. Eliza looked ready to break. And she had no right to give me pet names.

That's when Eliza disappeared into the other room. You see, she did this all the time. To be by herself and away from Alexa. She disappeared on us. Cried. And then eventually came back. So we had expected this is what she was doing. It was about the time when Alexa got to the part, about her grand finale, did we hear a gun shot. It was deafening, because it was so close. I froze in horror. Alexa froze in curiosity. At the time, we both expected for there to be some intruder in the house. Someone after her or after me. Alexa got up first and rushed into the other room. Which I found out was actually a small, suffocating bedroom. With no door. And there laid Eliza's dead body. Blood gushing from her head, a gun in her hand. Alexa looked a little sad and yet relieved. And I hoped it was because poor Eliza wouldn't have to suffer anymore. That's why I felt relieved. But seeing her lifeless form; it scared me. For once I knew that death didn't come when it wasn't wanted. She did this herself. And although I cried for her, knowing she was so young, and the Joker drove her to this, I felt sick. How could anyone take away their own life? They must really be desperate.

I stood there for a while, looking at her now peaceful face. Then, after so long, I pulled a sheet from the bed, and draped it across her body. She was gone now. And then soon after, the Joker and his henchmen returned, ready to dispose of the body. I think the Joker made eye contact with me once. I could've sworn I'd seen something different in his eyes. Did he feel the same sickness from the thought of someone taking their own life away that I felt? I'm not sure. But after they left, I left too. I went to my bedroom, escorted by a huge tattooed guy. And I laid in my bed. Thinking of how Eliza actually killed herself. I thought she was stronger. Which brings me back to Eliza's death. The moment Alexa and I realized the reality of the situation. Alexa said, 'I knew it. She was weak, Emma. She's not strong like us.'

It was difficult to fall asleep at first, but after a while, I managed to. Sleeping felt like a relief. I think I started dreaming to. Of Eliza but somewhere else. It looked like the main lobby of my college. And Amanda wasn't there, but Lizzy was. Which was strange, the two definitely didn't know each other. I didn't exactly remember this dream, but I do remember it turned dramatically into a nightmare. Something horrible happened. And I heard screams. And then I woke up.

~Now~

I felt scared. My heart was racing as I started to remember things. Alexa, ballet, Eliza, blood, that sick feeling. It made me shudder. And then I felt a weight on my side. I twitched a little, moving my stiff muscles. Trying to take in what I was feeling. My hand moved up my side and I felt a arm, draped across my side. I stiffened, not knowing yet who it was. I didn't feel the familiar glove or jacket sleeve. Slowly, and carefully, I turned around. My eyes working hard to focus in the dark. The weight of this arm still on me. I turned carefully until I was finally on my other side. It took me a moment and then, a feeling of relief and horror. I was petrified to find myself in the same bed as the Joker. And relieved that it wasn't some henchmen of his trying to molest me in my sleep. He looked asleep. And so here is my chance to free myself from his grip. Maybe even sleep on the floor afterwards. I slowly grasped his arm, lifting it off of my hip and slowly pushed it back. Only to find his hand grasp around my arm. Damn it.

His eyes fluttered open, and a smile formed. "What are you doing?" I asked. I scooted away from him, but his hand was still on my arm. "Well, cupcake, I was sleeping." I stared a death stare at him. He laughed silently to himself. "Why in here?" He pretended to ponder this question for a moment then, " Because you're here Emma!" He laughed a little louder now. "Omigod! What did you do?" I screeched. His laughing stopped and just looked at me. "What?" My arms raced across my body. All my clothes were in tact. And nothing seemed o be harmed. "I'm not a whore Emma!" He giggled to himself again. "I'm sleeping on the floor!" I said, and then began to crawl away from him but his hand still held my arm down. "Nonsense Emma. This bed is big enough for the both us!" He laughed, wrapping his arm around the small of my back and pulling me against him. I winced when my face collided with his shirt. And felt him hold me against him, all the while laughing. My hands rejected him and tried to push me away from him, but his grip was too tight. And I was still too tired. I did all I could to resist. But finally, I fell asleep again. Pretty sure that I'd have nightmares.

~~~~Morning~~~~

My eyes slowly fluttered open. The sun was quite bright and it took a moment for my thoughts to gather. And my feelings. Like my legs, which were oddly placed. And my arms. And something solid against my face. Then it hit me. I blushed, my whole face was hot. I remembered having to sleep with the Joker. And I realized now, how careless I am in my sleep. My leg just happened to be wrapped around the Joker's waist. And an arm too. In a too fast reaction, I flung myself away from him. And with too much force, came crashing down onto the floor. Above me, I heard a roar of laughter. He was awake too. How embarrassing! The blankets still wrapped around me, I carefully ducked my head under them, trying to make this all go away. I could feel the new headache forming. There was a moment of silence, followed by foot steps. Followed by a sinister voice. "It's about time you woke up! I couldn't wait all day." I guess he's been awake a while now. Which only made me feel worse. I couldn't even sleep in peace now.

"I thought you could use a little excitement." the Joker said. Laughing while he walked about the room. I just kept the blankets over my head. "I have plans today. Me and you are going to have some fun." I closed my eyes. Just go away. Sleep, Emma. Sleep! Black out! Do something! Become a vegetable. Then there was a tug. And the blankets were off of me. The Joker walked over to the desk. I shut my eyes. I heard the drawers being opened and shut. Papers being passed about. A laugh or two. And then silence again. I peeked open an eye, enough for it to still look closed and yet enough to notice the Joker peering down at me, smiling. "If you fall asleep on me Emma…" he trailed off. And after a moment he said, "I'd love to hear from Ally." I opened my eyes quickly and sat up. "I knew that one would get ya!" He yelled, laughing. And then more thoughts began to flow in. Eliza's dead body. The gun. I wouldn't allow myself to process that she may have killed herself. I began to pretend that she was murdered. At least then it didn't seem so sick.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. Why can't Eliza have learned that?

Anyways, before I knew it, I was being forced to follow the Joker downstairs. And down the hall to a room I was certain I never have been in. But it looked just like the rest. It was black and grey, with a black couch and a white chair. And in the room was Alexa and two other men. One was the huge tattooed guy, the other was a short guy. He was little, not much taller than me. But he had scars visibly everywhere. And one eye. The other just sewn shut. It was quite creepy. I was petrified every time he looked over at me. And I knew we were all headed together somewhere. Oh joy. The Joker walked to the center of the room. He stood center, with his usual hunched posture. "Okay boys" and I heard Alexa clear her throat, " And girls. Today is a very special day." He paced across the floor, his hands behind his back, looking toward the floor. "A very special day." He repeated. What day is it anyway? That's a great question. Then he stopped and looked up at me. But not exactly at me, more like through me. He was concentrating on something. Then he licked his lips and faced the others. "How about making it an even 6 tonight boys?" The others smiled sharply. 6 what? And then the Joker clapped his hands together, walked past me and grabbed onto my wrist, pulling me out to the hallway again. The others were right behind us.

We went downstairs to the garage and waited for a moment. And then finally someone entered the garage in the Joker's usual van. He banged his hand on the hood and then opened the front door. Easily pulling out the driver, who landed with a thud. Everyone else piled in. I just stood there. I was definitely missing something. I heard the Joker honk the horn. "Get in Emma!" He screamed. Being the dumb mindless freak I am, I hopped right in. I mean of course I couldn't not get in. I would probably just get hurt for that. Or locked away in that dungeon of a room. And I couldn't run. I wasn't fast enough. So I just hopped in and the Joker seemed pleased. If one thing, I was glad to be leaving this awful place. Very glad.

We just drove in silence. Which was very odd. No one talked in the back. Which was hard to believe since Alexa was back there. And the Joker didn't laugh once. We just drove. I'm not sure where either. I know every mile we covered, got more and more deserted. I was quite worried. Six what? That's what I wanted to know. Finally we pulled into a rocky driveway that went a few hundred yards back before a rundown building began to show up. There were a few cars parked outside. All cheap and broken. And there seemed to be no lights on. But when the joker finally parked and cut off the engine, I could hear music playing. Loud, nasty rock music. Then I heard noise from the back of the van: guns being loaded. Things being tossed around. I gripped the edge of my seat. I was in no mood to witness someone else die. Then there was silence again. No one said a word. Just the sound of the faint music could be heard. "Let's have some fun." The Joker finally said, opening his door and sliding out. Then the back van doors opened and everyone else followed. And of course I just sat there. The Joker was standing by my window now, tapping on the glass. A huge smile plastered on his face. "Come one Emma. This'll be exciting!" He laughed against the glass and opened the door. I climbed out. The first thing that went through my head was, if I said anything or didn't come like he asked, he may make me participate. And I just didn't have that much left in me.

I walked behind the Joker. Afraid someone might attack. I was like his shadow and was probably well hidden when we finally entered the old house. The music was very loud and the room was lit in red lighting. A huge table was in the center, where about 10 guys were sitting. And about 4 girls, basically naked, were dancing on top. This is so degrading. But instead of the huge firepower attack I imagined, the guy at the head of the table smiled and through his cigar he shouted, "Hey J. What can I do for you?" It seemed as if everyone was having a good time. I hated how these guys were enjoying these girls. Which was when I noticed, only one was smiling. The others looked oddly afraid and very disgusted. The Joker made his way to the guy who spoke, me right behind him. He looked casually at the guy next to him and then ripped him from his seat. Everyone but the guy on the floor laughed. "It's great to see ya here buddy!" croaked the guy. "Same here, Slim." said the Joker. It was obviously a nickname. The guy was huge, had short, balding hair and yellow teeth. Probably from the cigar. "I didn't call you in, what brings ya here?" the man named Slim asked. "Just here for a little fun," The Joker added. Then Slim looked over at me, his eyes scanning my body. I could've puked.

"Can I have her?" asked Slim. The Joker smiled at him, "No." he said. "I'll give you a grand." he added, his eyes still on me. The Joker shook his head. "How about 5 then?" The Joker's smile had now faded and through his teeth he said, "She's not for sale." Slim reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me toward him. He was too strong to pull away from but very slow. "Get off of her Slim." the Joker said, in a more sinister tone. "She's a pretty one! You know how I like 'em J." But his damn hand remained on my arm. "How about a dance honey?" he asked me. I must've looked horrified because he then said, "There's nothing to be afraid of." I noticed now how the music was a little quieter. And the need to shout was unnecessary. "Get off of me!" I croaked. Using my other hand to tear at his. "Oh and she's feisty!" screeched Slim. Nasty pervert! He wouldn't let go! "Let go of her," the Joker said calmly. But if looks could kill, Slim would be dead. The Joker glared at him, but Slim shook it off as some joke.

He did let go. Thank god, and I shrunk back away from him. The Joker grabbed my waist and pulled me into his lap. I didn't dare move, but the heat of embarrassment washed over. I am not a toy. I sat on one leg while he leaned around me to face Slim. "So J, do you need me to take care of someone for ya? Cuz I don't need any help at the moment." The Joker shook his head, "Nope." Why were we here? Why was I here? Slim looked at me and then back at the Joker. "Is she a present?" he asked. "Not for you," replied the Joker. Slim finally put out his cigar. This whole place was smoky, it made my eyes sting. The music was over now, switching to another song. And the girls stopped dancing. One of which hung on the Joker's shoulder. With lust in her eyes. Skank. Whore. Prostitute. She was here because she wanted to be. Not because she had to. The other three girls were standing against the wall now, their heads down.

"So why ya here J?" Slim asked. The Joker closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then said, "Honest Slim?" Slim looked from me to him. Me, him, me, girl, him, me. "Honest J." said Slim. With that, the Joker stood up, while I landed roughly on to the floor. He walked to the center of the room, Alexa, and the other two right behind him. I quickly came to my feet and dusted myself off. And then a stubby, sweaty hand grabbed my wrist again. Slim no longer looked friendly. The Joker's eyes rush back and forth between me, Slim, and his hand. "Stop playing games, J." The Joker smiled. "Stop touching Emma, Slim." he said coldly. But Slim refused and instead he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him. He wreaked of cigars and sweat. "Why ya here J?" But there wasn't time for an answer. A gunshot rang out, and until I saw the blood dripping from Slim's head, I thought they had shot me. I ducked down and crawled under the table. Everyone was standing now, but it seemed Slim's henchmen weren't equipped to fight. And gun shots filled the air, like the music had only minutes earlier. I heard the shrieks of the girls and feet scrambling. I just remained under the table.

Covering my ears, I tried to ignore it all. If that were possible.

And then it got quiet. Too quiet. "That was easier than I had expected," said Alexa's little voice. "What to do with all this spare time?" the Joker said, as he pulled me out from my hiding place. I looked at the Joker's purple glove the whole time. I didn't dare sneak a peek around me. He was holding my hand. He walked and so I stumbled behind him. Then everyone stopped when they hard someone moan. It was the whore of course. I looked now to see her walk towards the Joker. Not even noticing me. Her hand rubbed up his chest, "That' was really sexy." she said, seductively. The Joker laughed, "Thanks." And pulled a knife out, that ripped across her throat. I knew I shouldn't have looked up. Why must I look up? The Joker pulled me outside, "It's always the whores." He said, laughing. In a way that I wasn't sure if he knew he was laughing at all. And then we headed back to his van.

Once we were on the road again, Alexa said, "6 down, 5 to go." I was guessing this had to do with the mafia we just destroyed. A little one at that. We were only there maybe an hour. My eyes and lungs were happy to be out of that house. The Joker had something in his hand while he was driving. It was small, and black. "Okay," he said, then slowed to a stop and turned to look at me. "This is for you Emma!" Then he stepped outside. Everyone did. I did. I heard a click and then, heard a boom. And above the trees was a black mushroom cloud of smoke. And random spots of fire. "Exciting isn't it?" he asked me, laughing. Then he grabbed my hand again, and we went…. back to his place.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

Another day, another memory. Ugh. I hate waking to an image of a dead body. It's not a pretty picture. And I especially hate waking up tied to a damn chair. You see, the Joker has gone utterly insane. And has decided that I need more "excitement" in my life. Or I'll go dull. So now, I awake to an insanely cold cement room. I don't remember ever coming here. And I'm not sure why I wasn't afraid right now. Probably because I was too depressed. I cry for every life I see being taken away. Sometimes I still do. Even for that Slim guy. But when I thought of Eliza, I completely lost all emotions. And wasn't completely shocked that my tears would dry. Anyways, this not being the point. I'm tied to a chair. And it's pretty much dark. I squirmed, trying to find a hence of living in this room. I wasn't alone. I could make out a figure along the right side of the wall. Where it was darkest. I felt a twinge in my neck and I remembered. The Joker drugged me. I passed out. He tied me up. I was too easy to mess with.

A quiet chuckle came from the figure. "Are you awake this time?" the Joker asked. This time? What? I coughed. My throat was suddenly very dry. He walked from the wall and came into visible light. I now realized the light was coming from the hanging lamp above my head. He had a knife in his hand. Twisting the blade in his fingers he said, " You've been looking awfully bored lately. That's not the Emma I know!" He chuckled and continued to walk around me. Out of sight, he spoke into my ear from behind me, "I'm here to cheer you up." Anger flicked through me and I tried to say, "Then let me leave." But the words were blocked by something over my mouth. Tape maybe? He then continued to walk around me, until he was standing in front of me. He pulled a chair out from no where and placed it in front of me and sat down. His hand wrapped around my jaw and he placed the knife on my cheek. "Why so serious?" he asked, laughter following his words. "Let me see you smile Emma." The blade was on the corner of my mouth. Okay, so I was afraid now. Who wouldn't be?

I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes. The blade slid from my face down to the center of my neck. A smile raising on the Joker's lips as he watched my horrific expression. I never imagined I would die, believe it or not. But I was sure I would bore the Joker eventually. But the blade left my skin. And the Joker grasped the side of the tape, and in one motion, ripped it from my lips. Painful enough for me to yelp. The Joker laughed. He stood up and placed his hands on my shoulders. Leaning in really close. Our noses touched. "Emma, you are so fun to play with!" He threw his head back in laughter, while shoving me, causing the chair to go falling backwards. I landed on the cement. Ouch. Another headache. I was sure I lost some math skills with that one. The Joker laughed and I heard his footsteps, and then I heard an odd jingling noise. "I got you a little gift Emma!" He sang in laughter. His footsteps got closer and then his boot landed between my legs, causing the chair to fly up in it's upright position. My hair whip lashed my face. I heard him laugh again. He took his place in front of me, pulling my chair closer so our legs intertwined with each others. His hands flick around my neck.

It was a necklace. Well I shouldn't call it a necklace. It was coarse, like rope almost. But not exactly. And it had a metal loop attached to it, which a metal circle hung from. I touched the thing around my neck and then gasped in horror. "You got me a dog collar!" I screamed at him. He started laughing. "Yes, my pet." And then his face got sincere, "Don't you like it?" I gazed angrily at him. I was no pet! Or a toy! I belonged to no one. His hand tugged at the collar. "Nice fit!" he screeched again in laughter. I bit my lip. "You're a monster!" I yelled. He stopped laughing and at stared at me. "We're two clowns short of a circus aren't we?" And he continued to laugh. It seemed like it was impossible to make him angry. "I even bought you a leash! When you don't behave!" He couldn't stop laughing. And I started crying. In embarrassment. Humiliation. Weakness. Even fear maybe?

And then his laughing stopped. "It was a joke, Emma! Laugh!" he yelled at me. Then stood up and walked across the room. I no longer cared what he did. I just sat there and cried. I was so helpless wasn't I? I didn't want to admit it, but I couldn't deny it either. He had some unbreakable hold on me. One I couldn't quite grasp. I was sure it was my fear he held on to. Making me do what he wanted. But there was something else. Even I knew I was different to him. He was hunched over another scrappy looking metal table. Looking at something. His hands were gripping the table. And then he slid one hand into his purple coat pocket. He gazed around the room. And caught sight of the shelves I didn't no were there. He walked over there. I squirmed in my chair. What an odd time to have to go to the bathroom. He grabbed something red. And brought it close to his face. A rose. What was it with the roses? I mean really? A fresh rose was in every room. Everyday. Not one time did I catch one weeping. He twirled the rose in his hand and then looked over at me.

"You're tears disgust me," he said. How strange, I thought he enjoyed them. Or maybe it's just the fear he enjoys. He set the rose down and walked over. Taking his seat yet again in front of me. Why did I have on blue shorts? Nothing I wore was colorful. I did not think how these shorts got on me. The Joker lifted my face with his hand. And he studied my eyes. I couldn't keep a straight stare. It felt too strange. I glanced back between his eyes, his coal black eyes as they seemed, and the rose resting on the bottom shelf. The tears had stopped, but the fear was still there. And then he threw my face to the side, sending me off balance and on to the floor. "Damn it!" he shouted. I heard a crashing sound. He knocked over a small table I hadn't seen there before. Was I missing something here?

I heard the door open and then shut. The noise echoing through the little room. It was quiet. The ringing in my ears was intense after only a few seconds. I laid on my side, face to face with the floor. I could see light coming through at the bottom of the door. Every once in a while, the sound of faint footsteps and shadows pacing the door. The floor was eerie and cold. And it was giving me a more intensified headache. I wiggled my fingers. My wrist were tied down to the arms of the chair. Legs tied to the legs of the chair. I tried to untie the knots with my fingers and failed miserably. It was too quiet. I could hear my own heartbeat. And for some odd reason, I got really frightened. I hated being alone. I always have. But in complete silence and almost sheer darkness. I was too aware of the cold draft against my bare legs. Why was I wearing blue shorts?

Stupid chair. This is not a way to bring excitement in my life. I laid there, motionless. In pure silence, watching the flickers of light and shadow beneath the door. And I counted my blessings. I really was lucky to be alive. Those people at the party? Dead. Amanda and Sean? Dead. The one's at the bank? Dead. Eliza? Dead. The mafia? Dead. It was eerie to think of them. They haunted me now. I knew I shouldn't be alive. If it weren't for me, they'd be alive. I could almost hear Amanda now. Those last screams. A heat of anger spread through me. I clenched my hands into fist. And rubbed my wrist and legs against the rope, trying to break through. But it was no use. And in seconds, I was tired. My anger faded with my energy. And the tears came. I let myself drown in them. They seemed like an endless chain. And then… a loud creaking noise. I really had to use the bathroom.

A bright stream of light.  
>A purple suit.<br>A knife.

I was upright again. The Joker eased the knife between me and the rope, cutting me free at last. This place was a nightmare. I wanted out. And as soon as he cut the ropes from my legs, I scurried out of the room. Into another unpleasant one. The garage. The light was very bright. It hurt my eyes. I squeezed them shut and the Joker grabbed my hand, leading me upstairs I assumed. It was weird. I kept my eyes shut. And hardly stumbled once. I knew my way up and down these steps already. Just like home. Except this was more like prison. Up to the second floor now. Stepstepstepstepstep turn right. Stepstepstepstepstep, turn right. Then left through the door. I finally opened my eyes. Damn, I was right. We walked slowly back to my room. And entered. The Joker walked over to the desk. The one with the pictures and articles and- I stood there at first. He was mumbling to himself. Hunched over pictures and papers. Saying things I didn't comprehend. I think he's better off left alone.

I snuck off to the bathroom. A shower would ease the chill from my bones. I would relax a little more. Maybe even forgive myself some too. And hopefully, the Joker would be gone.

~~  
>Showers always seem to lift the weight from my shoulders. Even for only a few minutes. And just my luck, the Joker was gone. The white room was empty. All but me and the red rose. Sometimes I found it quite mad that I enjoyed myself here. Not quite enjoyed, but I relaxed. And my troubled mind was at ease. I sat up on the bed. A pillow behind my back. My wet hair fell hopelessly around my face. I touched the soft yet uneven ends. My hair was much shorter. At least five inches shorter now. And then a realization came to mind. The Joker had me tied to that chair. He had his knife. He was going to deliberately hurt me. That's why I was there. And yet I only left with a major headache. And the ache of having to pee. And why did he get upset when he looked at me? I wasn't sure.<p>

I sat there, playing with my hair as I tried to come up with reasons. Reasons that didn't seem to make sense, about all of this. One reason could be; I have truly lost the will to be afraid and the Joker realized this. He did enjoy it when I was frightened to death. Another? Maybe he realized something himself. And it really pissed him off. You know what? Why should I care? He's a freak anyways. He makes no sense. He is nothing to this world. He shouldn't be alive. And then I wondered. Would I cry if the Joker died? Like I did for all the people who died? Even Slim. I was sure I wouldn't. I might laugh though. But a feeling rose inside me and I denied the thought that I could be wrong.

So I sat in silence for a while. Just staring across the room at the door. Thinking. I remembered how Ally was so successful in life. And I got so jealous. And so I went to college. And I didn't want to marry my fiancé anymore, so I went to college in Paris. I was running away from everything. What was it that I wanted exactly? I knew I always wanted to grow up, have a job I was passionate for, someone I was madly in love with, and have a family. Yet every time I got close to something I wanted. I ran away. I was a freak too.

Wow. I suddenly felt the urge to cry. And didn't realize I was at first. I ruined my life. I fell in love with a wonderful man, who did all he could to please me and keep me happy and I ran from him. What more could I ask for? I blew it. I sobbed for a while longer. Then, the tears dried up. Because I heard a noise. Really loud footsteps pounding down the hallway. I didn't no who to expect. Well I expected the Joker, but it wasn't him. All of a sudden the door flung open. And in came this short mad woman. Alexa. She stomped over to my bed side. "You oh me big time!" she screamed in my face. I winced. "What the hell are you talking about Alexa?" I screamed back, although my voice was no where near as intimidating. She huffed in front of me. Her small hands clenched in fists. "I just saved your little ass!" she screamed. And then the anger flushed away, and tears came from her eyes. "What do you mean?" She looked up at me. "I'm as good as dead now." She was crying and now took a seat next to me. I suddenly felt sympathy for Alexa. Although I knew she didn't like me, I knew she didn't hate me either. I sat up closer to her.

"Alexa, you're not making any sense," I said. She sniffed and looked over at me. Her eyes still wet. Tears streaked her face and her make up was smeared. "This was my room," she said. Staring down at the floor. Thinking of something other than the soft white carpet. She grabbed the blanket. "This was my room. I was here. Not you. But once you came along….I was dropped like a rock!" she said. Tears kept falling from her eyes. I stared at her in confusion. Her eyes remained on the floor. "I thought it was love," she said. I felt my stomach drop. Her in love with….. with him? Yikes. "But now you…" she shook her head. And wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. She then took a deep breath, "You wanna go home right?" She asked, finally meeting my gaze. That was hard to answer, but I nodded my head anyways. "Then this may work out for both of us." She got up and walked to the door. "What will?" I asked. She sighed, "I ratted us out. Police should be here any minute."

The sirens shocked me. She did call. And the Joker was in my room, staring at me. His eyes filled with anger. A knife in his hand. He had me pinned against the door. "Emma, did you do this?" He asked casually, staring at the knife. "No," I whispered, He laughed a little and then looked at me, "Don't lie Emma!" He screamed at me. I shook my head. Tears were falling yet again. "I didn't…" The Joker sighed and looked at me. I heard a clank. He dropped the knife. He now rested one hand on the door, next to my face. He looked down, "Better cry now. Someone's going to die." He looked at me. He wasn't going to kill me was he? Maybe. He stayed staring at me. Once again I couldn't manage looking him in the eyes, I glanced at the rose in the vase. He sighed in frustration. There it goes again. That odd feeling. Him angry for no reason at all. He clanked foreheads with me. Shoving my head against the door. "Time for a small vacation Emma." He said. I could now hear the police downstairs, raiding the apartment. He chuckled. "Don't worry, we'll be together soon enough!" He laughed harshly and then shoved me away from the door. I landed hard and watched him leave the room. Laughter was muffled through the door and I heard him shout, "Now lets have some fun!" I still had my necklace on.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

~ ~ 2 weeks later ~ ~

"Okay Emma," Ally said loudly. Sighing as she flopped onto my bed. I would not let her borrow my car. Who cares how much gas prices were? At least Ally acted like things were normal since she's visited. We had one shaky moment then the next day, BAM! And she was back to shoving everything in my face. And back to bribing favors out of me. She twisted her hair in her fingers. I heard a little voice from behind me, "Aunt Emmmma, willya put my hair up for me?" asked little Lindsey. Her little blonde curls dropped passed her shoulders. She held a hair scrunchie up to me. She much preferred it when I put her hair up. Mommy wasn't gentle. I was soft headed and when I was little, only Daddy could brush mine. I sat on the edge of my bed. Blue pillows, blue sheets, brown blanket. Blue walls. Blue curtains. Brown Venetian blinds. See the theme here? No white what so ever. Except the few white shelves. I got rid of my roses. The moment I got home, I tore out my rose bushes I planted when I was 16. Roses were my favorite. I'm sure the Joker knew this. And I couldn't stand the sight of them. So two weeks? That's right. It has been pretty awkward around my parents. Just like I thought. Like I was brain dead or something. And they treated me like I'd be gone tomorrow. Which could be true. But…

I twisted the hair tie around her hair for the last time. And she bounced up and down., "Look Mumma Wook!" She started giggling and then raced from the room. Greg was out on business and Ally had took almost a whole month off to spend time with me. Yeah, that's how much her work loved her. She could take three months off. She was like a queen to them. I laid back over Ally's feet and I heard her grunt. She flew a plane out to see me and took a cab here. She didn't have a car. She twisted underneath me to be laying away from me. Her arms crossed over her chest. At least she could lay on my bed. I don't know why but I just couldn't. Instead I laid out on the couch every night. No one dared to ask why. I was glad to be home. I was. And I owed Alexa big time. If she was even alive…. Wow. I didn't think of any of…them….. until now. I shuddered at the thought.

"What's wrong?" asked Ally. Suddenly sitting up. "Un nothing, "I said, distracting myself, "It's your disgusting shoes on my bed. I have to sleep there you know!" I hissed at her and she glared at me. "You sleep on the couch, Emma." I stuck my tongue out at her. That's right. I went there. I felt so childish. Then I tried to normal things out. "Where's Miranda?" I asked her. Her glare softened. "She's school shopping with Mom." Oh yeah, I remembered. It's August now. I was away for about two months. "Oh, why didn't Lindsey go? She's starting kindergarten right?" "Yup, she went yesterday, remember?" I nodded my head, even though I didn't really. The bed shook as Ally flopped back down on to my bed. I gazed over at my jewelry box. I've been gone for four years and Mom still hasn't changed a thing. The jewelry box. I just had to remember the day I came home.

The police had took me to the GPD, and had called the hospitals. I had screamed my head off and demanded I was taken home immediately. I didn't want to go to a hospital. I didn't need to. Then they called Mom and Dad and had asked if I should go home or be taken to the nearest crazy asylum or something like that. Luckily, they agreed to take me home. So the police paid for my plane ride home to Oklahoma. And I was finally home. My parents slowly walked out to see me, like I might attack them or something. But I sobbed and hugged them and told them how much I loved them. They told me the same thing. And that was that. And two days later it happened again with Ally. But the moment I walked into my room, I ripped of my necklace or dog collar. But I didn't throw it away. I locked it in my jewelry box. It's been there since.

Mom and Dad still treat me like I'm psycho. Which I'm not. But Ally and her girls, I was back to being my old self. That's why I was secretly glad I hardly ran into Mom and Dad. I heard Ally mumbling to herself. And I began to come back to my own world. And realized, she was talking to me, " she cried so much yesterday after I told her that. And Miranda just kept saying, 'all the first graders are going to pick on you.' But that won't happen. You and I both know how headstrong little Lindsey is. I wouldn't be surprised if she accidentally kicked some first grader's ass." She laughed. I laughed too. "So when do they start school?" I asked. "The 26th." I nodded. Then she rolled over onto her side, looking at me. "Are you going back to school?" I thought for a moment, "I don't know. Maybe," I said. Mom lightly knocked on the door, and then opened it and stepped in. I guess they're back already.

"Hi girls," she said, very lightly and all the while staring at me, "Emma, honey, you got a letter in the mail." She held it up. I signaled with my hand for her to come over. "Who's it form?" I asked. She shook her head, "I'm not so sure. Probably a worried friend from college. Hopefully." She handed it over to me. The envelope was red. And there was no return address. Ally, being the nosy person she is, hovered over my shoulder, trying to reach for it. "Thanks," I said to Mom. And then she left the room. "Open it!" Ally said eagerly, after Mom left. I sighed. Not another one. I have gotten so many letters lately, from all kinds of unknown addresses. Telling me to 'Get Better,' or to 'Join Our Healing Program.' Stupid solicitors. I don't need their sympathy. "It's probably another worthless advertisement. Why am I so famous all of a sudden?" Ally chuckled, "Because you're crazy!" She laughed again. I shook it off. I am not! I slid the letter into the top drawer of my desk. "Oh shit," said Ally, looking at the time.

"What?" I asked. Ally shot up from the bed and scurried around the room. Finding her purse. "Greg is coming to visit. He'll be waiting at the airport at 3." She said. Smooth. It was 2:57 and the airport is at least forty-five minutes away from here. I giggled and got my keys from my desk. "Here," I said. I handed her the keys. She gave me an I-Owe-You look and then ran from the room. My car could go fast on highways. And now I was alone. Ugh. I hated being alone. I looked over at the top drawer. That letter. I knew what it was. I did. My hand opened the drawer and I peered at the red letter. My fingertips brushed it. No, not now. I slammed the drawer shut.

Next I was running downstairs, skipping two steps at a time. I told everyone that everything would be okay for now. That the Joker was gone. I lied so much. I skidded to a stop and then left turned into the kitchen. Momma baking cookies? How granny-ish can she get. She's only 47. 19 when she had Ally. She had an apron on, too. Eek. I slid into one of the seats at the small dining table. Now only enough room for two people. Mother turned around and nearly dropped the milk carton. Her hand at her chest, surprised eyes on me. Then she relaxed. "Emeralda! Since when did you get to be so sneaky?" she asked. I didn't answer. "Sorry Mom," was all I said. She smiled sweetly at me. Where was the sarcasm? She was always sarcastic to me. I hated how I felt around her. Like she looked at me like I wasn't really her daughter anymore. I know that sounds cold, she loves me so much, but when she looks at me, it's like she's only seeing half of me.

"What are you making for dinner tonight?" I asked. "It's already done. Lasagna." she said, "And chocolate chip cookies for desert." They smelled so good. I felt like being a little kid again and spoiling my dinner with cookies. I licked my lips. Mom proceeded around the kitchen. It felt awkward. It really did. I watched her for the next few minutes. She scrubbed madly at the same plate for about ten minutes until the timer went off and it was time to take out the cookies. That made me a little mad. Why couldn't she look at me? Dad could. It wasn't awkward with him anymore. And it never was with Ally. And Miranda and Lindsey never knew I went missing. She took out the trey and placed them on the counter. Using her oven mitt to shake the steam away. Boy did they smell good. I sat at the table and finally, Mom had no choice but to join me.

Awkward silence. Awkward staring. What did she see when she looked at me? "When is Dad coming home?" I asked. "He gets off at six Emma, like always," she said. I wish someone else was home. I didn't like this at all. I felt like crying. I felt like having Mommy holding me while I soaked her shoulder with tears. While I sucked on the end of my pony tail. And cried until I could get cookies before dinner. I wanted things to be the same as they were fifteen years ago. This house, this stupid house, brought back all my childhood memories. When I was normal. Or at least I had thought I was then. Maybe not. I didn't know anything anymore. Just that my own mother looked at me like I was a distant cousin she hadn't seen in years, which she was never really fond of. A distant cousin who was kidnapped by a serial killer clown.

I slammed my fist on the table. And then rested my head on it. And began crying. I heard my mom get up. "Wha-what's wrong Emma?" she asked. I looked up at her. She was standing away from me. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you!" I pointed at her. The tears streaming down my face. She gave me a confused look, "What are you talking about

Emma?" "You know damn well what I am talking about Mother!" I yelled at her. She seemed scared almost. "You look at me like I'm some psychopath!" I accused. Her eyes softened and she took her seat back in front of me. "I don't think that," she said calmly. "Then what is it Mom?" I said. She looked at me, turned to get a cloth, and handed it to me. I wiped my face dry with it. "Emma, honey. You were kidnapped. My baby was kidnapped. When I look at you, I see all the damage that happened to you. Part of my little Emma was left behind in Gotham. Never to return," she said. She was crying now too. I slid the cloth over to her. "I'm s-sorry," she managed to say through muffled sobs. I walked over to her and hugged her. I guess she was right. Part of me was left in Gotham. But not because of the reasons she thinks. I sighed.

What had the Joker said? 'I can't live without you, you can't live without me.' Which I knew I could. But after what he had done to me. I knew I couldn't stay home. No matter how much I wanted to.

Greg looked so much different. It's the whole 'daddy' thing I bet. He had a light beard now. The same brown as his hair. And a mustache. He used to be cleanly shaven. And very fit. I could see a gut forming on him. Definitely the 'daddy' type. And the girls hung all over him. Lindsey practically holding his hand wherever he went. Miranda showed him all of her school clothes. I noticed my sister then too. Ally, who used to be the cutesy blond, and the hot husband. She now wore glasses, instead of contacts, and she had that 'mom' look about her. And, my favorite, her hair was its natural brown now. I preferred them this way.

I felt so happy at the dinner table. Dad sat at the end. Next to Miranda and Lindsey. Lindsey by her dad, and Miranda by her mom. Me by Ally. And Mom by Greg. One big happy family. Plates clicked and bowls were passed. A traditional Thompson family dinner. Well, Thompson -Polly. Greg was here now. I always adored Mom's lasagna, but today it wasn't quite right. Like the noodles were hard or the cheese was low-fat or something. It didn't taste quite right. Maybe it's because my mind was poisoned.

Chocolate chip cookies? My once fave? Them too.

I sat dumbly while everyone else had desert. Greg talked about the upcoming vacation before school started. The girls and them were going to Disney World. I've never been. But the girl's faces lit up. They were so excited. I wanted to cry. If I waited any longer, he'd come after me. And my family. So I just sat there and listened. And enjoyed. And acted normal. And everyone, including Mom, acted normal, too. This was the least I could do before leaving.

"Isn't that right Emma?" Asked Ally. I stared at her. "What?" Ally sighed. "That life is so much easier when you're little. Greg doesn't believe it! He says we spoil the kids!" Ally acted mad, but I could see how deep her love for Greg was. They both chuckled. And then Miranda burst into laughter. Mashed potatoes were on Greg's face. Everyone laughed. Could this moment be any more perfect? Mom was up and collecting dishes. Greg offered to help but Mom insisted they sit and talk. And Dad ate more cookies. Finishing the plateful. Miranda was now walking about and I noticed how peacefully Lindsey sat upon Greg's lap. And suddenly I felt so out of place. I sighed and no one seemed to notice. Good. I excused myself from the table and headed upstairs. Sulking slowly up the steps.

I could feel the letter. Burning its way through my desk drawer. I twisted the door knob and opened the door. My room was ghostly all of a sudden. Dark and shadowed. My bed looked grim. The desk seemed to be on fire. I walked over to it and slowly pulled out the letter. I pried open the corners, taking my sweet time with opening it. I could see the rim of a white letter. Or card. It was harder than paper. I sighed and slipped it out from the envelope. The front of it read 'Emma Thompson.' I froze, not wanting to open it all the way. My thumbs rested inside the crease of the card. What deadly note would be left inside? Or message? I would miss everyone. But going away would be best. I'm like some virus. And if I stay too long, others might get hurt too. I opened the card up. The top line was 'Dear Emma,'

_ "Dear Emma,_  
><em>I am so worried about you. Your mother told me everything. About the kidnapping and such. I'm glad to hear you made it through strong. That's the Emma I've always known. Just call if you ever need anything. Money, guidance, anything. I mean it! You should come visit me when ever you feel up to it. It's never a burden and you know that! I'm looking forward to seeing you whenever, Emma. Please call me when you find the time. We should talk. And if you want, maybe you could visit and we could do lunch and a movie or something. Or vice versa. But Atlanta is a little bland. I love you forever and always Emma.<em>

_Aunt Maria._"

I could have had a heart attack. I clenched the card. Butterflies rose up in my stomach. It was just Aunt Maria! Mom's sis. Mom's Ally. Aunt Maria. The chick I always had a great time with. And to think I might have thought this was a death note. But I knew the truth. I couldn't see Aunt Maria again. No one else ever again, if I wanted them to be safe.

And then ironically, a phone call.  
>My death telegram.<p>

A voice said he was here. He was coming. And he'd find me. See how well I can predict the future?


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

I stood, fists clenched, great fighting stance, and a death stare. This was no time to break. I looked back into the cold dark eyes. Somewhere in my head, I have memorized them. His stare was deadly. I'm sure mine were a mirror reflection. Another person died because of me. I stood in the small bank off of St. Rt. 51. It was cold in here. The Joker leaned gracefully against the wall. Not taking his eyes off of me. All of the workers were locked somewhere down stairs, in the basement. This frightened woman who was forced to call me, with the time and place, lay dead in the main room. My breathing had quickened. I could've passed out. I would have too, if it weren't for the fact that I was so mad. "How could you!" I screamed. Finally breaking the silence.

"You made her call me? You still killed her?" I took a moment to catch my breath and collect myself. "You might as well have come to my house. Met the family and all!" I screamed again. The Joker stood, watched, and every once in a while, smiled. "WHY!" I was so angry. I knew it was inevitable. That he'd come for me. But why? Why must he? "Why…" I asked. I was losing all of it. The anger seeping away and grief filled in its place. Tears began to slide down my cheeks. "I need you Emma…" Was all he said. Smiling. And there was a bit venom left in me. I slammed my hands against his chest, trying hard to push him through the wall. Which wasn't happening. I was sobbing now. All out blubbering. The kind where you took those deep, raggedy breaths in between each whimper. The truth was rising put I tried my hardest to shove it away.

I heard him laugh. "You're so pathetic!" He screeched. I looked up at him. His eyes empty. "I'm pathetic? You're pathetic!" I screamed back. "You're the one dressed in a clown costume telling me you need me!" I laughed hysterically. In between sobs. Broken. I fell from my stance. Now on my knees. My palms shoved into my eyes as I cried. My life was ruined. I stumbled over, sitting against the wall. The blubbering had stopped. And it turned into plain old crying. My eyes were probably swollen and red. And the Joker sat down beside me. I didn't turn to look at him. He just sat there. For once, it was silent.

But, I was still hopeful. Even though my hope has obviously been shot to hell. I got up and headed to the door, determined to exit this small office room. But an iron grip grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back. I reached into my jean pocket. Grasping and holding on to it. "Where do you think you're going my pet?" He asked. A cackle of laughter added in his question. He turned me around so I could face him. My hand remained clenched in my pocket. His eyes were hard and empty. But his make up looked new. Special occasion? I laughed a little to myself. Same old purple suit. I could see his green waist coat. I refused to look him in the eyes. It didn't feel right.

"Shall we go home?" He asked me, chuckling. The anger was rising yet again. "Thanks to you, I have no home!" I yelled, finally looking up at him. His hands grabbed my face, so I remained looking at him. "You're welcome, cupcake!" He laughed and shoved me away from him. I stumbled a bit, only a few steps back. We both stared at each other. Same deadly stares. He licked his lips, and acted as if he was going to speak, and then changed his mind. "I hate you..' I said. I looked down. But he was in front of me. His hands hard against my shoulders. "I hate liars!" He yelled.

And why must I kiss him? Only God knows why. There is something truly wrong with me.

We kissed. I'm not so sure how it happened, but it did. And it was nothing like it should've been. I felt like letting go. Like letting everything go and walking away. For once, something felt right. Which scared me. Like I had said before, I've always ran away from what I really want.

I pushed him away and stepped back. "I hate liars too." I said. I pulled my hand from my pocket. Niagara falls once again as I began silently crying. The Joker stared at my hand. And I dropped the dog collar. That idiot thing I couldn't throw away. "Emma! You do care!" He said, clapping his hands. Then he too pulled something out of his inside jacket pocket. I froze. "Sorry, love, I know these things scare you!" He laughed and jabbed the needle into my neck before I had the chance to react. Before I knew it, I was falling and hitting the floor. Which didn't hurt. Things started getting fuzzy and I saw a purple glove, picking up my necklace. I heard a laugh. I was picked up and then the darkness overcame everything.

Of course I can't be alone in the dark. Two hands were shaking my shoulders. I refused to open my eyes. "WAKE UP EMMA!" Such a high, squeaky voice. It wasn't right. "Emma…." The voice was growing a little impatient. I opened my eyes, no need to get physical. Alexa? "Emma! Finally! You've been out for hours." Alexa sighed and sat next to me. Pain shot through me as my eyes traced over the white walls, white blankets…. "What are you doing here Alexa?" I was actually pleasantly surprised to find that she was alive. "Good question." She smirked and reached into her hoodie's pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. She brought out one cigarette and put it to her lips. Then grabbed a lighter. My hand shot up and stole the cigarette from her. "I hate smoking!" I said. "So does the Joker," she said, rolling her eyes. But she took back the cigarette and put it away.

"Sorry you had to come back. But I did miss the company. These guys can be so boring!" she said. She leaned back on one arm. Alexa missed me? Well, I did miss her. Even though she was rotten. And snobby. At least she kept me going. She laughed, "Wow, when you were gone!" she giggled again. "What?" I questioned. She looked past me, and at the wall. "I have never seen this place more of a mad house than it was when you left." She said. "I can't believe the cops aren't here still," I said, breaking the tension I could feel building. "Oh, yeah. They expected us to move!" She burst out laughing. "They're looking for us in all kinds of places." She chuckled lightly to herself. And then looked at me. "You are something," she said, shaking her head. And then she hopped off the bed.

I looked at the side wall. And smirked at the white rose in its vase. I hated white roses. I really did.

I sat up in bed. Alexa was walking around. I don't know why. She seemed to be thinking hard. "Did you know Emma that I was pregnant?" I froze. She was? With whose baby? She looked over at me. "Well, I was." "When?" I asked. "When I was fifteen. I was madly in love, but foolish. And Daniel knocked me up. I was so happy then. I'd be starting a family, at such a young age. But Daniel was killed." She froze and looked away from me and at the white rose. Then she started walking again. "He wasn't exactly a role model. Into drugs and things like that. And I was the good girl. Well, something happened. I think he stole some drugs or forgot to pay them off. And some gang came to his house and murdered him." I could tell she was fighting back the tears. She inhaled deeply. "He said, 'Alexa, I'm done with this. For now on, it's just you, me, and the baby.' And he was murdered."

I waited for her to continue. She was leaning up against the door and looking at the floor. A minute rolled by. Just silence. I was sure she didn't want to say anything else. "I had Mikey. About a week before I turned sixteen. Gave him to mom, and went into this." She motioned with her hands to everything around her. "It wasn't until I was 20 did I join this group. After everything the Joker was doing, I was ready to leave the next day. But he threatened that if I didn't stay, he'd kill Mikey." She shook her head in disgust. "You know I haven't seen my baby in 5 years! Not since the day he was born. But I love that kid. My kid…" It was obvious now that she was crying. She slowly walked to the end of my bed and sat there. Her sobbing began to get noisy. I felt so sorry for her. I crawled up beside her, debating whether or not to hug her. "I know Emma. I know what it's like to want to protect the ones you love. You came back for the same reasons I stayed." And she turned to look at me. I hugged her tightly.

She didn't know.  
>I wanted my family safe.<br>But she didn't know the truth.

We stayed like that for ever, as it seemed. Holding each other. Alexa was crying her eyes out. Mumbling to herself. I heard things like, Mikey, mean, want. I never seen Alexa so weak. She was usually the one up and ready to take on death himself. Now I knew. She could care less whether or not she died. As long as Mikey was okay. And all along I had just thought she was crazy. Never judge a book by its cover. It should be a law. She stayed huddled. For once, I felt like someone needed me. Like Alexa was 'little Alexie.' Everyone needs someone. Isn't that a scientific fact? I replayed these thoughts over and over again. And started switching between Alexa to the Joker. I couldn't ever imagine the Joker actually needing someone. It didn't seem possible. But it is a fact. And then Alexa finally gathered herself and stood up from my bed.

Like a two year old, she used her arms to wipe the tears away. "You tell anyone of this and I'll kill you!" She said. I smiled at her. Alexie was out the window and falling three stories. Alexa was back. She smiled back, but left the room. Even I could feel the awkwardness. Once again I found the bitter sting of loneliness quite annoying. And the white rose was hideous. I walked over to it and plucked it from its vase. White roses aren't worth the time. And plus, they brown too fast. Which is what this one was doing. Browned edges and weeping. I walked over to my window and opened it the whole two inches. And slowly, I plucked the petals from it, and watched as they drifted slowly to the ground. I hated myself for not saying goodbye. I just left. Not even a note.

Childhood games are fun. He loves…he loves me not…..he loves me… The petals fell in the wind. It was almost a Kodak moment. He loves me….he loves me not … he loves me…. I was losing petals. This wouldn't take long. He loves me not….he loves me…. Ugh. I looked at the empty stem and laughed. Dropping it into the wind, I said out loud, "He loves me not!" I clapped my hands, pretending to wipe the dust from them. I spun around. Looked. And spun around again. Facing the window, and blushing. How much of that did he see? Why must I think aloud with things like that!

I faced the window still. Breathe in the oxygen, Emma. Maybe you were just seeing things. "You really are bored." said the Joker. I cringed. Dang it. I turned around slowly, hoping the cold wind had moved the blush from my cheeks. I looked at him as intensely he looked at me. He cocked his head to the side, his neck cracked and then he smirked at me. Ew. What a horrible sound. His hands were in his pockets and he just stared at me. Which was better than anything else. And then he slowly moved towards me. And I backed into the wall. Dang, another headache. "I don't bite Emma!" he said laughing. But he remained in one spot. "Leave me alone…" I said, too quietly. He heard it though. "What was that?" he asked, holding a purple glove behind his hear, "I can't hear you." He smirked. "I said leave me alone." I said. Now making my voice even with his. "I'd rather not," he said. And then he walked towards me.

"I can read it in your eyes Emma…" he said, standing inches before me. "It's there. And you hide it badly!" He laughed and grabbed my wrist. "How about a road trip?" He asked. We were walking towards the door. I ripped my wrist from his grip. He seemed stunned, although he wasn't, when he turned around to look at me. His eyebrows were raised, his eyes were full. "We could do this the fun way." He said, slowly pulling out a knife from his pocket. When he seen the look on my face, he smiled. "That's what I thought."

How I wished I never had to enter this damn garage again. It was too horrific, too disturbing. All I saw was Amanda. Dark blood stained the concrete, almost everywhere. I didn't dare look towards the far wall, where Amanda used to be. I walked, just as mindlessly as always, to the van. And got in passenger. Only then did I seem surprised. No one else was seated in the back. It was just me and the Joker.

He started up the van and began to drive. Down the usual long, narrow, gravel road through the forest. I could hear music. Faint but it was there. Another woman's voice sang. It made me sick. I concentrated on all the trees that passed by. And then all of the shops that passed by. And the buildings. And then condos. And then houses. Two story, then one story. Then trees again. And I noticed us going up hill. I hated car drives. At least my ears weren't ringing. Everything was quiet. Just the muffled noises coming from the engine. The quiet was eerie. Where were we going? Curiosity began to burn the back of my mind. I watched as the trees became more distant from the road. And began to space farther from each other. The trees also got bigger. Not like the small city trees.

And then we went up a very narrow road, twisting like crazy. I held on, afraid we might flip. But why should I care? I began to worry too. We were too far from anyone. A well planned out murder could pass by unknown in a place like this. And then that road got flatter. And we turned somewhere. I could see something. Buildings in the distance. And the brakes were slammed hard. I flew into the dashboard. Another tip: Always where your seat belt. Especially when riding with an insane psychopath. He laughed at my stupidity and climbed out of the driver's seat. I exited the van too. Cold air hit me like a brick wall. It was very chilly. And windy. My hair fluttered recklessly in all directions. I laughed. So did the Joker's. I walked fast and passed him. I could barely make out shapes in the horizon. I rushed through tall pine and oak trees. And almost died when I reached a drop off.

Wow. I could see the whole city from up here. I looked around me. No Joker. I looked ahead. It was beautiful. Sun just setting and the skyline of Gotham was both eerie and lovely. Ugh. Why would he take me here? Flying lessons maybe? I looked down. There was at least a twenty foot narrow drop that reached a rocky bottom. Which was at least another thousand feet from the actual ground. A very steep slope indeed. It was so exhilarating. The height, the scenery, the setting. It was all Kodak worthy. I sighed. This would be twice as beautiful if it weren't for the fact that my life was ruined. Because of my disturbing soul and its needs. I looked around in front of me. I could see that Gotham was almost hidden in complete woods. Like a small village or something. Except that it was miles wide and miles long and filled with alleyways and old banks. And factories that polluted the sky. Which was a cotton candy pink, purple, and yellow.

I heard branches crack. A perfect moment gone suddenly wrong. The Joker stood beside me. He reached out his hand and motioned to the city before us. "This is where I plan everything," he said. I could hear the smile on his lips. "Why'd you bring me here?" I asked, coldly. He turned to look at me. "Don't you like it?" I gazed at him, "I loved it until you came along!' I hissed. He smiled and then looked back at the city, "This is my city Emma." He said, just as coldly as I did. "And it's yours too." I froze. No no no! Enough with this crap already. Everything that didn't make sense. I couldn't take it! "What?" I snapped. The Joker laughed, and then stared at me. He wasn't smiling, but the red scars along his face could've fooled you. His eyes looked twice as dark now, with the sun setting, and that annoying black make-up around his eyes. "That's right Emma. What's mine is yours! And what's yours is mine!" He screeched with laughter as I stepped back.

"No." I said. I felt tears forming. I knew the reality. I was stuck like this for as long as I lived. But I hated thinking I could be living like this for a long time. He shook his head. "Emma. You really are something." I bit my lip. Shut up shut up. Turned and looked at the Gotham. It was smudged now. All I seen were those dark alleys and those polluting factories. The grey clouds that formed above them. The abandoned streets. Everything seemed so dark and dull. And lifeless. The beauty was gone. I felt the Joker grab my forearm. I looked at his hand on my arm. And then looked up at him. Why was he always watching me? Why must we be silenced when we stare at each other? What was there? Why was it there?

I forget why it happened. But we kissed…. again.  
>Just like before, only it felt different.<br>Like what I felt when I saw Gotham.  
>Before it turned ugly.<br>I felt his hands around my neck.  
>I felt my necklace.<br>I felt….

Only the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

My mother use to tell me, that if I wanted to be something, I should always look up and try my hardest. She forgot to tell me how blinding the sun can be. And how you can't see a thing until you've seen the darkest. Where all is revealed.

I blushed so much after our five hour long kiss finally ended. He didn't say a word. And I watched the sun set. And although the wind made the air freezing cold, I was burning up. See, a certain feeling filled me when we kissed. Something so strong and so impressive, I knew I couldn't deny it. And this hurts. Because only the Joker can make me feel this way. I have no idea and why or how this happened. But it did. And now, I can't run away. Because, I won't.

When you look to the sun, you can not see the shadows.

My mother is so foolish. She said, "You don't fall in love, you find it and keep it." But I think I fell. And I fell hard. Because if I had a choice, I would not have let it happen this way.

Gotham city seemed both beautiful and ugly at the same time. No joke. I know it's hard to understand, but it does. The light captivates the city's most beautiful features. Like the old buildings and the gargoyles among them. And the forest stretching around the entire city. And the river far in the distance, gleaming and shimmering a tune of its own.

And then all of the ugly parts, too. Are seen in broad daylight. The truth.

We stood there in silence. It was awkward. There was no laughter or no sinister screaming. Just complete silence. And we watched as the city grew darker and darker. Until the last rays of sunshine disappeared behind the horizon. Even then, we stood there. In darkness and complete silence. I looked down at the now dark hole in front of me. I couldn't see the rocks. I felt like jumping. I felt like flying. I felt so much like a whole different person. And for once, I wasn't so lost. I guess because now, I knew the truth. No matter how ugly it was.

"I'm afraid of the dark," I said. I'm not sure why either. Like the Joker needs to know what really scares me. I heard him laugh. And was oddly thankful it wasn't quiet anymore. I could here crickets chirping now. Like they waited for the silence to be broken too. "You should be," he added, which sent me cold chills. I shivered. It really was quite freezing out. And I just now realized how dark everything was. And I didn't know where the Joker was. I heard him laughing from behind me though. I turned around quickly, and a hand grasped my shoulder, pushing me backwards. While another hand held a knife to my throat. I could barely make out the Joker's figure in front of me. I was concentrating too hard on the fact that my foot was barely hanging on to the ledge.

"Right now, I could push you and you'd be dead." He laughed. I gulped in fear, and was actually wondering if I was going to die. His breathing was uneasy. I could hear it. He was breathing hard. "Then just do it," I said, quietly. I was testing him now. If I did fall at least I'd be flying. Sorta. He snorted, "I would." He pushed a little harder, his hand grasped harder on to my shirt, and my foot unsteadily lost balance. I began slipping, and wildly reached out to the Joker. He laughed, and I finally caught my footing again. This pissed me off. "Then why the hell won't you just do it already!" I screamed. "Because I can't!" He screamed back. And threw me to the ground in front of him. I crawled aimlessly to where I thought was away from the edge.

I sat, in complete silence. The darkness was getting quite annoying. Only a few stars were shining through the clouds that covered the sky. And the moon was hidden somewhere. The darkness played tricks on my eyes. I thought I seen things move and everything was fuzzy. I sighed aloud. And then the Joker broke the silence. "This isn't what I wanted," he said. As if the truth was finally coming out. "And you think I wanted this?" I screamed. I think I heard an echo. He laughed, "We should go home Emma." He couldn't see me, or maybe he could, but I winced. I could never call his hide out home. "I'd rather fall from this edge and eat dirt," I said, nonchalantly. He laughed again, "Your voice amuses me!" He was now visible in front of me. I could just see his outline. "I'm serious." "I know you are." He said, just as fierce as I was. I then seen him old out his hand. "Come now my pet." He laughed and the collar on my neck became suddenly suffocating.

I shook my head. "Emma, don't make this hard. I really don't want to hurt you." His voice was that of a child's. I could here the enjoyment. "You'll probably throw me, like a rag doll," I spat. He chuckled, "No I won't. I promise!" His laughter was growing very annoying. "Please Emma," he begged. And an image of him giving me puppy eyes made me laugh. "What's so funny?" he asked. "Nothing," I said. I reached in front of me for his hand. And, like he promised, he lifted me from the ground. And towards him. "I love you Emma!" He screeched with enjoyment and turned to lead us back to his van.

I am so confused. I can't explain it any better. This shouldn't be happening. I shouldn't feel this way. No one should feel this, not when it involves the Joker. Time to deny. I pushed all thoughts and feelings away, into this little drawer and locked them up. I'll dig through them later. The whole car ride back was quite intense. It was very quiet. More quiet than before. And very dark. He didn't bother to use his headlights. Twice we nearly wrecked into a guard rail. And I think we hit a squirrel. Or a possum, I can't be exact. I kept thinking this ride would never end, but I soon seen the lights from his hide out as we approached. "Damn it," I heard the Joker mutter. I turned to look at him. He was staring straight ahead. He hit the breaks suddenly and turned the engine off.

I seen Alexa prance out from the building and head over to me. "I thought you were a goner!" Shouted Alexa. She was hammered. So drunk she couldn't even walk straight. She drooped her arm over my shoulders. "Were having fun tonight!" She shrieked in my ear, and began laughing her high-pitched laugh. I walked a few steps with her, trying to steady her so she wouldn't fall. And then I stopped, when suddenly Alexa was pulled backwards. She crashed on to the ground. Dust floated around her. She giggled by me feet. "Wha…. What just happened?" She struggled to say between laughs. "You fell," I lied. The Joker stood furiously behind her. Alexa sat up and dusted off her jeans, still laughing. "What the hell are you doing," the Joker asked calmly. "Having some fun!" She laughed out loud. The Joker sighed. He stared down at the back of Alexa's head.

"This is no time for fun, Alexa! The lights are always out at night!" He screamed back. I watched the Joker scan the ground around him. He eyed a log and picked it up. Before I had the chance to say anything, he struck the back of Alexa's head and she fell forward. I eyed him viciously. "What the hell Joker!" I shouted. I bent over and grabbed Alexa's arm. She was knocked out for sure. I used my strength to lift her, and wrap her arm around my neck. I lifted her limp body from the ground. "She knows," the Joker muttered. And then he walked ahead of me. I struggled to carry Alexa's form across the grass. She was heavier than she looked. And when I finally reached the door I fell. I laid Alexa in my lap and sat up against the door. No one was in the garage. It was just me. And unconscious Alexa. The garage lights were on though. And the place felt cozy from the lights.

I began humming. I sat up against the door peacefully. With little Alexi in my lap. I stroked her hair mindlessly and hummed a tune I fell in love with not too long ago. I guess you could say I was waiting. I really didn't want to carry Alexi any further. And I knew someone would come. And I realized how tired I was. I didn't sleep much at all last night. And today, well lets just say today's been a very long day. I hummed and then my humming became very quiet. And I felt my eyelids drooping. Alexi's hair was soft. I was surprised she lived through that jump. I laughed quietly to myself. No, Alexa is going to regret she ever looked so weak in front of me. Drunk is the worst possible situation to be in. But at least when she was weak. She was little Alexi. I liked her better when she was nice. When she was weaker. That's probably why I had a soft spot for her. I knew the real her behind her tough exterior. The little girl she really was before everything she loved was destroyed. My eyes were very heavy now.

Who ever knew you could fall asleep against a hard, wooden door, on a cold cement floor.

I think I was in a trance. Just barely awake to see what's going on. But not yet awake enough to know what's going on. I could see the Joker's face. And I could see the ceiling inside the stairwell. My eyes were closing again. And then I felt the difference from the hard arms that were beneath me and the soft mattress that held me. And then I was certain I fell asleep.

Then I woke up. At night. Pitch black darkness still. And I was very tired. But something woke me up. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I realized that the moon was now visible and was casting a ray of light through the window. And now I realized my little dream I had. The Joker finally came back and took me to bed. He didn't even wake me. And now I laid in bed, next to him. He was asleep and it was the glass on the night stand next to me that woke me up. It had fallen over and water, there was no alcoholic smell to it, had spilled all over my side of the bed, drenching my right arm sleeve and a part of the back. I was too tired to really do anything about it, so I slowly took off the hoodie I was now wearing. Wait. When did I put this on? It seemed all of my body heat was inside that small sweatshirt. I was cold now. Still in my short sleeved shirt I had worn to dinner two nights ago. A shower would be pleasant.

I sighed and rolled slightly away from the water. And was now even closer to the Joker. I thanked my lucky stars he didn't wake. I stared at his face for a moment. Making sure he wasn't awake, and just playing games with me. And I noticed it. He looked quite peaceful when he was sleeping, and the face of that young boy so many years ago was there. I sighed. I don't know why he chose to kill people because of his childhood, but I do know this. He isn't all that bad. Or at least he can't be. Not if I'm still alive.

I shut my eyes. Enough with all of this bogus crap. It's time to go to bed. I'm not thinking clearly.

"What a wonderful day," I heard an unfamiliar voice say. Her musical voice like bells when she talked, "And to think it was suppose to rain all day!" Her laughter was angelic. My eyes peeped open at curiosity. A small girl was standing at my window. She had long, sandy blonde hair that when to her hips. She was short, but it seemed she was strong too. She spun around, her hair whipping around her. I caught my breath when I seen how gorgeous she was. Her blue eyes were… blue! Not the dull grey color that comes with age, but pure baby blue. And her cheekbones were high, making her look more distinguished. And pink, too. She looked like a porcelain doll. The one you never take out of the package because she's worth so much untouched. And she wore an adorable pink sun dress that fit her perfectly and brought out the tan she had.

But she didn't look so happy. Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw me. "Wait? You're not Alexa!" She said. Giving me an all up and down look over as I sat up in bed. "No, I'm not," I said. She huffed when I agreed and crossed her dainty arms across her chest. I was definitely comparing her to me. "Then who are you?" She questioned. Leaning on one leg, she watched me intently. "Emma," I said, perfectly calm. She gave me a smug look, "Emma!" She snorted and turned her heels on me to face the window. "Where's my big sister?" She asked. So this little beauty was Alexa's sister? They looked nothing alike. "I'm not sure. Did you check downstairs?" I asked. "As if I'd go downstairs by myself. This is Alexa's room you know! She'll be furious when she finds out you're sleeping here." I couldn't see her face, but I had a feeling she was smirking.

"She was, at first. But it's been a while now. She's not brain washed you know," I said. She turned to face me now, her pretty angel's face had suddenly turned demonic. "You stole Alexa's place!" I gave her a grim look, "Like I wanted to!" I yelled back. She didn't say a word. And finally, curiosity got the best of me. "Why are you here anyways?" I asked. Her gaze connected with mine. "Why else? To see my sister, duh!" she snapped. "Yes, but don't you know you're in danger coming here." She rolled her eyes at me. "The Joker wouldn't touch a hair on my pretty head!" Wow, she was something else. "What makes you so sure?" I questioned. "Alexa won't let him," She said. She walked to the other side of the room and sat at the white desk inn its corner.

"Do you come here often?" I asked. "Every August 17th," she said. I looked away from her and down at the bed sheets. It's Dad's birthday. I hate to know its ruined because of me. That he won't enjoy himself today because of me. I sighed. "She won't let me bring Mikey," she said, breaking me from my thoughts, "She won't even let me bring pictures! He's almost 6 years old! And he's grown so much." I looked up at her and saw the hurt and loss in her eyes. She was tough. Just like Alexa. But she had that obvious soft spot. "What's your name?" I asked, trying to break away from this conversation that had started. "Charity." She said. I noticed that now, since I wasn't Alexa, her voice wasn't so joyful anymore. It was still musical, but it had venom. "I lost Alexa when I was twelve." She said, not seeming to be talking to anyone. "It's been 6 years. You know she missed my 18th birthday! She yelled, finally looking at me like this was my fault. "I'm sorry," I said. "I truly am. But I'm sure Alexa feels horrible about not being there." "Of course she does!" She yelled back, "What do ya think she is, a monster?" "No, sorry…"

She was up and out of her chair. And her hand wrapped around the doorknob. "Help me find her. This is our day!" She snapped. I slowly climbed out of bed. I didn't no where anyone was or whether or not they were here. But I was tired of Charity's demanding voice already. I walked over to the door way but she didn't move. "Would you like to see Mikey?" she asked. Her angelic voice was all calm and peaceful. "I never told Alexa this but when she left, Mother literally died. I mean she's still alive, but she can't look at Mikey. She got rid of all of Alexa's stuff. It's like she's trying to forget she's ever had her. So I've kind of been the one to raise little Mikey. It's been hard." I could hear her voice on the edge of tears. Her hand was in her pocket, already pulling out his picture. "Sure," I said. And then she lifted the picture. I was amazed at how much Mikey looked like Alexa. Same eyes, same face, same pouty expression. Except Mikey had brown hair. But he was adorable. I don't think it's possible for one kid to be so cute. He was holding a red fire truck, looking up innocently at the camera. Spilled orange juice was on the kitchen tiles and stained his shirt. He was wearing green overalls and underneath a red plaid sweater. Their resemblance was remarkable.

"This must be hard for you," I said. Already knowing that it was. She nodded her head and refused to look over at me. "He looks so much like her." "I know!" She said, fiercely, "I have to see her. Help me find her now!" She stepped into the hallway. My first guess was she was downstairs on the second floor. Like always. Charity followed behind me as I led her down the hallway and back down the stairs. I opened the door and we headed down the second floor hall. Then, about ten rooms later, we reached what I thought was Alexa's room. Or her hang out. Or whatever. I opened the door and found myself to be correct. The moment Charity set eyes on her sister, she skipped into the room. She was putting up a tough front for Alexa. It took Alexa a moment to realize it was her. She was dressed in black pajama pants and a dark green hoodie. Bed head of course, and it was obvious she had just woken up. And had a major hangover. And then I noticed the Joker, off in one of the rooms, mumbling to one of his henchmen. But my attention was rather turned towards the now jumping Alexa.

"CHARITY!" She screamed, already her arms around her sister's neck. The both embraced in a hug so intense, I wasn't sure I should watch. They needed their own time, like Charity had said. Charity looked back at me, rather smugly, and then turned back to Alexa, "I'm sorry your place is taken. We should get food! Chinese? Mexican? What ya want Alexa?" Alexa kept at staring at me. I don't know why. She was looking at me, that was certain and she seemed at ease. And then she looked at her sister, "Charity, please don't knock Emma down. She's very sweet. And she's helped me more than she'll ever know." Charity seemed as shocked as I did. I didn't know Alexa cared so much. And I'm guessing by the look on Charity's face, neither did she. But Alexa turned and smiled at Charity, "Chinese sounds great," then to me, "Would ya like to come?" I looked between Charity and Alexa. This was their day. Not mine. Even though I'd like nothing more than to come. "No thanks. You two have fun," I said. Alexa looked at me for a second and then turned away, "Well I have to get dressed!"

After they left, I really didn't know what to do. I sat on the black couch and stared at the muted television screen. Poor little Alexi and her headache. I smiled. What a happy but small family reunion. I don't think I've ever seen Alexa this happy. Except when she told me about Daniel and Mikey. There was true love in her eyes then. So I sat there. Pondering my own life. No one will come to visit me. Ally's always been a coward. Something's wrong with Mom and I don't think Dad could even look at me anymore. I really had nothing left in life. Except that icky feeling.

I noticed the difference as the couch moved. The Joker sat down next to me, and I could feel him staring. He was going to say something, he always did. And before I knew what I was saying, I had already said it. "That's nice of you to let Alexa see her sister." I wished I could've just thought it rather than had said it aloud. I was waiting for a cackle of laughter. Or for him to tell me how they'll both be dead by midnight. But neither of those things happen at all. "Everyone needs someone Emma," Except he did what I hated most of all, he made no sense, "Just like I need you."

I grunted and turned to face him. "I think my IQ dropped just listening to your bullshit," I said back to him. He smiled at my fury and pushed it further, "It's true, Emma. I need you more than I should need anything!" He laughed, probably at my expression, "Who do you need Emma?" He asked, with this thoughtful expression. He smiled when I didn't answer. "Just what I thought!" He laughed but abruptly stopped when he noticed me crying.

Why was I crying again?

"Stop it! That's not funny," he said. He was much more serious than ever. "You're so pathetic!"  
>And then I had a remark, which I thought was good at first, until I actually said it aloud, "I guess I can't handle the truth!"<p>

Then I stopped crying. Shocked by my own voice. I admitted something I wanted to keep locked away in that little drawer of mine. The Joker smiled at me. He enjoyed the redness that flowed to my face. And the fear that struck my expression. And the fact that I couldn't even lie to myself. I was a bad liar. "I didn't say that!" I said, which sounded even worse. The Joker chuckled and I blushed harder. "I think I'll go now," I said, standing up from the couch. But he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down, "How about you stay?" He commanded rather than asked. And so I sat there. I felt very awkward and very embarrassed. I wish I could think before I speak.

"Joker and Emma. Has a ring doesn't it?" He said, shaking with laughter. I rejected this so called humor and shrunk away from him. He grabbed my hand. The one with the scar, and held on to it. Just in case I tried to leave.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

A few days have gone by, and not a single scratch. I was lucky. Very lucky. Things seemed so different too. Every day I'd wake up, and instead of feeling sorrow, or home sick. I felt like this was where I was suppose to be. It was strange, but that's what I was. I was strange. Like last night. I woke up sometime during the early morning and everything was still dark. And the Joker was laying with me and he was awake. I hadn't said anything to him. He was watching me and like I was suddenly possessed, I leaned into him, letting him hold me while I fell asleep again.

And I know that isn't right.

I heard voices in my room. I opened my eyes and saw Alexa on a cell phone. "Only 360 more days!" She squealed into the receiver. I'm guessing its Charity. "I know, but I can't-" And her face suddenly went blank. "No Charity! Don't you even dare put him on the phone!…. Don't!" and then she shut the phone. I sat up in bed, "What was that about?" I asked. "Nothing!" she hissed, "Stop eavesdropping." I knew anyways. Charity wanted her to talk to Mikey. It only made sense. The door slowly opened, and the Joker walked in. With a blank expression of course. Only he was very different. He wasn't wearing any make up. At all. But he still wore the same purple suit. And the look on Alexa's face was priceless. She was jaw-dropped at the sight of him. Not that he was too bad to look at, but he looked so incredibly different without his make up on. He looked human. Even if that seems unbelievable.

"Jo….. Boss, what's…" Poor Alexa couldn't even finish a sentence. What was wrong with her? "What's going on?" I asked. Way too calmly, it freaked me out. The Joker eyed me and then the phone in Alexa's hand. "You're getting a little rusty, Emma," The Joker said, a smile spreading across his face. But without the make-up, I couldn't really tell what he had in mind. "Alexa darling, I need to user your phone," Alexa's not weak? What a joke! She melted when he looked over at her and she passed him her phone. "Now leave!" He shouted. And she pleasantly skipped out the door. How can the Joker have such control over her. I sighed, the Joker was still his self. He began to dial a number.

"Who are you calling?" I asked. There was a weakness in my voice. And I sniffed. Oh crap, I think I'm catching a cold. I cleared my throat. "Just an old friend," He answered, walking away from the door and over to the wall. His voice was sinister and it took me a moment to think of 'an old friend.' And I instantly panicked when I thought of Ally. "Hello," he said into the receiver. Oh crap. "Is Ally there?" He asked. "No!" I screamed. "No, leave her alone!" I was now upright in bed. The sudden movement gave me a rush, and I began to get dizzy. I was definitely sick. I took a deep breath. The Joker put a hand over the phone, "Shhh, Emma. I'm on the phone," He laughed. "Please, leave her alone." I begged. I felt the warmth of tears flood behind my eyes.

I got out of bed. "Hello Ally," he said into the phone. "I have something you might want." He laughed and I stood in front of him. "Hold on a sec," He covered the phone again and looked at me, "Did you want to say something?" My eyes narrowed at him. "You have everything you could want, leave the rest of my family out of this!" I screeched. My voice was hoarse. And the Joker turned smug at the sound me. "What disease did you catch now Emma?" I scowled at him, but while he was busy taunting me, I snatched the phone from his hand and put it up to my ear. "Ally, I-" But there was only a dial tone. I shut the phone in frustration, and then, slammed it to the floor.

"You are so annoying!" I screamed. But screaming is not a good thing. From a loss of breath, I stumbled to the side, catching the wall. What a great time to be sick. "What are you doing?" The Joker said, walking over to me. I turned around and leaned up against the wall. "Nothing," I snapped. He narrowed his eyes, looking at me. "You're sick," he said. "So are you!" I laughed.

His eyebrows lifted, but he turned away from me. He was walking over to the door. Probably going to leave, which was fine with me. But I'm one to speak before I think. "Why aren't you wearing make up?" I asked. He stood in place, not facing me. "Because of you Emma," He said. What did that mean? "What?" I asked. He turned around and looked at me. There was a softness in his face I'd only seen once before. That night when he was sleeping…. "You're making me human, Emma. You're making me weak." I laughed. He was joking right. This was a joke and I laughed. "Laugh all you want, but it still remains the truth." he said.  
>"What remains the truth?" I asked. He walked over to me now. And I stepped back. Taken off guard at how fast he moves. His hand wrapped softly around my neck. And he leaned in close, our foreheads touched. "That we're madly in love with each other!" He smiled. "I do not-" I began, but his grip on my neck became suddenly tight. "Don't lie Emma. I hate liars!" The he let go and walked away from me.<p>

But for some messed up reason, I was not finished. I followed him out of the door. "It's impossible!" I shouted, I walked behind him, his hands were in his pockets. "You'd think it was," he said, "With you being so beautiful, and me being so ugly." What's inside us is what he meant. Because I wasn't completely beautiful, and he wasn't completely ugly. He reached the end of the hall and opened the door leading to the staircase. With me, right behind him. "That doesn't make sense, "I said. "It doesn't have to," he commented. "I can't love you!" I said back. He stopped, his hand on the rail. "And why not Emma?" He questioned. But I had no explanation. "Because…." I said. "Why Emma? Because I'm demented? I murder innocent people?" He said.

"Yeah…." I said. But I was too quiet. I couldn't convince myself that that was the reason. "You're lying," he said. "Because you hurt me!" I screamed back. He turned around now, his expression furious. His hands landed hard on my shoulders. "What do you mean?" I laughed, appalled at the fact that he didn't know. "I don't know, maybe it's because you tormented me. Abused me. Killed my best friend. Left me with scars… I could go on." I said. He stared blankly at me for a second, "You know what Emma? That's a good reason not to love me. But after all of that, you still do." His words felt like knives. He was so true. And I stood in the staircase, while he turned around and headed down them.

I coughed and grabbed my throat. Ouch. "Wait a minute!" I shouted, hoarsely. I ran down the stairs as carefully as I could. He was a fast stair stepper. I went down about two and a half stories, nearly running straight into the Joker who, to my surprise, was waiting. "What?" He hissed, his black eyes locking with my golden ones. "Where are you going?" I asked. I felt completely dumb, knowing I raced down here without an exact reason. The Joker's expression scrunched with confusion, "Why do you want to know?" And then something washed over him and he smiled, "Would you like to come?" He asked. I shook my head viciously, "No I would not."

And we both just stood there in silence. I turned around and slowly began to walk back up stairs. But a hand stopped me. He grabbed my shoulder and pulled, forcing me to fall backwards and nearly fall. I turned around. "What!" I yelled. He smiled viciously at me, but it didn't have the same effect as when his face was covered in make up. And I wonder why that was. "I have an idea!" He said, closing his had around my wrist and leading me downstairs the rest of the way. We ended up in front of the garage door like always. He opened it, and led me inside. To my surprise, it wasn't empty.

There was at least half a dozen people in here. Including a few of the Joker's henchmen that I recognized and Alexa. The others, I have never seen before. They were mostly guys, only one other person was a girl and even she didn't fit the 'feminine' category. Alexa looked to me in surprise, but her eyes lingered on the Joker. Everyone seemed a bit surprised by the Joker's appearance. Without his make up, I couldn't even think of him as 'the Joker.' The murmuring had stopped when we entered the garage. Something was going to happen tonight, and I wasn't quite sure my little body could take it right now. And my nose tickled. I sneezed. All eyes were on me and I felt myself blush. My eyes were really watery. Damn allergies. And then I heard the Joker laugh.

"Everyone, meet Emeralda," he said, motioning to me with a purple glove. He was doing this on purpose. I hate being the center of attention. A lot of ugly faces looked towards me. They were smug and uninviting. And they turned to disgust when I sneezed for the second time. I let out a groan, I could chug some cough medicine right about now. I pinched the bridge of my nose, which was aching from that last sneeze. The Joker walked backwards until we were in line with each other, and then he grabbed my hand, my right hand, and lifted it. Another wave of embarrassment came over me as I watched the disgusted faces eye our intertwined fingers. The Joker laughed, and lowered our hands. What was he doing? I eyed him suspiciously, and he eyed me back. And then, he looked back to the line of people in front of him. "This'll be fun," He whispered. Only so my ears could hear. "Alright, let's have some fun!" He shouted. Everyone's spirits were lifted at this. And they began piling into another van I didn't recognize. And me, the Joker, Alexa, and two other guys went in the Joker's van.

I sat in the very back, next to Alexa. The Joker drove. "Where are we going? What are we doing?" I whispered frantically over to Alexa. She smiled sweetly but stared straight ahead. She was in some kind of a trance. I looked behind me and saw the other van following close behind us. "What's going on!" I whispered a little more fiercely. Alexa gave me a smug look "Shut the hell up! You are so annoying!" She hissed. "Then answer my question!" I hissed back. "Just a little rendezvous," she said nonchalantly. "What…" My voice trailed off and I cleared my throat. My eyes were becoming very itchy. I sniffed, and was sure I couldn't smell. Then Alexa turned to me again, "Are you sick?" she asked. And she sounded a little concerned. "Yes," I replied. She scooted away from me. "You're diseased?" She asked, a little too loud. Some guy in front of us turned around and looked back at me. "No, Alexa. I'm sick. It's just a cold." I said. Her face grew a little less disgusted.

I turned and faced the window. Watching city buildings and small trees pass by. How in the world could we drive by unseen. I was sure the cops and general public knew the Joker's van when they saw it. Plus, there's another van right behind us. But I didn't hear any sirens. Or screams. And finally, I seen a tall building come into sight. It was so close to the river's edge. By now, my head had dropped with weakness. And I was in no condition to go climbing up 27 stories.

Which is exactly what we were going to do. The others all went ahead of us. It was still early morning and I was guessing the building wasn't open yet. "You want me to climb 27 stories?" I asked. The Joker looked down at me. "That's what I said." I shook my head. "I can barely walk as it is." But the Joker placed a hand on my back and shoved me ahead of him. "A little exercise won't hurt," He said, laughing as he pushed me inside the tall dead building. I heard the sound of footsteps rushing but saw no sign of people what so ever. "27 stories?" I questioned, "Why can't I take the elevator?" I whined. My body ached already and I haven't even started. The Joker laughed but grabbed my wrist. "Because you can't!" He dragged me to the fire escape door, which led to the 27 stories of stairs we were about to walk up.

I sighed and looked up. It was a never-ending spiral of stairs. The Joker still held my wrist and his view followed mine. "Yes, Emma. All the way up there," He chuckled and began to drag me up the first set of stairs. This was going to be bad for me.

A whole 27 stories climbed and I was out of breath. I sat on the top stair and held on to the railing. We weren't just on the top floor, we were on the roof. "Why…. are… we….. here…..?" I asked, between hard intakes of air. The Joker laughed, he was fine. Of course he was. "We're getting money or at least, they are. We have the fun part." He looked down at me. Right now I wouldn't blame him for thinking I'm pathetic. I was really out of shape. But he reached out his hand. I eyed him, but cautiously took his hand and he lifted me from the ground. It was even harder to catch my breath when I was coughing every five seconds. "What's….. what's the fun part?" I asked. The Joker sill held on to my hand but with his other, he pulled out a small black object. On it, was a small red button. "This is!" he said, eyeing the object. " Me and you are going to level this place." He laughed. I sighed. At least no one was going to get hurt.

He dragged me out the top door and I was hit with cold air. It was very breezy being up this high. But very refreshing. And why did I see such beautiful sights with such a psychotic man? I have no idea. But the overlook was amazing. I could see the river, shimmering in the new day's light. And I could see few lights in homes. The reflection in the water was just as amazing. It reflected the sky's yellow and pink tint. It was very breathtaking. I sucked in a huge breath of air, and found myself coughing. The Joker turned around and stared at me. "You should get that checked out," he said, jokingly.

"Why did we come all the way up here if we're just going to blow it up?" I asked. The Joker stood and looked out at the view. I couldn't help but stare at him. It was so different looking at him without his make up on. He seemed like a totally different person. But I was 100% sure he was the same person. "Because Emma, I have to set the bomb." I looked over and froze at the sight of a huge black box strapped down to the building. I never actually seen a real bomb right in front of me. It was quite shocking. The Joker turned around and walked over to the bomb. He kneeled beside it and pressed a few buttons. I looked out at the river again. If only I had my camera with me right now. I loved taking pictures. Especially in high school. It was my true passion. Not psychology. Psychology was just a way for me to learn how to control everything. Which is impossible. I can't even control the way I feel. The Joker stood up, and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Well, it's time for the fireworks!" He yelled, laughing. I shivered. It's not quite the firework show I was hoping for. "We should go," He said. Finally turning around to face me. This wind was going to make my sickness worse. I shivered some more. My teeth chattering. And then I sniffed. Ugh. I wasn't ready to walk down all 27 stories again. "Come on," The Joker whined. He was already back inside the building. But before I went, I took a picture. Not literally, but figuratively. With my mind. The river was absolutely beautiful. And then I headed inside. Where at least the wind stopped blowing. And looked around. The Joker was gone. I hurriedly ran down the first two flight of stairs. Until I made it two floor 25, where the building actually ended. And, once again, I just about ran into the Joker. "You're quick," He said, nodding his head. And then he turned around and opened the door to the 25th floor. I was a bit confused. But I followed in after him. He waited and to my pleasant surprise, an elevator door opened. "Thank God," I huffed, slowly walking into the elevator. "Oh your welcome, " the Joker chimed. He laughed and then shut the elevator doors.

I could've fallen asleep standing up I was so weak. And I was very happy about the elevator ride down. It took a mere minute before we were on ground level. And then we stepped out. "What is this place anyways?" I asked, walking behind the Joker. "It's a money maker," he said. "What?" He laughed. "I'm not sure myself. All I know is there are millions of dollars in these walls." That's when I noticed the bags of money being loaded into the Joker's van by his two henchmen. But where was everyone else? We walked out, greeted by the icy wind. "Joe, my friend. How much?" asked the Joker. The man dressed in all grey with short curly hair and a hefty figure answered, "A couple million. At least." He laughed and the Joker joined him. Then he turned around and looked at me. "Get in cupcake. You don't want to be around when this place comes down." Which was only very true. The place was 27 stories high. And so I got in the back seat, like before.

We drove only about a mile before stopping. And then everyone began coming out of the van. There were about four people total. And I recognized them all to be the Joker's henchmen. The Joker pulled out the detonator and held it up in his hand. "Emma, I want you up here for this," he said. I blushed as the others turned around to look at me. And then I moved up to the front of the van and stood next to him. He grabbed my right hand with his left hand, like always. Always since he scarred us both. He laughed. And I realized something wasn't quite right. And it wasn't until I heard the loud explosion and saw the mushroom cloud of smoke rise to the sky did I realize what was so wrong. The other van hadn't followed us back. The Joker laughed and his henchmen joined him.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked. Shivering because of the cold and for other reasons too. "I guess they didn't make it out in time!" he laughed. I froze. That means… I looked around me frantically. And then freed myself from the Joker's grip and ran to look inside the van. No one. I rechecked the faces standing around outside. No, no, no. The Joker looked at me like I was a freak, "What are you doing?" He yelled. I stood frozen and looked at him. "Tell me Alexa made it out," I said. But the Joker turned away from me. "Is she here?" He asked. His voice sinister. "No…" And I didn't need an answer.

Alexa didn't make it out.

And everything, just like that, turned upside down. And I was afraid again. And I was weak. I couldn't move. And I felt someone lift me back into the van. Alexa was in there. She didn't come out. She died. Alexa who never met her son. Alexa who was so messed up by the Joker. She's dead, And she saved me. She really did. She gave me s second chance at a normal life. And I just came running back. I wonder how she felt about that. And poor, poor Charity. She'll never know until she calls. Or visits. Which is a year from now. And will she be able to look at Mikey? Or will it be too hard? Just like it was for her mother.

Alexa. My Alexa. My newest friend. Dead, burned to an ash. I now felt a new burn of hatred for the Joker. He won't stop destroying the things I love most. Even if he doesn't know he's doing it. I am so broken.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

Can you break something broken?

It seemed I was under a spell. I moved and walked and breathed. But I wasn't there. I could see what was going on, but I wasn't really there. I thought about Amanda. Sean. Eliza… Alexa. It hurt me just to think of her name. It felt like someone dug a hole where my heart use to be. Because I know I witnessed crimes the Joker did. Several since her death. And yet, I always felt nothing. No remorse. No fear. This worried me to death. And each day I woke up, hoping that it wasn't real. Even though I was sure this was my reality, I was still hoping it wasn't.

So I woke up today. And I looked at the ugly white printing on the ceiling. It was very quiet today. Which I liked very much. I laid there, staring at the ceiling. Every time I took a deep breath, it felt like my lungs would tear. I was positive I have had enough. I was positive I was slowly dying. Like Eliza. I shut my eyes. It was too quiet. I thought for a moment I had lost my hearing. And then I heard a screech at my window. A branch, I was sure, scratching against the window. But then there was a second noise. A sigh…

I opened my eyes but continued staring straight ahead. For some reason I felt like crying and screaming. And I opened my mouth to do just that. But nothing came out, just a ragged sigh. And then a few tears strolled down the sides of my face. I squeezed my eyes shut. Forcing the tears to stop. It was too much to bare feeling again. And then I spoke, very softly, "I'm not Emma anymore…"

And more tears came. Finally, like hitting a brick wall, everything fell together at once. I felt sad, depressed, furious, alone, afraid, worried, and nervous. I began crying and I held my face in my hands. The spot in my chest ached so much. "I broke little Emma," said a voice I was in no mood to hear. Things start coming together again and its him I have to hear. I heard a faint, silent laugh. But there was no humor to it.

How was it possible I let someone break me? I was so strong. I am strong. And yet…. "Emma?" A voice questioned, as if to see if I was here or not. But I remained silent. I wanted to disappear again. I wanted to feel invisible all over again. I wanted to be numb. "Emma?" the voice questioned again, "I have a surprise for you." Those words. They built up an indescribable rage inside me. "Go away!" I screamed. And then the Joker laughed. "You're back!" He yelled back. And then I heard my bedroom door creak open. "Get up Emma!" he said. I shook my head. Not daring to look over in his direction. Afraid I might see those dead eyes, and have them steal the life from me. "Please…." ached a musical voice. It was sad, but the words came out like bells. My eyes shot open. And I sat up. And I felt a moment of happiness.

It was Charity. The one who absolutely hated me for taking her sister's place. But it was her. Flesh and blood. And then another small face caught my attention. And I could feel the tears coming back. It was Mikey. And he looked more like Alexa in person. His shy little face peeked out from behind Charity's back. His hand in hers. But then I went blank again. And my eyes fell towards those of the Joker's. His eyes were empty. And I could see a faint sign of sorrow. But his face remained blank and expressionless in a manner that was suppose to scare me. But it didn't. It was as if I could see for the first time. I could actually see something behind his eyes. But the rage outdid my faint sympathy for him.

"Another form of torture? Am I going to have to sit through their death too?" I said rather harshly. Charity's eyes widened and I could see her grip around Mikey's hand tighten. And the Joker's brows knitted together. "Good accusation Emma. But I was tired of seeing you so broken," He said. I eyed him viciously. And flicked the covers from around me. I was struck for a moment. I don't really remember changing into these clothes. As a matter of fact, I don't remember much of the past few days. And then I looked back up at the Joker, who was looking my hand.. "And this is suppose to help?" I questioned. "Charity and Ale- Mikey?"

The Joker's eyes finally met mine. "Well, it did wake you up!" He spat and then he stomped over to Charity. I could see the fear in her face. She shoved Mikey further behind her. The Joker's hand grabbed Charity's neck. "I did this for you Emma!" He shouted, shoving Charity out of the door way and then leaving. He did this for me? Lie. Charity's horrific look turned to me and then softened a bit. "You look so much better," she said. "What?" I questioned. Her eyes scanned over me. "Well since the last time I saw you. You look better…" Her voice trailed off when something tugged at her hand. She pulled Mikey in and shut the door behind her. And then I wondered. Did she know Alexa was dead?

Charity sighed and sat down, her blonde curls floating down past her shoulders. And Mikey was a people person. He climbed right on top of the bed and sat himself right next to her. And then I joined them both, sitting next to Mikey. He was so adorable. I wondered if he was allowed to be this cute? I just wished that Alexa could see him. A pain struck my heart.

"Alexa's dead," said Charity, nonchalantly. I drew a blank, and the only thing I could manage was, "I know." So why didn't Charity cry? Why wasn't she falling apart? It was her sister after all. Charity sighed. "I try not to feel so bad about it. I know she wouldn't want me to, besides, I knew she really….. " She stopped there. And I looked over at her. Her head was down, and her hand wrapped around Mikey's, who seemed to be distracted by the charm bracelet on her wrist. "I know she really just wanted to die inside. She just would never do it herself," her voice trailed off. "But the Joker killed her!" I spat angrily. Charity gave me an odd look and Mikey looked up at, worried. "Sorry…." I mumbled. Mikey turned back to he bracelet. "It's like he did her favor!" She said, with a hint of humor to her voice. I stared blankly at her. "What?"

She shook her head, "Of course I miss her! Of course I wish she was alive! That the Joker didn't kill her, but I have to be strong for her! For Mikey…." Her voice cracked and then she fell. She fell hard. And the tears came. Her hand let go of Mikey's and she caressed her face, sobbing. I took Mikey's hand. "What's going on?" he asked. I lead him over to the white desk. A perfect layout. A pen sat on the desk next to some blank papers. "Charity wants you to draw her a picture!" I said. Mikey looked from the paper to me, and smiled. "Okay!" He hopped into the seat and began scribbling. And then I walked over to Charity.

"I'm Mom. He knows me as Mom…" she said between sobs. "Right," I whispered to myself. I turned around, "Mommy wants you to draw her a picture Mikey," I corrected. "Mmkay," He mumbled, his hand moving slowly across the paper. And then I turned around. Charity's face was no longer buried in her hands. She looked over at Mikey. At least she's a beautiful crier. I sighed and walked over to her. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this Charity. I really am." But nothing I could say would get through to her. She sat here, in some kind of trance, staring at Mikey's little figure crouched over the paper. I wondered what she was thinking. I wonder how long she's been here. How long have I been…. out? Days or weeks. I wasn't sure. But I couldn't take this right now. Charity's angelic face was going to make me depressed. I needed fresh air.

"Charity, I think-" I began. "I left Mikey's inhaler at home!" She gasped, looking at me in horror. "He needs his inhaler Emma," she said, her eyes tearing up again. "It'll be okay," I said, "I promise." But she began crying again. Her voice was so heavenly, it made me sad to hear her crying. "I'm going for a walk," I said. "Would you like to come?" I asked. I couldn't just leave her here. But she shook her head, "Actually it's been a really long drive, I think me and Mikey will just go to bed," she said, wiping her tears away with her hands. "Mikey, " Her voice cracked as she called to him. He turned back to look at her, her arms wide open. He hopped out of the chair and grabbed his paper, running over and jumping into Charity's lap. "Look Mumma, is a fire twuck!" He said. I am always one to run into precious moments.

I looked over to Charity. She smiled at his drawing and kissed the top of his head while he made truck noises. "Vrooom!" I opened the door and quietly left the room. Lets go for a walk. I headed down the hallway and to the door. Opening it, I realized no one was watching me. I could run away if I wanted to, but where would I go? I walked slowly down the steps. Everything just seemed so slow today. I kept walking down until I finally reached the metallic door. My hand froze around the golden doorknob. If I opened it, would I be welcomed to the Joker or someone else? But I couldn't go back upstairs. So I opened the door.

Fortunately, the garage was empty. Dark and silent. Its eeriness was overwhelming so I hurriedly jogged over to the other door. And it seemed no one really noticed me. Which was a good thing. I paused at this door too, the same thoughts racing through my mind. But in the end, I opened the door. A harsh, bitter wind met my face, making me shiver. Luckily, I was wearing a sweater. I looked around. Everything was clear. There was a small, white car that I didn't recognize, but it was empty. I looked around at all the tall trees surrounding me and the gravel driveway. The wind shook the leaves and I noticed it was probably almost fall. The leaves were changing colors. Just turning orange and brown. The sky was grey, like always, but the environment filled me with an unexplainable happiness. It made everything seem so peaceful. A cold, autumn evening, with a slight breeze, like home.

I took a deep, fresh breath and started walking. I knew I wouldn't be gone long. I couldn't leave Charity and Mikey by themselves. I wouldn't dream of it. I slowly smiled to myself. I liked this. The way I was feeling again. Not so much about myself, but for others. I was always a caring person, but now, everything was different. I'm sure I'd rather stay and help Charity now than live a normal life. Because I knew that was impossible.

And surely enough I lost all train of thought as I heard the crunching of leaves under me. It was so peaceful. It reminded me of when me and Ally were younger. Fall had always been my favorite season, never Ally's. She was a summer girl. And I use to chase her around our house, throwing handfuls of leaves at her. It was so funny then, she screamed her head off, yelling at me, telling me stop. Threatening that she'd punch my face in later. I was always laughing. I could lay in leaves for hours, despite all the bugs crawling among them. Ally thought it was sick. But it was great. Because even then when she was yelling at me, she too was laughing as loud as I was.

And then I looked around me. It was slightly eerie at how beautiful this place really was. The trees around me were so tall and painted orange and brown. A blanket of leaves covered the ground beneath me. And I felt daring. I turned off of the run down driveway, which was leading me no where but to the main road, and into the woods. Where I entered, the trees were fairly spaced out. And I can look further and see the trees getting more dense, more dark. And my feet just led the way. Even though my mind told me I'd get lost.

I looked up at the fall sky. Light grey clouds covered the sky but the sun lightened them from behind. And I wondered exactly what time it was. It looked nearing evening. But I wasn't positive. I wasn't even sure how long I had buried myself in the walls of that room. I was just glad to be breathing the crisp, cold air. And for once, I felt settled. And as I continued to walk, I was beginning to sense the seasons in the air. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I could always smell the air at home, and could tell it was that time of the year. And I loved that. The air smelled like autumn. And a cold breeze made me shiver. Another trait I loved about fall. This walk was doing me good.

I began to focus. And realized I had made it into the more dense part of the woods. It was a bit darker now. And as I looked back over my shoulder, I couldn't quite tell which way to go. I was sure I walked in a straight line the whole time. But I've never been quite 'balanced.' I sighed. There is no use for worrying Emeralda. Even though you're lost in a dense part of unknown woods you've never walked in before. Do not worry. You'll be fine. I'm like my own muscle relaxer. I soon felt tired and sat down on a fallen tree near by. It was cold, but solid. And I looked out in front of me, studying my surroundings. Okay, now that you're in the right frame of mind, think. Do you remember a specific tree you passed. Or rock. Or anything? I was helping myself out very much. I just sat there.

All the trees looked the same. Nothing looked different to me. And the sky kept getting darker and darker by he minute. And the air was getting colder. But at least I had my body heat. I wonder what Charity and Mikey are doing? How long will they be here? Another breeze and then I noticed how much the wind had picked up. I was shivering now. My sweater wasn't quite thick enough. I wasn't the one who generated heat. Usually when I laid next to Ally when we were younger, it was her who was always warm. I was the one snuggling up to her, putting my cold feet on the back of her legs. Which she got used to when we shared rooms in our apartment, so long ago.

And then I felt something wet on the tip of my nose. It was dark now. Only a slight glow amongst the clouds illuminated the sky. And the wind kept whipping my hair into my face. I felt something wet on my hand now. Oh dang. I sighed. Was I going to die from hypothermia? I was shaking now, so cold I couldn't keep still. And I was hungry. I needed food. Chinese sounded good right now. Chicken fried rice. Yum. And chocolate chip cookies. I sighed deeply as the water droplets turned into a repetitive pattern, drop drop drop. First just a slight sprinkle and the trees covered me mostly. But I heard the rain getting louder. Just my luck right? And soon it was raining.

And I was getting drenched. It's not enough I have to be lost and freezing. But I have to be lost, freezing, hungry, AND drenched. And I soon became uncomfortable. The sky was dark now. And my vision was fuzzy. I thought I seen things move, but it was just the wind. It wasn't until I saw a flicker of light did I begin to feel hopeful. Okay so maybe whoever was looking for me, wasn't better than dying of hypothermia. But I couldn't die. I needed to take care of Charity and Mikey. I soon heard the crunching of leaves and a light blinded my eye sight. I squinted away from it. I already knew who it was.

"Well this is interesting," he said. "I went for a walk," I said nonchalantly. I sighed, and the Joker sighed. "What am I going to do with you Emma?" he asked, laughing afterwards. I was shivering like crazy, I probably looked pathetic. But I wouldn't let that weaken me. "You are quite strange, cupcake. May I say, a little awkward?" He laughed. "I'm not as hopeless as I look!" I snapped. "I got lost that's all, but it's not like I was going to die out here in the woods. I was going to come back." There was a silence, then a crackle of thunder, which, of course, made me jump. "So why are you out here freezing to death?" he questioned, a bit of humor to his voice. "I like the fall," I said.

"Ah, that makes two of us Emma," He said, chuckling. Of course it did. "Would you like to go home Emma?" He asked. I bit my lip in frustration. For as long as I may be punished to live in that house, I will never call it home. I was still shivering and the beam of light in my face was getting quite annoying. "Or do I have to drag you home myself?" He spat. I looked up, straining my eyes too see him but I couldn't. "You really would," I said. "Oh sweetheart you know me so well. Now, lets go back before I get upset," he said, and I could hear the edge to his voice. The rain was coming down hard now and it ached to move my body. I felt slightly numb from the bitter cold. "It's freezing," I mumbled between shivers.

The Joker sighed irritably. The flash light left my eyes and it was now pointed to the ground. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, and when they did, the flashlight was back in my eyes again. And then the Joker outstretched his arm. "here you go," he said quietly. I stared at his purple jacket for a moment. But I'm not stupid and being the wet, shivering mess that I was I took. And slipped it on. Of course the jacket was huge, but it was warm. I looked away from the flashlight. And then he clicked it off. I heard the crunching of leaves and then I was being lifted from my precious, warm log. "Put me down!" I yelled. "But doll face, you looked so fragile!" He shrieked. "Put me down," I said more viciously. "But that would just please you." I crossed my arms across my chest like a three year old and looked up at him. He laughed and looked down at me. "You make this incredibly fun Emma." he said. I sighed angrily.

He walked somewhat through the woods. How foolish I was to be looking the wrong direction. His hideout wasn't very far. And then nothing was beneath me and I fell hard on to the ground. I scrunched into a ball. You're going to act childish, aren't you? Yup. He looked down at me. "Honey we're home," he said. But I didn't move. "You can stay in the rain if you want, or you can come inside," he said. I laughed out loud. And he raised an eyebrow at me. It was another day when he actually wasn't wearing clown make-up. Or was it because it was raining? And then he walked over to and kneeled in front of me. He got so close I fell back some, having to use my hand to prop me up. "Emma, you'll freeze out here, and I just adore the blush in your face, when ever I touch you," he said. He put a purple glove against my right cheek. And I just stared at him for a second. I could feel my heart racing and of course, my face burning. But I held myself together.

"Is there food?" I asked. He smiled viciously at me and touched his nose with mine. "Yes, my love," he said. And then he grabbed my wrist and lifted me up from the ground. Well, at least there will be food.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

_There was an awkwardness with sitting in this room. It's beige walls and black furniture cued an alarm in my head. I'd have to remember that night from four years ago. The horrible night that no 6 year old should ever witness. She sat cross-legged in her leather chair. While I sat tensed, upon her leather couch. It was freezing, even though I was wearing my huge purple winter coat. And multi-colored fuzzy gloves. My hands twisted the hat in my lap. I stared at it and she spoke.  
><em>

"_So, how have you been sleeping lately?" she asked. "Fine," I mumbled. The boy next to me fumbled in his seat. He never wants to be here. "Well, that's good. How are your parents doing?" she asked. "Fine," I said. I hated being here too. There was no need for therapy. "Would you like to talk today?" she asked the boy next to me. I heard nothing and glanced to the side. He was looking at me.  
><em>

_Brown eyes and two scars leading away from his lips. "Well?" she questioned him again. And then he looked away from me. "Of course he doesn't," I said. And words fell from her lips and a series of head shaking and nods came from me.  
><em>

"_You know Emma, you're parents told me you've been having nightmares," she said. "They've been lying," I said back. And then the continuance of questions and answers. This seemed to drag on forever. And forever this boy, that I knew so well, continued to sit quietly. Where was it he went after these sessions. He couldn't go home. He had no parents. They were dead. Did he go to a foster home? Of course I never found any of these answers. I didn't even no his name.  
><em>

_And never shut up long enough to let me ask him._

And then my parents came in and yanked me from the room. Yelling, "Keep that demonic child away from my Emma!"

I sat upright in bed. How could I forget so much? . I seen her once a week for the first two years then… once a month for two years…. After that day, I never went back. My parents wouldn't tolerate me being around… Him. And yet they never knew we had sessions together. Every single one. Did my parents even know? I don't think so…. Wow. Four years of my life I wiped clean. All of her visits came back to me now. Me and the Joker have quite a past, and I never knew it.

My forehead was wet and my clothes were sticking to me. Pajamas, shall I say. It was early morning. I could tell. The sun hadn't quite came up yet. I had to get some fresh air. I got up and headed over to my dresser. Tonight, I slept alone. I pulled out a long sleeved sweater and purple sweat pants. I remind you, it was still dark. I hurriedly brushed my hair. And grabbed the white hat on top of the bathroom sink and put it on.

Next, while being as sneaky as my clumsy self can be, I tip-toed down the hall way and into the stairwell. I focused sharply on the stairs beneath me, trying my best not to fall and wake someone. And by the time I reached the bottom, the sweater became hot. But I'll deal with it. I opened the heavy, metal door and entered the garage. It smelled like rust and iron. And oddly enough, I liked the way it smelled. And I noticed the garage was so much colder. I hurried across the long empty garage space and out the side door. Success.

No one was awake. And I wouldn't be gone long. Because of course, I had to walk.

And I walked. Fast down the long driveway, trying to keep myself warm. And I kept walking until finally I made it to a road. And just a little further down, about a block or two, I could see the city of Gotham, itself. I had no idea what I was going to do exactly. I didn't have any money. I was technically a missing person still. I wondered if I would be recognized by anyone. And plus, it was still early morning. And most shops were probably closed.

Finally I made it to some lively part of the city. Inside shops were people getting ready to open. Stray strangers walked the sidewalks. Some with their dogs. I walked down 53rd Street. Huge buildings towered above me. I never did live in the city before. It was a new experience. I walked and at the corner I saw a small coffee shop called BELLA'S. In huge red neon letters. It was open and already jammed with customers. Perfect.

I silently entered and a small waitress, with red hair tied in a bun bounced over to me. "Here," she said hurriedly, leading between filled tables to an empty booth near the window. And then she skipped away. I sat down in the red booth. Now that I was here, I wasn't sure I wanted to be. I had no money. It was busy. They probably needed the extra space. But when I looked around I saw couples sitting together, no food or drinks between them. Talking and laughing. Some people just sat there, using up their wireless internet privileges.

I envied the carefree people. The cute couples whose worst problem was paying their overdue bills. I eyed one couple that was sitting a couple tables down. The girl was a typical blonde, tan, despite the time of the year. And she was crying. "I don't want to leave New York." she was saying. And her boyfriend, or husband, or fiancé, whose face I couldn't see said, "But you're being kicked out sweetheart. You can't stay!" And he chuckled at her stupidity. Which was hilarious, especially when she started pouting. But I could still tell, that some how, she wasn't leaving New York. At least, she wasn't staying here.

And soon, I tired of listening to their arguing, when a waitress, a different one this time, came up to me, "Have you already gotten your check?" she asked. I looked up at her. Her hair was a mess. "Yup, already paid and everything. And the service was great, keep up the good work," I said, and a huge smile spread across her face and she turned and walked away.

I was just getting into the conversation of the two girls across from me when some one sat across from me. My heart pumped, as I expected it to be the Joker. But I noticed no one seemed to take notice. My head turned and this guy was sitting across from me. I looked at him and a huge smile met his pink lips. He had black hair and gorgeous blue eyes. "Hi there," he said. I just mindlessly stared at him. He must've mistaken me for someone else. And I'm guessing my stare must've scared him because his smiled disappeared. "Whoa, I don't have to sit here, I just noticed you sitting here by yourself and all the other booths are full and its cold outside. I didn't-" he wouldn't shut up. "No, its fine," I said, replacing my uninviting face with a new, friendly one. "Oh, okay," he said. And his smile returned, revealing a full set of perfectly white teeth. I smiled back. "I'm Toby," he said. He looked at me, an answer. "Sarah," I lied. I'm not sure why either. He didn't know who I was. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Sarah," he said. "It's nice to meet you," I said. "Can I get you something to drink?" He asked.

Well, I was thirsty. "Sure," I said. And we just sat there, talking while we sipped on hot chocolate and munched on chocolate chip cookies. And I felt guilty for not having any money on me. Coffee was almost four dollars a glass. And I had two. He had one. We talked. I talked about Ally and me, when we were younger. But I mostly listened to him talk about his self. He was born in Michigan where he lived there for 7 years and then him and his family moved to Britain. He just recently moved to Gotham, two months ago after finishing college.

He has a dog, a toy poodle named Boots that his ex girlfriend left with him. We shared a hysterical fit of laughter over that one. And I learned he's afraid to ride bikes because when he was little he hit a telephone pole. And has never rode one since.

"So why are you here Sarah?" he asked. Saying that name at me felt weird. "Oh me? Um me and my friend Mandy moved here not too long ago," my face turned hot. I was sure he knew I was lying. "Where's your friend?" he asked. "Job hunting, like I was suppose to be doing," I said, and giggled. He laughed too. I scanned out the window. My eyes raced over the now lit streets. The sun was up now. And then my heart began to race frantically. I should go back. My eyes caught sight of a clock on the wall. It read 7:52. How long was I gone?

"What's wrong?" he asked. "I should be heading home now," I said slowly, hating I had used the word 'home.' "Oh. Would you like me to walk-" "No!" I said a wee bit too loud. "Sorry, no thanks. I have to go." I got up from the booth and was about to walk. "Emma, wait," he said. I froze for a second and then turned around. "What did you just say?" "Sorry, Sarah, but I wanna know. Will I see you again?" he asked. I shook my head, "Probably not, it's a big city. Thanks for the coffee and cookies, though," I said, smiling. And then I turned to leave. "You're welcome!" He shouted over all the clanking dishes and the waitress's voices.

I could've been hearing things. For all I know he could've never had called me Emma right? Right. Anyways, I have worst things to worry about. Like how I'm not…there… and its 8. I hurried through the streets taking the turns I remembered and sure enough I saw an opening to the woods. Other roads branched off in other directions. But I could never forget the small curve to the right when entering. Street number 2. I hurried fast down the road, literally running at full speed. I could just make out some figures surrounding the Joker's van. Three people maybe. But I couldn't see the Joker. So I kept running and slowed when I knew I'd soon become visible. And it wasn't until I reached the three new faces did the Joker appear. And Charity and Mikey from behind him.

"Well, we're just about ready," said the Joker, his eyes finally flickering in my direction. He narrowed his eyes at me, his cold black eyes. I stood frozen, like I always did when he looked at me. He licked his lips and then spoke, "Where did you go?" He asked bitterly. The fear was back in me. I was hoping neither Charity or Mikey got in any kind of trouble because of me.

"I just went for a walk," I said, ignoring his eyes and staring over at Charity. She was shaking, either from fear or from the cold weather. Her arms wrapped around Mikey who she kept close. Pushing his little body into her own. The Joker sighed anxiously, "Well now that you're back, get in!" he shouted, his hand pointing to the car. "EVERYONE!" he yelled louder as I walked mindlessly past him and into the back seat of his van. Charity followed right behind me, hopping in and sitting Mikey between her and me. Two of the Joker's henchmen sat in the seats in front of us, while the Joker sat passenger. And then the driver hopped in. She had jet black hair and pretty blue eyes. But her face was scarred. A huge scar stood out across her eye. And another down her right cheek. She had a smug look on her face, even smugger when she caught me looking from the rearview mirror.

To another bank. That's where we ended up going. Always the bank and yet I never exactly knew what the joker did with all the money he got. Maybe he was just felt like being cliché. But we ended up going to a bank. Small in size and was oddly located between a coffee shop and a RadioShack store. We all were ordered out of the van and I stood freezing next to Charity and Mikey. The one girl had parked behind the bank, to keep all eyes from seeing us. I felt sort of claustrophobic, like the walls of the buildings around us were closing in on me. With no way to get out. The sky was still a grey color. Blocking us from the sun's warmth.

"Shood we go through the firah exit?" asked the girl with black hair in an accent. "Yes, Angie," said the Joker anxiously, "You're not blonde that's why I had you park here!" "Sheesh! I'm sowry," she mumbled. The Joker looked at the other two guys. "Okay boys, it's just the same old. We go in, you get what you need, we come out," he said. "How much boss?" the big guy, with all the tattoos. "Whatever your cold heart desires Patrick," He chuckled coldly. "But this time Henry," he began and the shorter guy, with the bald head straightened up, "Leave the girls alone!" I shuddered. The Joker laughed and then he finally turned to look at me but his eyes rolled over to Charity. "You two get in the car," he said. And I felt a little bit better to know they weren't joining.

I watched as the Joker shut his eyes and then opened them, looking at me. I saw something unexplainable in his eyes which made me gasp for my breath but then he just stared at me, a smile forming along his red lips and his eyes were dark again. "And Emma, you get the best part of all," he said. He outstretched his arm, almost like he was reaching for me. The wind blew, I shivered, and the way he looked just then, it gave me an odd feeling. "Can we git goin now, it freezing out her!" shouted Angie. "Shut up!" yelled the Joker turning his head to her, "Or you'll die," he said simply, and he began laughing. She shrugged her shoulders but kept quiet. The Joker put his arm down and looked over at me again.

"Dollface, hold my hand will you? I'm sure you'll like this," he said. I shuddered again and walked over to him, grasping his left hand with my right. And for some reason, doing this always felt shocking. Like there really was a connection here. "Alright Angie," he said, "Open the door." And it took me a moment to realize what she was doing. First cutting deep into a box of wires set up next to the door. And next she carefully pulled apart the door handle. And then she opened it gently, and not a siren went off. First the henchmen went in along with Angie and then me and the Joker walked in together.

Immediately there was panic. The fire door turned left into the main room of the bank. I stood slightly behind the Joker, still holding on to his hand but trying to keep myself hidden from the public. The Joker raised a gun into the air, "Ladies and gentlemen," he announced. And I could see the other three, already masked in clown masks, running out from behind him, guns in their hands too. The people in this room panicked. Screeching and moving about, aimlessly driving themselves toward walls and desks. "SHUT UP!" the Joker screamed and it was like everyone froze. They didn't move and they didn't utter a word. "we're just here for a daily withdrawal, " he said, laughing in the faces of the frightened people around him. And then he pulled me out from behind me.

I heard one person gasp but everyone else just stared at me. And they way they did… they didn't care. I sighed and looked away from the faces around me. If someone died right now, I'd hate myself. I really would. The Joker laughed. "That's much better," he said, looking around us at all the innocent faces. Already the other three were getting as much money as they could. And now I knew why we came to this bank on the outskirts of Gotham. It was miles away from the police station. The Joker pulled my arms, jerking me towards him so that I was facing him. He had already put the gun away. His right hand grabbed my chin so I'd look up at him. I already had tears in my eyes. And I wasn't sure why. Probably because I had a bad feeling about all of this. Like I knew someone was going to die or something.

"Leave that poor girl alone!" shouted some guy from behind me. The Joker looked past me and over at him, "Poor girl? Hmmm, no I'm sure she likes it," the Joker laughed quietly and returned his gaze to mine, "Don't cry sweetheart, everything will be okay." He laughed and then pressed his lips against mine. Everything became lost and for a moment, it was almost bliss. But then I heard a voice all too familiar, "Emma?…. Emma! EMMA!" she shouted. I pulled away quickly and looked for her. And then my eyes saw her. My mom, hunched on the ground, shaking, with tears flooding her eyes. I couldn't speak. And the joker followed my gaze, a smile pulling at his lips. "No," I whispered, "You leave her alone." But he just stared over at my mother. "Leave her alone!" I yelled at him, making his eyes return to mine. His hand tightened around mine. He gave me a deadly stare but I only stared back. Then he turned and shouted, "Come on pets, we're leaving." Angie turned around, "But boss, I needs me more money!" she said. "Emma…" my mom said, crawling forward a bit, almost as if she didn't believe it was me. "No mom," the words barely able to escape my lips. "Stay." She shook her head at me. "But Emma, what happened? " she said. Her tears now uncontrollable. And before I knew it, the Joker was dragging me back to the fire exit and into the van where I crawled back to the back seat.

Everyone quickly piled in as I thought carefully. Why was my mom here? And then the van was moving again. And I was leaving my mom again.


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

Another lonesome night. The air was chilly, and it was quite windy. I sat, tortured by my mother's face, in the Joker's car. We never went back afterwards. He kicked his henchmen out and we drove away. Out of town and to another somewhat deserted area on the outskirts of Gotham. I've been sitting here in this seat for hours. Literally. The Joker roamed the outside of the car. Pacing back and forth. Why should this incident even be a big deal to him? It should be a big deal to me! I'm the daughter, he's the psychopathic serial killer. And finally he just sat on the top of his van.

Weird I know. That's what he was though. Very strange.

I heard him climbing and the whole van shook. And now its just been very quiet. A ringing in my ear was driving me nuts. I wasn't sure how long he intended to keep us here. Along a deserted road next to an open field on one side and miles of trees on the other. But I had no chance of surviving this horrid boredom. And so I opened the car door, quietly, and climbed out. It felt great to stretch. My legs practically numb from sitting there for what seemed like forever. The sound of the wind and birds in the trees was oddly loud. A huge transfer from my completely silent spot in the Joker's van. I didn't bother to shut the door. It just hung open.

First I looked up at the stars. It was amazing how many there were visible tonight. Usually back at home or at 'his' place, the stars were there, but the city sort of blocked them. But this was… Wow. Beautiful. Mind-boggling. That sort of thing. And then I walked to the back of the van. Where a small metal ladder led to the top of his van. I sighed. I hate being alone. Even if it means I have to sit next to a very strange clown. Who's own perdition involves a knife and a smile. I climbed quietly, but the metal bars were wet with dew. And I almost slipped twice. Finally though, I was aggravated at my clumsiness and just lunged myself to the top. Where I pulled my self up, a sharp end of the ladder snatching and ripping the bottom of my purple sweat pants. Ugh.

So there I was. Hands and knees on the top of his van and he sat, scrunched up. His back to me. I sighed again. And turned my back on him. Sitting the same way, my knees tucked under my chin. And at first it was quiet. Which had gotten very annoying to begin with. Which was the whole reason I came out here in the bone chilling air in the first place. And I looked at the stars again. The top of his van was slightly wet as well, but I didn't really care. I laid back. Finally on my back, to look at the full view of the stars. And that's when the Joker finally turned around.

"And they call me strange," he commented. Joining me and laying next to me. Being this close, like this, at this time was a little dizzy-making. And suddenly the cold air felt good against my hot face. And then I could feel the Joker staring at me. I turned my head in his direction as well, and stared back at him. And you think the dark would make him look less human. Which was actually the opposite. Well for me at least. His usually coal black eyes glittered with flecks of brown in the dim light. And for some reason, the scars just showed more. I hate awkward silences. And before I could, the Joker sat up straight. And before I knew it, had disappeared off the side of the van. Which was also very strange. But then I heard the van's engine start up and I began to panic. Hurrying over to the ladder as fast and as careful as I could. Until I heard music which made me wince. A high-pitched woman's voice filled the air among solemn playing music. Violins, piano, and bells could be heard. Ugh. And then I heard the Joker laughing.

And before I was even half way down, I felt two hands on my hips, tugging me backwards and planting me on the ground. He spun me around, grabbing both my wrists, and pulled me into. "Tell me love, have you ever danced with the devil in pale moonlight?" the Joker asked. He released one of my wrists, and his hand slid around to the small of my back. While his other hand, his left hand, held my right hand. He towered over me. Which made me realize that he must be at least 4 or 5 inches taller than me. I stared straight at his green waist coat. Actually nervous to look in his eyes. We sort of danced there, only my dancing skills are very poor and I mostly just stood there.

"Tell me doll face. What's your favorite color?" he asked. And the randomness of this brought me back some. "What?" I said, looking up to him now, finally meeting eye to eye. A smile spread across his face. "What's your favorite color?" I stared at him for a moment. "Blue," I said. He closed his eyes, as if thinking. And then I felt pressure on the small of my back. And I was pushed into him even more. "So, Emma," he began, breaking our moment's silence, "Do you think I'm a monster?" His eyes finally flickered open again to meet mine. And I remained quiet. How should I answer this question. Really? He was a monster. He killed with no regret. With no remorse. He hurt me. A lot. Even if it was awhile ago. But then again, he never really was a monster to me. Actually these past few weeks….weren't that bad.

"You were to me," I said coldly. And the Joker smiled at me. "I was?" he questioned. "I…" I tried to speak but I couldn't. I didn't no what to say as the Joker was too exotic. I sighed. "I'm getting tired," I said, releasing my hand from his and pulling away from him. "No, Emma. Not this time," he said, pulling me back. "No, this time you have to say it." I paused and immediately knew what he wanted. I shook my head. And he looked at me, now frowning. I narrowed my eyes. His false face won't fool me tonight. I will not say it. "Why so serious?" I asked him. A smile pulling at my own lips as I realized I used his own line against him. But his face was dead. And slowly my smile began to fade. His hand grabbed my chin.

"You are truly beautiful when you smile," he said, pulling my face loser to his and placing his lips against my forehead. I just stood there, with his chin resting on the top of my head. Then in a fast movement, my legs were off the ground. I gasped out, startled. He was holding me. "Shall we go home, sweetheart? So that this moment never has to end?" He asked without really asking. Carrying me back into my seat, all the while I was blushing like a school girl.

I stretched, cold and stiff, in my room, or so you could call it that. White everything. Except the red roses and the bright blue jewelry box with no contents. I bought that. Just to add some color to this room. Crap. I was decorating? I suddenly shook. It was quite cold in here. I rubbed my arms. I wasn't quite tired. And knew it would be hours before I actually fell asleep. It was too cold outside. Besides, I wasn't sure I wanted to be out there alone, in the dark. All though I'm not sure I could run into anything worse than what I'm in now. Too many things happened and I can't believe in the same day. It's been a long day. My mom was here. In Gotham. I have no idea why she is here, but she is. Maybe to look for me? Maybe because she's gone insane? I'm not positive. But she's here, in this town.

And then there was Toby. Who I am now certain knows my real name. And how? I'm not sure either. I hate these questions. Where the answers aren't even close to me. I sat down, frustrated. My bed was nice and soft. Clean, too. I shut my eyes. Maybe I could fall asleep.

Creeaaak. Of course here, that would be impossible. My eyes shot opened and stared at the white ceiling. Which was awfully bright and my eyes watered. I licked my chapped lips. Damn autumn wind. Damn white ceiling. Damn it all! Everything is just so confusing. I yawned. A good one at that. Which felt relieving. And now time to face him. I sat up on my elbows. "Ahh, my sleeping beauty awakens," mocked the Joker, "And without true love's kiss?" I scrunched my face, "I never was the fairy-tale type." The Joker laughed, "I couldn't imagine." Ugh. He was in my room, leaning against the door. Like always. Coming in to 'chat,' like he does. I sighed. "I'm really tired." And I wasn't, but I was really tired of his manipulative bull crap. So I was hoping he got the double meaning.

"Long day?" he asked, smiling. Thoughts of my mother's horrified face came to me. I turned my face away from his. "Oh don't pout doll face, it's really not your best angle." I shot him a dirty look and he laughed. "There's the fire in those eyes I was looking for," he said in such a voice I knew I should be afraid, but I couldn't manage to feel that way. He stood, his red lips smiling back at me. Dark, dark, dark, brown eyes boring into my own. That devilish look about his posture. And all I could do was smile back. "I'm Emma," I said. And the Joker's face turned confused. He was about to say something, but I beat him there, "What's your name?" I asked. His smile returned, "Jack Napier."

I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he telling the truth? No, no, he couldn't be. I laid back down on my back. "I hate liars," I said. "As do I," said the Joker in a sharp tone. I sighed. He lies about everything. That is that. "Emma," he said. And it was the only way my name sounded right. Coming from his voice, in that tone. When anyone else said… Emma….. It sounded so awkward. I could almost see his patience burning low. "What," I said sharply. "Listen to me carefully." And the tone of his voice made me think it was something important. "I," he said, stalling.

"I love you, Emma," he said, and the hint of humor in his voice was obvious. I shot straight up. "SHUT UP!" I screamed. I hated when those words were used falsely. Those words are not meant to come from his mouth. Although the room did get quiet. "At least, now I do," he said, a little more serious. I stared coldly back at him but he wouldn't stare at me. "You know Emma, when I found out you were coming here… I wanted to kill you." Ooohh what a surprise. I bet he still does. "I wanted to see you struggle, and suffer in my hands for leaving me." He stopped for a moment. "As if I ever meant to leave you as a child! I did have two parents who weren't fond of psycho children!" I replied.

The Joker laughed and then began pacing the room. "I didn't care then Emma. I wanted you dead. But every time I got the chance…" He kept pacing. Don't tell me now is when he loses his train of thought. "What," I said. "I don't know myself, Emma. I just couldn't. And now. I love you!" He said it like it was obvious. Which it wasn't. Then he stopped pacing and walked over to me. "I hated you Emma," he began, looking me straight in the eye, "More than you ever hated me-" I was about to speak but his finger went to his lips, "Don't interrupt. I hated you more than you ever hated me, and now I absolutely adore you. Your hair." And he picked up a strand of my hair, rubbing it between his two, gloved fingers. He looked at his hands, and slowly pulled his gloves off. I noticed his hand placed on my bed, between my legs, and how much he has leaned in to me, forcing me back onto my elbows.

"Your eyes," he said, looking at me. "Your lips" His eyes glanced at my lips and then shut. "Your beautiful smile." He opened his eyes again. "Your voice. Your laugh. Your skin." He placed his warm hand against my neck. "See, Emma. I'm madly in love," he said. And although I was tired of all the lies and the games, I couldn't help but think, maybe this time, he was telling the truth. My hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder, pushing him away some so I could sit up more. I hadn't noticed the tears in my eyes, which I regretted, until I saw the Joker looking at them. The Joker smiled, "Tears of joy, my love?" He asked. I smiled, letting out a small laugh. Then I shook my head, "No, no, no. No this can't be happening. This is another one of your games. And I don't want to be apart of it!"

The Joker shook his head, "No Emma, I'm done playing games with you. It's just shoving away what's real. You're not my toy anymore. Your beautiful and you're mine." I looked away from his eyes. "If you loved me so much you would've let me stay home." I didn't want to look at his expression. It could be the end of me.  
>"Would you have stayed Emma? Or would you have come back?" I now met his eyes. They were trying to pry the truth from me. I shook my head. "Why would you ask that?" "Because Emma. I know you love me. I know you do. Which is why I'm that much crazier for you," and with that he laughed to himself, "Tell me truthfully, would you have stayed Emma? Or would you have come back to me?" I paused. There was no easy way out of this. I open my mouth, I had to say something. But…. Defeat. I shut my mouth and stared away from him. "Exactly," he said.<p>

"I didn't say anything!" I shouted back. My eyes were pouring with tears. By now the Joker was standing and pacing my room again. "You didn't have to," he said. "My life would be so much better without you! That's the truth. I'm sure if I went home and knew I could honestly live a life without you, I would. A happy, and fulfilled life at that. I don't need you Joker. All I need is my own life back again. Without you."

I startled myself with how much I said. How much I just lied about. If I went home, I would come back. I am madly in love with the Joker, even if it defies all of humanity, I am. And now I was expecting something. To be shouted at. Hit, cut. Something. But no, not this. No. The Joker paced to the other end of the room. He opened a white drawer at his white desk and pulled out something metallic. Then he marched back to me, dropping the item in front of me. "Go home then, Emma."

I was startled to say the least. I looked up at the Joker's crazy eyes, confused. "I'm tired of you Emma. It was inevitable. One day you were going to bore me to death so just leave. And take what's her face with you!" He brushed his jacket sleeves up his arms and then turned away from me, stomping out the door way and slamming the door shut. He couldn't be serious. I looked at the keys sitting in front of me. Leave? Just like that? Was he serious! Did I bore him? Was he really, truly finished with me? I bit my lip, feeling the wave of emotions flowing through me. Fine. I can call his bluff.

I pounced off the bed. Tired and hungry, but everything went away. I hurriedly grabbed a black jacket from inside the giant white dresser. And then snatched the keys and left the room. I ran down the stairs. Until I reached the second floor and I hurriedly jogged down to Charity's room. Any minute now the Joker will be right there. To snatch the keys back and laugh in my face. He couldn't have said everything with such a straight face and not have meant it. Of course, the Joker is a compulsive liar. Just like me. I stood in front of Charity's door. With out knocking, I swung it open. Charity eyed me, startled at first and then relieved. Little Mikey laid his head in her lap, sleeping.

"What's-" she began, but I didn't let her finish. "We're leaving here!" I said. She looked at me. "What?" Her tone was slightly annoyed. "Leaving. Here. Now." I said, quickly. Pacing through her room to grab her things, like her clothes and Mikey's toys. "Are you serious?" she asked, gently moving Mikey so she could stand. "Serious," I repeated. Then she joined my frantic rush and began packing her things. "Is he going to kill us?" she asked. Her voice sounded really shaky. I stopped, and stood up, looking at her. She was rushing to throw her and Mikey's things inside a black garbage bag. "No, he told me to leave, for us to leave, " I said. And she stopped too, giving me a weird look. "To leave? Just like that?" she asked. I nodded my head. "What's the catch?" I looked over at her doorway. The other side of the hallway revealed a door I recognize as the "planning room." Where their get-togethers would be. And I couldn't help but hear shouting, although faint, and what sounded like things breaking.

"Well?" asked Charity. I flinched, "No catch, just leave," I said quietly. She shook her head but continued to pack.

And then we were outside. In front of Charity's little white car. She threw the bags in the trunk and then took Mikey's sleeping form from me. She went in the back seat and sat with Mikey, who barely flickered an eye open at all the commotion. And then I jumped in the driver's seat.

I thought about finding my mom, but I have no idea where to start. And as soon as the car started, I saw the there was hardly any movement in the gas gage. It just barely sat there above E. I sighed. "Sorry," said Charity, her voice shivering from the cold as she slipped her sweater off, draping it over Mikey's shivering body. "Well at least we can get away from here," I said. Which is what we did. No sooner did I put the car in drive though, did the 'low fuel,' light spring on.

"So where are we going?" she asked. "No where special," I said, not caring if this confused her or not. But I knew where I was going. Or at least for now. To Bella's. Although I had no money, they at least had a small parking lot, where we could easily hide out for now and sleep until morning. And by the time I had pulled into Bella's lot, Charity was already half asleep. "Where…" Was all she managed. And then I turned the car off. That was a good question to ask…. Where?


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

Tap. Tap. Tap. Ugh, what is that noise. Tap. Tap. Stop….. TAP, thump. And then there was a really cold gust of wind and an ice cold hand on my neck. My eyes shot open and I cocked my head to the side, staring back into Charity's perfect blue eyes whose golden locks covered her face. A smile made this whole situation so much better. The Joker telling me to leave, sleeping in a car, and having the most painful stiff neck. "About time you woke up," Her voice chimed and her smile grew bigger. The blush of her cheeks were darker today, but probably due to the cold weather. "Wh-what time is it?" I asked looking at her dashboard. "Hmm, almost 9," she said. My teeth started chattering. "Come inside, Emma. It's freezing out here and I have some money." Everything was a little too 'okay.'

I looked passed Charity's figure. And something was missing. Someone was missing… "Where's Mikey?" I asked. I straightened up and my back cracked. "Calm, Emma. He's inside. I met this really nice guy and he offered to buy us some food. Come in. I have money for you if he decides to become cheap all of a sudden." And then she laughed her laugh like bells. I shook my head some, trying to clear my morning daze. And the Charity got out of the door way for me. My whole body quivered. The car was no warmer than the outside.

"Good," Charity said, "Now come on." And then she walked ahead and I followed her. Looking through the windows I could well tell Bella's was packed again. Was this a daily thing? She opened the door and I was immediately hit with the scent of brewing coffee and cookies. And for some reason I had to inhale sharply. And hold back. I felt like crying. Charity turned back to look at me and locked her hand around my wrist. "Come on," she said. But I yanked my hand back, and without thinking, gave her an aggravated stare. "Don't," I said. Her smile dropped," Sorry Emma. But come on." I followed behind her. Until she led me to the other side of the café. There was little Mikey sitting high in a booth. And next to him, Toby. "Oh…" I said. Charity shoved him in the booth, so that I was sitting across from Mikey. "Sarah?" Toby said.

"Sarah?" questioned Charity. "Hi," I said quietly. "Wha…." began Charity. She looked between me and Toby. "Oh? You two have already met? That's just great!…. Wait…" Charity looked over at me. "Sarah?" she questioned again. "That is your name right?" asked Toby. "No, It's Emma," Charity chimed in. I looked over at Toby. "It's Emma," I said. "Oh….." said Toby. "I lied. I'm sorry. It's just, you know. Big city, strange people. I thought I should keep up the whole 'stranger danger' precautions." Toby beamed a wide, toothy smile at me. "Of course!" He said, "Very understandable. And of course I'm guessing this is Mandy, right?" He laughed a little and Charity joined in. "Emma, did you tell him that?" I smiled, too. Although it felt awkward and out of place.

Charity just kept staring at him. And Mikey. While we ate breakfast sandwiches and coffee which Toby so kindly offered to pay for. "So, Emma, how's the job hunting going?" he asked. Charity looked at me but continued at her sausage, egg, and cheese bagel. I looked across at Mikey. Cheese covered his face and bits of bagel covered his plate. He ordered just that. A cheese bagel. And he took his small hot wheels truck and drove it over the bagel bits. "Quite terribly, actually," I said, finally looking over at him. Something about his eyes made me think he was challenging me. "We're probably leaving Gotham." His brows furrowed. "Oh no! Two perfect young ladies like you are leaving me!" he said, laughing. Charity laughed with him. "But Emma's right. We're leaving. We have no where else to go so we're just…. Going!" she exclaimed.

"Mikey," I said. He looked up at me. "Emma, when is school start?" He asked. I smiled. Charity said, "Soon Mikey. Soon." I lifted the napkin up to his face and wiped the cheese off. "Thanks Emma," said Charity. "You are too cute," I said to Mikey, who just resumed his hot wheels derby racing. "So Charity, your this guy's mother? How is that possible, you're not that old," said Toby. His eyes kept flickering over in my direction. This made me uneasy. "Well, he's actually my nephew," she said a bit quieter so as to not have Mikey hear. "Ooh," said Toby. "And I'm his Mommy. She died giving birth," her voice choked a bit. I could see tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, excuse me," she said. And then she was up and off to the bathroom. "Oh, I think I should go-" I said. "Non sense, Emma! I know these girl things, too. I think she'd rather be in there by her self." I sighed. And returned my attention over at Mikey's race. His hot wheel just made a jump of the biggest bagel piece. Amazing. "So Emma." Snap back to reality. "Where do you and Charity plan to be heading?" I looked over at him, "Oh I'm not sure. We're just trying to get by," I replied. He stared right at me, "You know, I have an extra room at my place if you and-" "No! That's nice of you, but no. Really, we're fine." He laughed, "Emma! You and Charity slept in a car last night. In Gotham! You know what kind of freaks walk these streets? Have you seen the news lately? You know, the one serial killer, what's his name…" I shook my head and look at Mikey. "Come on, you know." "Nope, I haven't been here long." He laughed, "I can picture him, just not his name…" I looked over at Toby, who was staring at me. "Who?" questioned Charity. "No one," Toby replied. "Sorry about that you two, I really am."

She looked over at Mikey and reached across the table to brush his hair aside, "Would you like some more Sprite?" she asked him. Mikey shook his head. "So Charity… While you were gone, I was telling Emma about the extra room I have at my apartment," Toby said. No. I can just tell Charity is falling for this guy.  
>"Oh really?" Charity said. "Yeah and you could stay there until you got things together." I sighed. And I could feel Charity staring at me. "Toby, that's really nice of you but we can handle things on our own. We're big girls," she smiled over at him. Thank God. "Thanks anyways." Toby looked over at Charity, "Non sense Charity. It would be no burden to me and I know the dangers of Gotham. You can't afford to be sleeping in your car at night. The Joker could get you, or any of the mobs." I shuttered, and Toby caught sight of this. "We'll just leave today," I explained, "And we'll be out of Gotham way before sun down."<p>

"We have no gas, Emma," said Charity, looking at me. And I knew in that moment's glance, defeat. "See, I'll drive us all over there and you can get you car towed to my place. Stay just tonight so by morning, you'll be well and ready to leave here." Charity looked at me," Well…" she said, quietly. And then both of them were staring at only me. I looked at Mikey who was still lost in his hot wheels world. My gut instinct told me 'No. Do not go with him.' But my pride and caring side said Charity needed this break. I sighed and mumbled, "Fine." "Yes!" Charity shrieked. And then Toby looked over at me, smiling. "I need the company, it's quite boring." The Joker…. My stomach was already churning at the remembrance of his last words to me. I choked on my own tears. And I'm sure Toby noticed. And I was sure Charity was lost in his charm to see what I saw.

"Well, are you ladies about finished here? We should get going, beat afternoon traffic," said Toby. And with every word, I could feel his eyes boring into mine.

~MEANWHILE~

Fire was sprouting from the top of an ancient building. Which used to be an old hotel, which closed about 10 years ago. Then, reopened as a bank about 3 years ago. What a sight to see. On the very eastern side of Gotham, where the river was visible. The huge building was slowly engulfed in flames. The fire made crackling noises, and with each a new part of the building crumbled. The smell of smoke filled the air and hundreds of people gathered around to watch the marvelous happening. It was indeed, beautiful, in its own twisted way. Police cars and fire trucks surrounded the building. The firemen sprayed water along every inch of the burning mess but it was very visible that it had no effects.

Just a moment ago the bank was empty. No one was there, it was Sunday. It seemed like just another ordinary day. But then a loud boom shook the ground and echoed across Gotham. One of the largest explosions ever. And now the building was history. The firemen's efforts were useless. And so everyone just stared at the inevitable. The building will be a pile of ashes. In minutes only.

The Joker was hiding out in the building next door. He killed his way to the 7th floor. Everyone was too distracted now to worry about him and his henchmen. The Joker looked out at the building, smiling with pleasure. "Joker, why we do this huh?" asked Angie, "All that precious money is gone!" She screeched and turned her back on the sight. "It's beautiful isn't it?" The Joker humorously stated. Angie sighed, "How do you expect to pay me?" Her voice was angry. "I don't plan to," he said. Angie clenched her fists and turned to face him, "Then I qwit!" The Joker turned to face her. A blank expression on his face. "Walk through those doors, I dare you," he said. And his voice was so menacing, you could almost tell he had had his heart ripped from him. Angie turned away from his dead eyes. And the Joker continued to look outside. Some flames were flecked with gold. Just like her eyes.

The building just burned. And the Joker laughed at 'their' pathetic attempt to put it out. "Angie," said Patrick. Angie lifted her head in Patrick's direction, "Whad?" "Go warm up the van," he said. Angie smiled, "Fuck off." Patrick stepped toward her, "What did you say?" "FUCK OFF!" Patrick laughed, "You whore, go warm up the van, that's your job right?" Angie lifted her hand and gave him the finger. "You slut!" he yelled. Her head shot up, "Shut up you fat ass or I'll slit your throat!" The Joker turned around, "How about both of you silence yourselves or I'll do that for you," said the Joker. "Did ya hear what he called me?" whined Angie, like some 9 year old. The Joker laughed, "And I'll make sure you stay that way forever."

Angie stomped out of sight and out of the building. The Joker's tone was enough to make your skin crawl. He was not joking. Ironic, right? The Joker turned back and stared out the window. His eyes more dead than death itself. Emma left him, he left himself. The Joker was now just the devil's puppet. At least now he could get back to the way things use to be. Even though, things will never be the same.

~Emma~

Of course things were worse than I had expected. His place wasn't just all the way nowhere, where you couldn't find him. It was also amongst many other 'ghetto' apartments, deep within the outskirts of Gotham. Where factories covered the view of everything. And yet, Charity still seemed hopeful. I sighed. This was not a good idea. Take my advice and always go with your gut feeling. It's usually always right.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

What happened with 'just for the night.' I have to admit, Toby had good taste. Leather furniture and a pull out bed. White walls decorated with valuable art pieces. A small, quaint kitchen, with brown, wooden tiling and silver metallic appliances. And very soft bed sheets. But this was no home to me. No matter how long its been.

Currently, two months when we drove away and into Toby's quaint apartment complex. We had planned to stay a day… or two. But it only took a day for Charity to bee sucked in. And it was quite annoying. I don't know if its possible to say or think for that matter, but I feel like I've been placed in a more bitter hell. Charity and Toby clicked. The first few nights, Charity and Mikey took the guest room and I slept on the pull out bed. And then, Charity and Toby shared a room. And I bunked with Mikey. It was immoral. Something was slowly being sucked from Charity. Everyday she seemed to fade away from reality. And every night I had to suffer through Charity's laughter. What had once sounded like bells, had now turned into a death toll for me.

Mind you, Charity still took care of Mikey as if he were her own flesh and blood. But the way she acted. It made me want to punch babies. Okay, not really. But it was slowly doing something. To all of us. And since my stay here, Toby and I hardly interacted. It was like there was some strange piece of information right there in front of us, something we both knew, that this would turn out bad, for someone. Only I couldn't figure out what it was. Everyday I pull Charity aside and remind her we're still in Gotham. The first couple of days, this had bugged her. It brought back her woe for her sister's death. But then, she just smiled and said, "It's not that bad of a place." She met eyes with Toby that day and I knew. Damn it all. Charity and I were supposed to be there for each other. And now, once again, I was alone.

I know how I am supposed to feel. Relieved, happy, fulfilled, alive. I'm supposed to be getting on the next bus, plane, taxi ride, and get the hell out of here. Head home. But the thing is, I couldn't do it. I know why. But I refuse to admit it. If I do, I may truly go crazy. I really hadn't left his apartment since the day we got here. A couple of times I went outside, but I either felt extremely alone, surrounded by nothing. Or Charity and Toby and Mikey came along, and the sight of them, like they were a family, sickened me. A lot. So I just stayed home.

So here I am.

Sitting on the somewhat sticky leather cushions of Toby's leather couch watching cartoons. The only other thing on this early ( remind you, no cable) was the news. And I wanted no part of what was going on outside of these four walls. Besides, Mikey was enjoying them very much. I heard a fit of laughter as Charity came prancing out of the bathroom, and Toby right behind her. He stood silently, staring at me and then turned to Charity.

"Shouldn't you say something to her?" he asked. My brows furrowed together. I looked questionly at Charity, who read my mind. "It has nothing to do with that,' she suddenly said. Her perfectly made up face, dropped. "I'm worried about you," she said. She looked over at Toby. "We're worried about you." I think I'm going to be sick. She sounds just like my… mom. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Like you should be worried about me," I said. But her face was serious. "I won't lie, Emma," she said. "You look like hell, but worse. You're pale white. You always look tired. I think you're really sick, Emma." I laughed, suddenly. Very loud and awkward and they both just stared at me. Even Mikey's laughter had vanished as he tried to concentrate on what was going on.

"Emma, I thought this is what you wanted," she said. "What?" I said, almost menacingly. "You think I enjoy bunking with Mikey while you two love birds spend every second together. I bet you think I actually enjoy the little family you've created. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you! But all this is doing is reminding me of what I don't have!" I stopped to breathe for a second and cut off Charity before she could say another word. "Really, I hate living here. But where else am I to go? I have no one but you Charity and I've already lost you. I should really pack up and leave. I really should, but the thing is, I'd probably drive myself off a bridge right about now."

Charity's face hardened, "You think I don't understand what you're going through?" A smile spread across my face, "Exactly." My words ended coldly and I could tell Charity had turned on me, "I lost my sister, Emma. To the Joker. And I had to raise Mikey on my own." I stared at Charity. She has only tried to help me. But there's no helping me. I'm a very strange girl. I shook my head. "You're right," I said, despite how I actually felt. Nothing would be accomplished here and it would only make this perdition worse if I were to upset Charity. She still frowned at me, "Emma….." She just walked away. And an awkward silence fell between Toby and I. I shifted in my seat and Mikey continued watching cartoons. Toby cleared his throat.

I looked up at him. There was always something I wanted to ask him. I looked up at him and just as he was about to walk off I called for him. He looked smugly over at me. "What?" he asked. Now I cleared my throat. "How do you know who I am?" I asked. Toby laughed at my question, "What do you mean? You've lived here the past two months." I sighed, "I mean before that!" Toby's face transformed into a mass of confusion, guilt, and something sinister. "I don't know what-" "Don't give me that!" I hissed at him. "I would've believed you were just some stranger had it not been for that fact that you called me Emma. Not Sarah."

He lifted his eyebrows at me, "Now why would I call you Sarah? Your name's Emma." I laughed, he couldn't possibly think I was that stupid. "I'm not that stupid!" I said. He frowned at me. "Tell me, Toby, and be serious," I said. He shook his head at me and just then Charity walked back into the room. She looked between Toby and me. "Well…." she began, "Anyways, Toby, Mikey, and I were going to go to Eastgate Park. Did you want to come?" I didn't. "Where's that at?" I asked. Charity looked over at Toby. "It's on the eastern side of Gotham," he admitted. My eyes grew big. That was on the other side of the city. "Where we came from?" I asked. Charity frowned, "I'm sorry, Emma. I never should've asked." I shook my head, "No, you shouldn't have. But I'd like to come anyways." Charity gave me an odd gaze. I don't blame her. I would look weirdly at me too. "Actually if you could just drop me off at Chateau Place, I would love that." My mind literally went blank. That is indeed the last place I would ever want to go to. Chateau Place. Huge romantic condominiums and equipped with a huge dancing hall about 6 stories high overlooking the river. The exact place where my entire life had been changed forever. "Chateau Place?" she said looking at me.

I thought hard, desperate for a reasonable answer that didn't make me look crazier than I already do. "Yeah…uh, it's like one of the richest condominiums in Gotham. And it has a giant ballroom which overlooks the river. I'm hoping maybe they'll have tours or something and I can check it out." I tried to look as delighted and happy as I could. It really was like I was talking to my parents. It was kind of creeping me out. Charity's face brightened but I could still see the suspicion in Toby's eyes. "Uh," Charity looked at Toby. "We could do that right?" Toby looked at Charity and smiled, "Of course. It's right along the way."  
>"By the way," I started, "What's in Eastgate park that would make you drive an hour to get there?" Charity looked over at Mikey, "A Festival!" Mikey's eyes brightened and he jumped off the couch, "Festibal!" he shouted and he hurriedly ran over and slipped on his shoes.<p>

I forgot when two lovers are driving they're always holding hands and making those kissy faces to each other. It's quite disgusting if I may voice my opinion. Charity kept stealing glances at Toby, who stole glances at her as well. And every once in a while, they'd catch each other looking, and silently giggle to each other. Does that not bring up your lunch or what? Mikey fell asleep, no doubt within the first ten minutes we started driving. And I resulted in watching passing trees and the occasional building for entertainment. Which was boring, for lack of a better word.

Station 97.1 was on, the station with all the cheesy 90's music and country love songs. The exact station that would one day cause me to beat a radio with a bat. Taylor Swift's 'Our Song', was playing and I won't lie, I just about puked. I looked into the rearview mirror and caught Toby staring at me. I felt utterly uncomfortable and so I shrunk down in my seat and looked out my window.

The closer we got to Gotham City's insides the more buildings I began to see. Short, nameless buildings, but tons of gas stations. Then healthier, taller buildings, but still not glamorous. This was going to take awhile. And now I'm put in the situation to start thinking.

Maybe it was the third day I returned home?..

_Ally, "Mom, she's hurt and very scared. It's very plausible that she wouldn't want to talk about anything that's happened." Mom sighed and wiped her tear-streaked face with a tissue. "But we're her family!" she cried out. "We're here for her. She won't even mumble a word about what's happened. I fear she's gone nuts!" Mom sat cross-legged on Ally's old bed. I peered into the crack of the door. I know eavesdropping is not a good thing, but I had to know what they were thinking. It wasn't enough to guess they thought I was crazy. I had to know if things would be okay. Ally sighed, "Mom, she's not crazy. I have complete faith in my baby sister that she's going to be fine. She's tough, Mom. You know that. I know that. Dad knows that." Mom shook her head, "I hope Emma knows that." Ally patted Mom's back, "Trust me Mom, she does." Mom nodded her head. Then gave a look of fright to my older sister.  
><em>

"_What do you suppose happened to her?" she asked. There was a moment's silence and Ally stared passed my Mom. I could see the tears building up in her eyes. I know that the police didn't release any information as to who kidnapped me and why. Just the bruises and scars were enough to tell them whoever they were, they were dangerous. I looked at Ally. I could've sworn she almost knew word for word what happened to me. And who did it. But she turned to Mom and simply shook her head, "I'm not positive Mom. I don't even want to think about it either. All I know is she's home and she's safe now. We have her back and you should stop trying to push her Mom. If she doesn't want to talk about what happened, then there's a reason for it."  
><em>

_But Mom is very persistent. I walked back to my room and landed on my bed. In a few seconds she would be in here… Bingo. Mom creaked the door opened and poked her head in. She tried her hardest to keep a straight face and clean away her tears. "Can I come in?" she asked. I nodded my head. It hurt so much to think my Mom thought I was crazy. A nut. Asylum-worthy. Mom walked in gravely and sat stiffly on the end of my bed. Then with a muffled sigh she turned around and faced me. "Tell me honey. Tell me everything that happened. Like you said before, talking is the best medicine," she said. I smiled dryly at my own words. I had said that. When Mom and Dad were going through a rough patch. But that's a different story for a different time. But I kept my mouth shut. "You were so little then, so innocent…." her voice trailed off.  
><em>

"_What happened to my baby girl? What did you do?" It was there I found the truth I had been searching for. My Mom indeed thought I was crazy. That I, myself, brought about this situation which my life had fallen into. She somehow thought a part of this kidnapping was my fault. Had she really thought I was whoring around or something? Did she think I was even capable of such behavior? "Mom…." I said, my voice losing all feeling as I wrapped around the truth. "My situation….. I immanent." I told her. How could I possibly begin to explain the truth. Especially to someone such as my own mother. Who honestly wouldn't doubt I had somehow put myself in this situation. As if I wanted to be kidnapped. As if I wanted to fall in love with such a vial, narcissistic man, who's ideal date was blowing up a building and peering at the mushroom cloud of smoke in the distance.  
><em>

_My mom had simply stared at me. All hope lost in her eyes. I knew I would have to return to him eventually. It was best she thought I was crazy and destroying my own life on my own. That way she wouldn't know the truth. Something far worse than whoring around. I had somehow, although it defies all of humanity, fallen in love for a mass murderer. She wouldn't look at me like this. No. If I told her the truth, she'd look at me like I was the psychopath myself. And that would be too much for me to handle.  
><em>

_Mom was in full-blown tears. Crying and I couldn't even hug her. I was afraid I'd taint her with my own bad luck. She wanted to know what happened. That's all. But I couldn't tell her. I just couldn't. I wouldn't. So I just sat there and let Mom blubber on my bed sheets until finally she regained her strength to get up from my bed and exit my room._

Only my Mom would expect I deliberately threw myself into this situation.

Okay, so this was my plan. I'd go to Chateau Place and wait for them to leave. That way they could venture to the park and not have to worry about me. That's when I'd escape. They'd come back to find me, ask where I was, and then put two and two together. That I didn't want to be found. Charity was somewhat piecing together her own life and I would not stand in her way of it. Then they'd just leave and I'd never have to worry about putting Mikey in trouble again. Or Charity. And then I'd be able to do whatever. Okay so living with Charity wasn't as cruel as living with ..the Joker… but feeling so alone and out of place was worse than the fear I felt when I was with him. And I hated feeling like a burden. And I absolutely had to get out of here.

I was just assuming they would let me leave. But who's to say assuming is the best thing to do?

Finally, we pulled into Chateau Place. I hadn't noticed at first, but this was it. The place where my life changed forever. Cliché, I know. But so much the truth. It was eerie to be here. I almost forgot about the shooting and everything. But the building being as famous as it is, it was already up and running again. I wondered if I really would be able to tour the ballroom.

"You want us to go with you?" she asked, gazing high up the building in amazement. Before Charity was consumed by the building's presence, I replied quickly, "No. This is all me." With that I got out of the car, shut the door, and waved slightly as they drove away. The last time I would ever see them. And now, time to plan where I was going to go.

I looked at Chateau Place. 'Well, while I'm here…'

The inside was just as brilliant as the outside. Clean cut and shining. Marble floors and granite tables and counter tops. The workers all in white and black. A huge chandelier hung high in the lobby. Which was practically empty. Across from the double door entrance was a high-desk and behind it stood a woman. Dressed in a dark button-up, her red hair flowed lightly above her shoulder. She wore dark-brimmed glasses and smiled sweetly at me when I entered. For once I was self-conscience. I stared down at myself for a millisecond. Too aware of the grey sweats and baggy white sweatshirt I was wearing.

"Hello," she said greeting me with a welcoming smile. Very practiced, that was for sure. A person could run into this place on fire yelling obscene profanities and she'd still have a welcoming smile. "Can I help you? Are you lost?" I laughed out loud at her question and the clerk herself seemed stunned at my behavior. I instantly stopped laughing and looked at her, "Do you give tours?" She nodded and before she could speak I cut in, "Does that include the ballroom on the sixth floor?" She nodded again then smiled, "Yes. We charge $75 for one round visit through most of the building, including the ballroom, and into some currently available condominiums. They are luxury, Miss." A mix of signals here. She mentioned the price right away to scare me off. Then mentioned the luxurious available condominiums to me to make a sell. Or at least sell a tour ticket. She obviously didn't want me hanging around.

I had no money what so ever. But I was getting up there. I shook my head, "Never mind then." The woman's smile faded, "Are you sure?" So fake. I nodded. "Actually, do you mind if I use your restroom real quick?" The woman's face was now getting irritated. And I noticed behind me a rich couple waiting impatiently to talk to her. She shook her head, "I'm sorry, but…. company policy." She looked to the gentlemen behind me, as if she thought I would just walk away. "Excuse me?" Her eyes met mine again. "Then may I speak to the manager or company owner of this place? I have a huge complaint to fill out." The woman's eyes were my sign of defeat. "Go down that hallway and turn left, past the elevator is a unisex bathroom." No more playful smile? I grinned and made a quick dash down the hallway.

Sure enough, there was the one stall bathroom. As I waked by I pressed the elevator button and waited for it to stop on ground level. Then, I made a dash for the side wall. When the elevator doors opened I peeked in. To my surprise, there was no one. Not even an elevator guide. Can I be any luckier? I stepped in and quickly pressed the button for the doors to shut. Then clicked for the 6th floor. My heart was racing, just the thrill of getting caught where I didn't belong put me on edge. And I was amazed. I have never been a person with enough guts to be able to pull off something like this. I don't know what's gotten into me.

The elevator dinged and slowly opened. I held my breath and peeked outside of the elevator's safe walls. No one. And straight ahead were the two huge brass doors leading into the massive ballroom. With a few silent steps, a click of the doors opening, I was in. The ballroom was absolutely empty. It brought back memories. I looked around, trying to imagine where everything and everyone was. The caterer's table. The dining tables. Bride and groom's table. The DJ stand. Melissa and Grant. That guy who asked me to dance when I was over… there…. where the bar was. And then I walked over to the huge glass windows overlooking parts of Gotham and the river.

I sighed. I knew where I was going after all of this. I knew what had happened, as much as I never, ever, wanted it to happen, it happened. I fell in love. I wish somehow it was true but it wasn't. You simply cannot choose who you fall in love with. If that were the case, the world would be madness.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

"Ma'am?" a voice behind me spoke. "Can I see your tour tickets or homing pass?" Damn. Think. I shut my eyes tight, hunched my shoulders, and made a soft sniffling sound. I thought about home. I slowly turned around, pretending to be lost and somewhat scared. "Oh officer!" I said. The officer was young, a beginner maybe. But he still had authority. I was hoping to God he wouldn't recognize me. He gave me a look of concern and walked over to me, "Is everything alright Miss?" I sniffled and shook my head, "No my son. Jack he's this high," I motioned with my hand, then took a deep breath, "I can't find him. I was about to buy tour tickets for us and then I looked over. He wasn't there, I couldn't see him… I just wanna see 'im. I'm a horrible mother!" I croaked and was now all out bawling. The officer looked frantically around me, "Okay Ma'am if you could just calm down. He couldn't have gone far. We'll find him," the officer tried desperately to calm me down. I took in huge, whiney breaths and wiped the tears from my eyes with my hand. "I need… a tissue," I said. The officer nodded his head, "Follow me. I'm just going to take you down to the lobby and then we'll look for your son. Okay?" I nodded my head. Bingo.

I waited downstairs while the younger officer talked to a more stubborn looking officer. He was older looking, with graying hair and deep circles under his eyes. He looked at me a few times during their conversation. I dabbed at my eye with a tissue. Then both officers walked over to me. The older looking one, who had a badge that read 'Stanley' said, "Do you have a photo of your son? This would make things easier if we had a picture to compare him with."

I made myself look worse, crying and babbling I said, " Not on me. Maybe in the car. I can't find him. What time is it? He takes his medicine soon…. When will you start looking for him!" The officer frowned at me. "Well, we're not sure who to look for." I sighed and blew my nose in the tissue. "His name is Jack," I said. "He's only 5, has brown hair, brown eyes. Wearing a green t-shirt and jeans. A red baseball cap." I sniffled again and tried to make my voice sound as shaky as possible. "Please, I need to get him his medicine."

The officer shook his head and then said, "I'll get the others on it right now. We'll delay all tours and check every floor. You should come with one of us." I shook my head and Stanley walked away. Ah, stuck with the beginner. "Uh officer…," I said. The man looked over at me. Still frantic and still overwhelmed. Poor guy, but really? He's an officer and this freaks him out? "Can I go out to my car? I really need to get Jackie's medicine! Its his lifeline." I asked him, panicky. The man sighed. "Sure." With an appealing smile he began to follow right behind me. Ugh.

I quickly turned around, "What are you doing!" I shouted and it made him flinch. "You need to get his…" his voice trailed off. "You should be looking for my son! I think I can get his medicine without a chaperone. Now please, FIND MY BOY!" I screamed and his face was priceless. He walked away, hurriedly. I eyed the clerk who eyed me back. Oh. She knew. I smiled, but I'm sure she just thought it was to be kind. And turned away.

Outside I acted like I was looking for my lost son. I made a quick dash to the parking lot and made sure to disappear from the front entrance. Once I knew I was out of sight, I headed across the street and began walking.

**Holy. Hell. Emeralda Thompson. Do you know that you just lied your ass off to two officers just to get out of that place? **  
>Why yes I do.<br>**And you did this why?**  
>Because I was not about to sit in a police station while they penalized me for trespassing.<br>**Stupid, stupid, stupid… your stupid!**  
>I'm mentally arguing with myself. Good Emma, bad Emma.<p>

So you just called yourself stupid.  
><strong>…..<strong>  
>That's what I thought.<br>**You could face worse than a sit down with a few cops. Can you say jail time?**  
>I couldn't stick around long enough for them to recognize me. I'd be in a Looney bin in 5 seconds flat. Then how charming would that be?<br>**Touché.**

I walked amongst other Gotham city citizens. Fitting in quite well because a lot of people were wearing sweat pants and shirts. The breeze was cold and crisp, but I liked it. Wow. I felt free. Clear and focused. The old Emma had returned, well partially. Lets not forget I'm now a crime-committing-nutcase. Who has fallen for a mass-murdering-psycho-clown. But other than that, I felt like me. My hair felt right. And the way I was walking felt all Emma. I smiled at the occasional friendly face and they smiled back. I wonder if anyone knew I was missing. Had Gotham released photos of me? Or had they pronounced me dead? That wouldn't work for me. I couldn't let me family think I was dead. I'll have to write them a letter. Eventually.  
>But for now, I'll just try to keep some peace in mind.<p>

~MEANWHILE~

"HE TOOK ALL THE MONEY!" a man shouted. He was wearing a blue hat and a white suit. His black sunglasses hid all emotion of his eyes. He looked disgusted and furious over to the young woman standing in his doorway. Two tarts laid, with hardly any clothes, on his bed. Moaning and groaning for him to return. His bed was gold-rimmed and the walls were white. Everything else in the room was black. This was Frost. He had mistakenly assumed that Kara, his secretary and home-bound mistress, had wondered to is room for some 'fun.' She was pretty. Very pretty. With red hair and piercing blue eyes. He was always teasing her, trying to pry her clothes off when they were all alone. He had a thing for her. A 'real thing' for her. He liked her almost too much. And he would wait for her. Meanwhile, he always had Cherry and Precious.

Kara flinched. She had the same feelings for him, but equally feared him. She tried to keep her eyes from wondering over to the two tramps upon his bed. Yes, she was jealous. Very much. But she could wait.  
>"Sorry…" he mumbled. Kara nodded her head. "Com'n baby," Cherry begged from behind him. "SHUT UP!" he yelled, not bothering to look back at her now frightened and hurt face. Frost shook his head. He was quite good looking overall. Black hair, blue eyes, pale complexion, abs like a God's, and young. Maybe 22. But he had power. And lots of it. He cracked his fingers and walked over to Kara.<p>

He wrapped a hand around the back of her neck. "Tell me his name darling, I'll make sure things get fixed," he said, coolly. Kara smiled and searched her brain for his answer, for she was very distracted. Meanwhile, Frost wiped something from his jacket as he waited. "The Joker, as he goes by," she said. "And what did I pay him for?" he asked, coolly. Kara searched again, fully distracted as his hand traced down to the small of her back. She stepped back and huffed at him, "Don't touch me." Her words weren't threatening, not even close actually more wary then anything. "He was suppose to rob King High for you. Take his money, bring it back to you. And keep 10%. In return, you would also give him…" She concentrated again. It was too hard to push him away. Frost now placed both of his hand on her hips and had pulled her closer to him.

"..give him… Cherry and Precious?" she questioned. "Mmmhmmm," Frost mumbled. He pressed his body against Kara's. "And he just kept it all to himself. That's my money, too," he said. His eyes shot open. "Damn it all! He'll pay for this." He let go of Kara and turned around. Both Cherry and Precious were absolutely shocked. Oh well. They were in too far. They were 'things' now. "No!" Kara said. Frost tensed but didn't turn around. "What did you say?" he asked her. "No," she said again, "Don't. Don't do a thing, you have enough money."

"Does he have someone?" he asked. Kara's eyes widened, "I don't know. But you couldn't!" she screamed. He turned around and glared at her sharply, "And why the hell not?" "B-because," she said, "He'd kill you."  
>Frost laughed at this. She was so naive sometimes. "Darling, no one would ever be able to put a scratch on me," he said. "I'm too powerful." Kara shook her head, "But if you killed someone he loved. If he even has someone. What would you do?"<p>

For a second, Frost was taken aback. He looked away from Kara and imagined her being kidnapped into the hands of someone powerful and killed. He laughed, "That's not going to happen to me." Kara looked at him, "But what if it did?" Frost looked up and met eyes with Kara. He stomped over to her and grabbed her shoulders roughly, "I'd torture the unlucky bastard! Now shut up!" Kara was trembling in his grasp. The two tramps on the bed were stunned, remaining quiet and unmoving. "S-sorry, F-Frost, I was just w-worried about you," she said, shakily. Frost shook his head and laughed, "Don't be." And then did something that absolutely shocked Kara herself. He hugged her. For a moment, Kara was in bliss. But then he pulled away and lightly pushed her out the door. "Now if you'll excuse me." And then the door shut in Kara's face.

Why did he always have to hurt her like this?

~ELSEWHERE~

It's been what, a couple of months? And the Joker already has a new 'squeeze.' A feisty blonde with mental problems. Why else would she be here? Or maybe it's because of the huge pile of money stacked in front of her, in the huge garage. Trista was never the one to dig the whole 'buy me flowers and chocolates' thing. But buy her diamonds and she'll do anything. She gazed happily upon the monstrous pile of money. 'There must be millions!' she thought to herself. That would be over-exaggerating. "Buy me something?" she said, ogling the tower of money. The Joker smiled, wrapping an arm around Trista's waist. He nodded and then walked over to the money. "Now, this is my favorite part!" he said, dumping a gallon of gas on top of the money. Trista's smile faded slowly when realization kicked in. She smelled the bitter scent of gas and horrified, she screamed. Quite ear-numbing, too. "SHUT UP! YOU ANNOYING THING!" the Joker responded.

Trista frowned and walked over to the Joker, flicking her blonde locks behind her. "What the hell are you doing?" The Joker ignored her and continued dumping the rest of the gas. "I said… WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" she screamed. It was high-pitched and horrible. The Joker flinched and whipped the gas bucket away. He stomped over to Trista and grabbed her neck, making her gasp for breath. "Are you too damn blonde to know that I HATE the sound of your voice?" He let go of Trista and she fell to the floor. She pouted and crossed her legs. "What'd you do that for? I'm sure the seller won't want money covered in gas!" she said, slightly raising her voice. The Joker froze and slowly turned around to face her. His shoulders hunched over and he kneeled down in front of her. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and Trista squirmed. "Shut up and listen!" he yelled, the venom in his voice for once freezing Trista in place. "I have money. Okay? Plenty. Now listen. You say another word before I ask you too and I will kill you." Trista laughed at his comment. He only tugged her hair harder, "I'm serious."

His voice was enough to scare the living hell out of Trista. She sat silently while the Joker left the garage for the moment. "Damn fool. Who does he think he is? I'm not some thing he can just boss around." Trista silently sat, pissed off and grieving over her now gas-covered money. 'Moron,' she thought to herself. She pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them. Sighing, she began to think of all the marvelous things she could get with this much money. A door slammed shut and impatient footsteps stopped beside her. She looked up at the Joker, pouting. He simply smiled and walked over to the pile of money. "Now watch, slutcakes." Trista grumbled but paid close attention anyways. As if the man in purple was performing a magic trick. He pulled out a pack of matches and took one out. "Don't get so close to the money, darling, " she said, her voice only bitter.

He lit the match.  
>And dropped it on top of the money.<br>It caught fire immediately. All of it did.

Trista couldn't believe what she had just seen. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed. "YOU IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL!" She screamed some more. And whined some more. The Joker yanked her up by her arm, nearly pulling it out of place. She flinched and froze when a sharp blade was at the base of her neck. "I thought I told you to be quiet?" the Joker stated. He should slit her neck right now. He wanted to, but something stopped him. He let go of her and instead pushed her away, "Ha! You wuss. I knew you wouldn't kill me, you can't," but then again the Joker was getting fed up with her annoying voice. He stomped back over to her. A grin spread wide across Trista's face. He grabbed her again and forced her to look at him. "You shouldn't be so sure of yourself," he hissed. But she only laughed in his face. "You won't kill me, you need me! Without me, you have nothing." The Joker looked at her. Stunned she was being so stupid. What in her right mind would lead her to think that he needed her?

Enough is enough. One last piercing scream from Trista echoed through the room. The sound was so annoying, but that was the end of that. No more screaming, Trista, you pathetic excuse for a woman. She fell to the ground, lifeless. Henry, his newest henchmen rushed into the garage. "Clean that up!" the Joker shouted. The young man stared in disbelief at the young and now dead girl. And then in disbelief at the pile of money burning behind her. "What happened boss? I thought she was a keeper," he said, pressing a button that opened the exhaust fans on the ceiling.

The Joker laughed but kept his back on the scene. De-ja-vu. He did this, exactly this, with Emma before. He then headed out the door and into the night. Damn her. He tried not to think of her. He even bought more whores just to distract him. But he couldn't. She'd always be right there, in his mind. Her beautiful face reflecting in his mind. He'd have to kill himself to erase her from his life completely.

His other henchmen were waiting outside. Perfectly blending in with the newly black van they had stolen. "C'mon boys, we're leaving. Get everything," he said. At first they just stared at him. Was he serious? And then, "NOW!" And they scrambled back inside the building. It was time to leave.

~Emma~

Ah, Bella's Café. Welcoming me like I belonged there. It was getting late. I bet by now that Charity and Toby have realized I'm gone. That I'm not coming back. Well, that's a good thing. They should just move on with their lives. Forget about me. I'm happy right here. Well… okay… .so I'm just trying to cheer myself up. What's wrong with that?  
><strong>You're in denial.<strong>  
>You again!<br>**Of course…. ya miss me?**  
>Not at all. And no, I'm not in denial. I know I have nowhere to go. See? I'm not denying a thing.<br>**Yes you are, you just said it yourself.**  
>What?<br>**You have nowhere to go, but you do. You know where you will be going.  
><strong>To hell if I don't change my evil ways?  
><strong>…..<strong>  
>Yeah okay. I do. I thought you were the 'good' me. You shouldn't be trying to take me back to insanity.<br>**….**  
>You're too annoying to be quiet! Answer me damn it!<br>**No. Comment.**

Okay so maybe mentally arguing is not that healthiest thing in the book. But I had to vent. And so I thought this was best. I had to discuss the inevitable, as much as it killed me too. And I lied. I had a $5 bill in my pocket. But that's all. Enough for three small waters and two chocolate chip cookies. And that's good enough for me. Aw, peaceful bliss. Emma, you're doing a fine job cooperating.  
><strong>Do not lie to me like that. Emma, you have gone nuts.<strong>  
>That's no help at all! I like to think I'm doing good.<br>**You're arguing with me? How is that 'doing good?'**  
>Um.. Uh…<br>**That's right.**

So I sat in a window booth, sipping water and munching cookies. Everything was going to plan. Well, sort of. Oh Bella how I'm glad you have chocolate chip cookies. I lifted the small glass up to my lips and chugged the last of my water. "EMMA!" Such a familiar voice. I about choked on my water. "Emma, there you are." It was Charity. Damn. She rushed over and sat across from me. "Don't ever leave me again! I thought you left, for good." Toby joined Charity in the booth across from me. My hopes shattered. I'd have to do this the hard way. I opened my mouth to speak but Toby beat me to it, "What are you doing?" he asked coldly. He glared at me like I was planning something. "Nothing," I said. "Just getting something to eat." He knew I was lying, but the look in his eyes said that he thought I was up to no good. "That's all, I swear!"

"Go! To the car! We're leaving," he said. Charity got up and headed outside as did I. I had already paid but I let Toby throw nine dollars on the table anyway. That bastard deserves to lose a little money. How dare he talk to me like that? We strolled over behind Bella's Café where he parked in the corner, hidden between the café and some other building. I could see inside that Mikey was asleep. A balloon tied around his wrist. I would really miss that kid. Charity opened the back door to check on Mikey. And it happened so fast. I heard a loud, thumping noise and then saw Charity, knocked out and silent on the ground. Toby next to her holding a metal rod. "What the he-" But I was cut off by Toby. He pulled a gun from his pocket and had it aimed right for me.

"What are you doing?" I said. It hardly phased me. I had guns aimed at my head before. "You should leave," he said. How ironic. That's exactly what I was trying to do. "I mean it!" he shouted. "Okay," I said. And he seemed somewhat taken back from this response. "I can't let you hurt Charity!" he said. "What?" I said back. I looked at him in disbelief, "I would never harm Charity. Or Mikey for that matter." "I should just kill you off. I know who you are." I shook my head. What was he talking about? "I do!" he shouted. He seemed a little on edge. "I know you're the Joker's girl." ….Now he's gone too far. "Listen, bud," I said. "You know nothing! I would never harm a single person, you can believe me on this one. The fact that I was kidnapped by a serial killer means nothing of the sort that I had anything to do with any one dying! And, if you didn't notice, I left Chateau Place on person, to deliberately be leaving you and Charity!" Speaking of which, her body was still laying on the ground.

My anger subsided, "I'm going okay. Just take care of her." Finally he lowered his gun. And nodded. He lifted her body into the car in the back with Mikey and shut the back door. I turned around and began walking.

"Wait, Emma!" he said. I turned around. "Here." He held out a wad of cash. I shook my head, "No. I don't need it." "Just take it, okay?" I shook my head again, "Trust me on this. I don't need your money." He dropped his hand and I turned back around and began walking. It was so cold outside and it had gotten dark. Really dark.

Phew, that was a close one.


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20**

"Hmm.." Kara sighed and hesitantly stood in front of Frost's bedroom. 'Don't forget to knock, first,' she mentally told herself. In her hands she held a picture of a girl, the one the Joker is supposedly 'with.' No, she did not want Frost to get his hands on this information. But he had warned her. 'Find who he's with or I'll be sure you'll never be around me again.' And the way he touched her…. Okay so what she was doing was awful. Putting this pretty girl in danger. Or wait, she was in danger already wasn't she? Think of it as a good thing. Taking her away from everything… Kara swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. No, that probably wasn't right. She was in love with Frost, was she not? Kara sighed, "Any thing's possible," she said and then she knocked on the door.

Please Lord, let the room be empty. She was getting tired of seeing half-naked whores all over her man. The door opened and a half dressed Frost stood in the door way. He was only wearing dark black boxers. His hair was messy and partially blocking his eyes. He leaned against the door way, a smirk forming on his pale lips. "Finally gave in, huh?" he said. Even though he looked so utterly hot standing there, Kara could only frown. Tears still threatening to escape her eyes. She dropped her head and thrust the paper unto his stomach. "There," she snapped. Frost grabbed the paper from her and held it up to see. A picture of a sexy, young girl appeared in front of him. "How the hell does he manage to get a piece this good looking?" he asked. He dropped his gaze to the now crying Kara.

"What now?" he said, the smallest hint of compassion in his voice. She shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Jus' tired. I'm going to bed." Kara turned around, letting her red hair block her face from Frost's sharp gaze. He sighed loudly, trying to get her attention. "What's wrong Kara?" he asked. Despite the fact that he would always be a greedy and selfish person, Kara was still his one exception. He didn't want her to cry. He cared about her. But she continued to walk down the hall. "Damn it Kara! Is it about this?" he said, waving the paper in the air. Her back was still turned on him, she was trying to hide the mass of tears that streaked her face. "You didn't have to do this…" he said.

Kara turned around and stomped back to Frost. He could tell she was really hurt this time. "First of all, no I could not! You made me do this, remember? And second, you're so stupid!" she yelled. So it was immature calling him stupid, but it was the first thing to pop into her mind. Frost mirrored the same anger. "Stupid? You're the stupid one! You're the one who just won't go away!" Kara flinched at his words and her voice lowered, "So you want me to just leave, then." It wasn't a question, it was a realization. Frost sighed and his face softened into something Kara had rarely seen. Frost reached out to grab her arm, "Of course I don-" he began to say but was cut off. "Don't touch me!" Kara yelled back and then stepped back some.

"Fine," he said, straining to keep his voice under control, "No, Kara. I don't want you to leave. Even though you can if you ever wanted to." By saying this, Kara saw his face soften even more and almost grow sad. Her tears had stopped and she almost felt stupid herself for acting out at him. But at least she was hearing the truth from him. "And you never have to do anything you don't want to," he added. 'Why does he have to be so ignorant? He's going to get himself killed.' She looked up at Frost and saw something different. She didn't see him as Frost. She saw Cole Smale, who he really was only years ago. With his innocent eyes, she could actually tell his current life didn't satisfy him. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. He was much taller than Kara and so she rested her face against his chest,

And he wrapped his arms around her. "Why do you have to do this?" she asked. A low laugh silently escaped his lips, but there was no humor to it. "The bastard stole my money. That's all," he stroked her hair. "You'll get yourself killed, Cole, you're not indestructible," she said. And why exactly was he doing this? He was power-hungry. He sighed into her hair and pulled her away from him. "Just this one thing, Kara. I'll get my money and then…." he looked down at her and was actually nervous. What if she didn't want to?  
>"Then you and me will escape, okay? Forever…" Kara looked up at him and smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that."<p>

~Emma~

"Uh!" Damn, another headache is approaching. How in the world can I run into a pole? It's sad, I know. But I was walking down the cold, empty streets trying to think, which was going very well. Then out of nowhere a dumb, stupid little yapping dog came shooting out from behind a dumpster and went straight for my ankles. Of course, I squealed and then ran for my life. The little dog had to be no taller than a whole foot, and was a dirty white color. Well now, the stupid dog just won't stop following me.  
>Here comes the 'pole' part.<br>I turned around (while still walking) to shoo the dog away and of course end up walking straight into a pole. I turned around again, of course the stupid mutt is gone now! I sighed, 'I need to do something.' I looked up at the nearest street sign, recognized it, and turned right. I won't lie that I'm pretty much freaking out right now. I was going back to his hideout.

I am so hopeless. No, no I'm not, right?…Ugh, I am.

The streets were eerie and empty. But I kept walking anyways. There isn't anything that could scare me. I'm already too messed up. Of course if another miniature mutt came running at me from under that park bench I may squeal. But there were no signs of tiny dogs as I walked safely by the bench. I was walking by another building, this one was filled with people though. I looked inside, but being sure to hide myself. No one wants a weird, psycho to look in on them while they're eating. Okay so it was a restaurant. I could see it was an expensive one too. The walls were a golden color, as were the tables. Which had silk tablecloths draped over them and fancy silverware. And I mean all the spoons and forks and everything. The table closest to me held an older couple. But I looked to what they were eating. My mouth watered. Real food. And not just cheap fast food or chewy gas station hot dogs. Ewe, what a bad experience. I had food poisoning for days. Real, tasty, hot food. I reached into my pockets. Hmm, two dollars. Damn.

I continued to walk on when the sudden familiarity of the restaurant made me stop. I looked back into the restaurant and noticed the familiar set-up of the tables and the pictures along the walls. That counter there, where you pay. The dismayed waitress holding the phone…. That night I tried to escape the Joker. And I wouldn't let anyone help me.

I felt tears stinging my eyes and I walked quickly away from the restaurant. Okay, Emma, pull yourself together. And then I heard a sound that tore my little freedom away from me. Thunder. Oh man. Just great. I hurried down the street but it was no use. Rain was falling in buckets and I was already drenched. "Are you serious!" I shouted. "Rain, wow rain. Okay, whatever." I was getting pissed now but I couldn't do anything about it. Drenched, I unhappily walked down the rest of this street before I turned left. And froze. The woods… the little stretch of sidewalk, less than a mile…. across the road and into the woods. I sighed. Here goes nothing.

I walked briskly down the little stretch of sidewalk. No one was outside. That's a good thing, I guess. Why had Gotham become so isolated? I didn't know much about the city, but it was a city. A big city at that. And I would never think for it to be this dead. Especially at night. A breeze picked up and the rain slowed some. And I actually enjoyed it. Okay so I've always hated rain. When I had to go somewhere, it would frizz my hair. Or mess up my make-up. But on days where I had nothing to do, I would actually sit out in the rain. Something about the rain was just calming. And today was one of those days where I wasn't going anywhere special (okay, that's an understatement), I was just walking. But it was dark out and it was like what? January something… January 24th I think. My heart suddenly dropped and my good feeling went away.

I suddenly realized I'd missed everything. I missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years! All of this passed by invisibly in Toby's apartment. I felt warm tears streak my face, along with cold, wet raindrops. And I almost lost balance. I looked up and realized that I had made it to the end of the sidewalk and had just stepped off onto the road. I walked slowly across the road. No, there were no cars coming, I was safe, and into the almost invisible opening into the woods. A gravel driveway stretched in front of me. January 24th, that's what it had said at Chateau Place earlier. On the granite counter top. Happy-almost- Birthday, Emma. Only 3 more days.

Lucky enough, the trees became good rain-protectors. Sure, I was drenched. But the rain was no longer hitting me and somehow giving me an enormous headache. I seemed to just know my way down this driveway because soon the building became visible. I stopped and peered up at it. 'How come it's so dark?' I walked forward and opened the big, metal door. The door was loud but following it was silence. I went inside and the garage scared me even more. The tables were gone. The old hooks hanging from the ceiling were gone, as well as the lights. And the moonlight shined though the large garage windows, barely illuminating the garage. It was grey and utterly silent.

Fear struck through me and I made a mad dash to the left corner of the garage where the huge, metal door to the staircase waited me. I opened it, ran inside, and closed it shut. Leaning against the door, I realized I was out of breath. That was indescribably freaky. My wet, shaking hand grabbed onto the railing and I pulled myself up one step at a time. This whole place was dark. And only the pale moonlight lit up the staircase. I made it to the second floor and opened the door slowly. My heart was really pounding. My breath was shaky. Of course it made since for me to be ..scared. I was returning to…his …. place.

But the silence that followed the door shutting was too weird. My brows furrowed as I scanned the hallway which was dimly lit from the window at the other end. I slowly walked down the hall and held an ear up to the closest door. Nothing. I walked further, skipping a few rooms and coming to the one I always seen the Joker in when it came down to business. I listened for sounds but heard nothing. I walked a little down the hallway to the last room and heard a very quiet noise. It was a mix between static and voices, low and mumbling. I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. It was abandoned except a television which was on. Spongebob. I laughed and then realized this was where Charity was staying. I walked back to the planning room and opened it as well.

Nothing. At all. Just a huge, empty room. I froze and realization kicked in. No one was here. I rushed down the hall, opening all of the doors. Nothing. It was deserted. I went back to the staircase and hurried back up the stairs, stumbling countless times. I raced up the last few steps and nearly fell through the door leading to the third floor. A step forward and I did fall, tripping over my own feet I landed hard on the carpet. My chin stung and I felt the odd sensation that it might start bleeding. In a hurry, I got up from the floor and walked slowly down the hall. All of these rooms were always isolated. I opened the first door on the right. It was the grey room I stayed in the first day I was brought here. It was empty. And so were the others. Then finally I reached the center room on the left side of the hallway. I opened the door. This was my room.

And was utterly surprised to see everything still there. The blankets were neatly tucked into the side of the bed. Pillows were perfectly placed. I walked in and saw a vase on the nightstand next to my bed. A red rose. I felt my eyes begin to sting with tears. And then my eyes caught something shining on the bed. I walked over and sure enough, there it was. My black and silver dog collar against the perfectly white sheets. I picked it up and gripped it in my hands. An oddly I enough, I laughed. "Wow, of all things…" I said.

This whole place was gone. Deserted. My chest hurt and I began to cry. I climbed onto the bed and laid myself down. Then I just stared at the ceiling. Thinking.

~~~~  
>The nest few days went by like hell.<br>Like, I was a crack head and was going cold turkey.  
>Maybe not that drastic.<p>

I used the rest of my pocket money. A whole whopping two dollars. But you'd be surprised how many cheap bags of Cheetos you can get. It killed me to see the room so alive. My so-called wardrobe was still in the huge white dresser. Even the last towel I used was flopped on the bathroom door. But I got use to my eeriness and moved on. Okay so I was not doing okay. Living off of sink water and imitation cheetos wasn't very healthy. But I was so…. sad. The first time in my life and I actually didn't have anyone. For the past two days, all I've done is eat, sleep, and take really, really long baths. I was surprised this place still had hot water.

And then I was even more depressed that following today was my birthday. 25. Doesn't that mean I can legally rent a car. Or was that 23...? Oh well. I officially have no money. And then it hit me.  
>What the hell am I going to do?<p>

Without money, transportation, and someone to help me, I was as good as dead. I would in no way allow myself to become a hobo. I might as well just wither away right here. But I couldn't do that either. As much as I've been through, I am still so afraid of dying alone. I sighed. And began thinking of the past. My childhood. Those simple days when I didn't know what was good or bad. What was wrong or right. I was 6. I was naïve but I knew some things. That a bloody mother on an apartment floor shouldn't be there. And that demonic smile on her son's face shouldn't have been there.

I shivered and switched to something else. When I was little I had this very hugely insane crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. Teehee. I remember Ally did too. I think she secretly still does. But Ally and I would stay up watching the Titanic. I swear we both knew every word to that friggin' movie. And Ally would always tear up when you seen his beautiful, frozen corpse floating deeper into the Atlantic. It made me laugh just thinking about it.

Wow, I really missed my big sister. Okay so yes, she could very annoying. Unbearable at sometimes. And now that she's grown, she's so motherly and those things don't happen as much. But she was still Ally. And I remember about a week after I recently returned home she said four magic words, 'You can be Rose.' We watched Titanic. I pretty much said all of Rose's lines word for word. And afterwards, I realized how much I really missed her.

And then she made me chocolate chip cookies. A little burnt, but that's all it took.  
>And I'd told her I'd never leave her again. I can only imagine how upset she must be.<p>

I didn't notice at first until my face was wet that I was crying. And what started as small, teardrops, soon turned into rolling, blubbering waterfalls falling from my eyes. I suddenly felt as if my chest might cave in on itself. And I had to wrap my self around a pillow for fear I might actually lose it. I sobbed until I made myself sick. Let's just say cheetos aren't as pretty when they're coming back up. And then I sobbed some more. Finally, I began feeling better. Until…

I thought of my old fat cat Garfield. He was orange and fat, hence the name. I remembered how I grew up with him. He used to love playing with string. And if you pulled it down along the couch he would grip onto the cushions and walk sideways. And he loved his milk. (Mama said no lasagna). Then when I was 14, and he too was 14, he finally passed on. And then the waterworks began again. I continued to cry about the dumbest things. Some weren't even sad. Some were happy and exciting memories. Like my first trip to Disney Land and I rode the teacups. And afterwards, puked. That's hilarious and yet somehow I just cried.

And this is where I am now.

Currently wrapped around a soggy pillow, the tears beginning to dry. Willing myself to think of nothing but… nothingness. I sighed and suddenly felt numbness. I guess that was enough 'feeling' for a while and so I slowly drifted asleep.

Blissful dreams. Something about a peculiar fat cat eating giant cheetos. I was actually enjoying myself when an odd movement caught my attention. Too tired to move, blink, or even think I just laid there, still not currently aware that someone was in my room. Huh, my room. It sounded so… right?  
>"Emma."<br>But it sounded like this to me…"Uhmma."  
>What? I could hear something but it sounded inhuman.<br>Or maybe I wasn't hearing right.  
>"Emma is that you?"<br>Once again I couldn't hear right…"Uhmma soo?"  
>….? I'm still not clear as to why I can't hear.<br>And then a soft weight was lifted from my face and suddenly my cheek became cold. I shivered and curled into the fluffy, warm blankets.  
>"Emma! It is you!"<br>The voice scared me to death. The sudden clarity and high-pitched voice sounded ten times clearer and ten times louder. Except I knew too well that voice couldn't be real. That would be too good to be true. "Emma! Please…" The voice pleaded with me.  
>No, I will not fall for your stupid games.<br>**Who mine?**  
>What…no…. YOU!<br>**It's not me. I promise you that.**  
>And I should believe you why?<br>**Take the covers off.**  
>Answer me.<p>

Silence. Fine, come and go as you may, stupid good-Emma conscience. But, I might as well. I slowly took the covers off and opened my eyes.  
>Oh. My. Goodness.<br>"Oh Emma, you're awake! Oh Emma…I, I, I've missed you! I thought I lost you and you…"  
>Tears streamed down her pretty face. And my sister collapsed on the bed. Despite my past crying-fit and my disbelief that she may still be unreal, I sounded perfectly calm. "When did you get here? How did you get here? How did you know I was here?" I asked. She sniffed and looked up at me through blurry, tear-filled eyes.<br>"I know things Emma. And I know when my baby sister is in quite a complex predicament."  
>"I was just thinking of you," I said. Am I dreaming? "Ditto, sis," she replied. Then she looked at me, as if I may not be real, and I did the same to her, and then we hugged. For what seemed like forever. When we pulled apart, an agonizing thought played through my mind. And I had to tell her. "Ally, you shouldn't be here." I said. She looked at me for a long time and then nodded her head. "I know Emma. Actually, I know a lot." The sound of her voice pressed at how sincere she was. And I began to think that maybe she knew more than what meets the eye. I looked sternly at her and she could guess what I was thinking.<p>

"Emma. I know. And as much as I am….petrified at this situation you're in… I still love you. No matter what. And I'm not leaving, yet. Not until I know you'll be okay," she said. I nodded my head, "Deal." She smiled and laid a reassuring hand on my knee. Mom-ish, but she's still my sister. And then her eyebrows perked up. "Oh! I almost forgot!" She quickly walked over to the desk next to the door and grabbed a brown bag. She smiled happily at me while I gave her a questioning glance. "Chinese."

The sudden thought made me burst into laughter and she joined me. We laughed and I wasn't quite sure what was so funny. "How-how old is that?" I said. She smiled and said, "Not old. I just got it. It's fresh, actually." I shook my head, "How'd you know I'd be here?" She smiled brightly at me again, "Sister intuition." I laughed.  
>And so we sat.<br>Cross-legged on my bed,  
>eating Chinese food.<br>which was definitely an upgrade from stale cheetos.


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21**

The next morning I kept silent that it was my birthday. Ally's phone said it was almost noon. We stayed up until about 4 last night, talking. Ally was still laying in bed after I finished taking a shower. I sighed and looked at her sleeping form. She needed to leave. I'm not sure why but she just needed too. I walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder then, I lightly shook her. "Ally, wake up," I said, softly. I knew my sister better than this. What was I doing? I grabbed both of her shoulders and shook her vigorously. "Ally wake up!" Her eyes flickered but she was still half asleep. "WAKE UP!" Her eyes opened now. First startled as she adjusted and realized she wasn't anywhere familiar. And then her eyes softened and she looked at me. "Wh-what?" she asked, sitting up on her elbows.

I shoved her purse into her chest. "Ally you have to leave," I said. Ally's eyes widened at me, "No! I'm not leaving you, it's your bir-" "NO!" That shut her up immediately and she looked hurt. I instantly regretted yelling at my sister. Her lower lip formed a pout and her brows furrowed. It was her sign that she wasn't giving in. "Ally, you have to leave, okay." She shook her head and arched an eyebrow. "No, Ally. You have to leave, I'm serious. You're not safe here, you must go," I explained. Ally was getting my point. "Emma, I'm not leaving you. Whatever you're going through, I can help you with. I said I wouldn't leave unless I knew you were okay, so I'm not." I stood up from the bed and held my arms out beside me. "See, I'm fine," I said, adding a spin to show my point, "Now you can go."

"Why?" I sighed. She was going to make this absolutely difficult. "Because I said so." She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm not going anywhere."  
>"Yes you are, you're leaving and you're not coming back." That was not my voice. I kept thinking this but I was 100% sure I said it. But my voice had sounded so…. cruel. Ally bent away from me. "Emma," she said. I looked at her, "Ally. You have got to go. I left for a reason. Because I was tired of people I care about getting hurt. You have a family. A husband, two daughters. I cannot risk you dying because of me. And I have a feeling if you don't leave soon, that may just happen." Ally smiled, she didn't believe me. But I didn't smile back. I just stared hard at her. My eyes burned into hers. I did not want my sister to go away. But I needed her to. If she didn't leave, she may be gone forever. I sighed and she realized how serious I actually was. "Oh, God," she said.<p>

I shook my head. "I'm sorry this has happened but I need you to leave. Go home, stay safe. Tell mom and dad I'm…. I'm dead." Tears were forming in Ally's eyes. "But I just got here," she mumbled. "I got to see my baby sister. I don't wanna go." I sighed and she stood up. "I'm not telling them you're dead." Her purse was over her shoulder and I felt relief. She was giving in. "Please do Ally. I don't need them coming for me either. I don't want them to get hurt. Besides, just knowing that you know I'm okay is enough for me. Isn't it enough for you?" Ally looked at me for a long time. She shook her head but proceeded to the door. She was just out the door when she turned to me, "It's enough for now, Emma." Then she shut the door. I heard silent footsteps and then after a minute or two, I heard the loud echo of the huge metal door shutting behind her.

And I began to cry again. I kicked my sister out. I thought I didn't want to be alone. But I am. How is this helping me? I sighed and buried my face into my pillow. 'Happy Birthday Emma.'

~MEANWHILE~

"Could you get me another copy of… of… that one chick?" Frost asked Kara. She remembered his words from nights ago and thought, 'If he doesn't know who she is, he can't find her.' Kara shook her head and her red curls bounced around her like a 5 year olds. "I don't want to," she said, smirking at the irritated Frost. He clenched his hands into fists and looked at her, "Get me the damn picture now!" he snapped. Kara's feeling of power quickly vanished into nothingness as she hurried down the hallway back to her office. She heard footsteps behind her and she quickly got into her desk chair as Frost turned into her office. "Kara… I'm sorry. Like I said, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Frost felt he could win her over with reverse psychology. She'd see how sincere he was and instead would want to do this for him. But instead a vicious smile covered her sweet face.

"I don't want to do it," she said, calling his bluff. He frowned at her in frustration. How could he get his hands on something the Joker cared deeply about if he didn't know what the damn girl looked like. "Fine, Kara. I have a picture-perfect memory, I'm sure I can find her somehow," he lied. Kara's face fell blank. She really thought this would stop him from getting his self into loads of trouble. Frost hurried out of her office and down the long hall on the first floor. He hit the elevator 'up' button and waited. A breathless Kara hurried up beside him. "Don't do this, Cole," she said. Frost looked down at her, "I said this one last thing." The elevator dinged and he stepped inside.

And Kara followed in after him. "Damn it Kara, he stole my money," he said. "Over 100,000." Kara shook her head. "You have over 100,000! Hell you have over 15 million dollars. What the hell do you need $100,000 for?" He shook his head and laughed. "Do you not understand, sweet Kara?" he asked her. She looked angrily up at him. He treated her like some, naïve little girl. But she shook her head anyways. "It's not so much about the money," he explained. "It's about the power. How will I look amongst dealers if word gets out that I let some freak who thinks he's a clown take all of my money?" Kara shook her had. "It's power then?" He nodded his head and the elevator doors opened to the 23rd floor.

He began to walk out and head down the hall to his base room. The room where all of the planning goes down. Where Kara wasn't allowed, he had said to her, 'No girls allowed, except the occasional Play Toy.' But she followed him anyways. "Baby what are you doing?" he asked, turning around to block her from coming any further. "Do NOT call me baby," she stated. "When I said, 'It's power then,' I did not mean I understood. I can't believe you. The only thing you actually care about is power!"

Frost looked sternly at Kara. "You know that's not true." She looked at Frost just as fiercely. Frost closed the space between them, taking her into an embrace. She hugged him back and a smile spread across Frost's lips. He hands slid down her back and onto her butt. He lowered his head and kissed her perfectly smooth lips. Her hands moved to the front of him, gently touching his chest. Then she shoved him away from her. "You perv!" she said. Frost laughed," I thought you were into it." She shook her head. "We're not through here, Cole." But he was walking away to the next door. She followed him and he turned around, his back to the door, facing Kara. "Leave sweetheart, I have some things to do." Kara was furious. "You scum! Just let it drop!" she yelled. Then her voice softened, "Please, for me. We can just go away, Cole."

He shoved her into the wall behind her, "DO NOT CALL ME THAT!" Kara scrunched down away from him. Tears formed in her eyes from the overwhelming fact that he had pushed her, hard, into a wall. "It's Frost." He looked down at his own hands and couldn't believe what had just happened. He looked at the now crumbled and crying Kara. He sat down in front of her. "Kara…. I'm, so sorry," he said. He felt tears stinging his own eyes but bit back the will to cry in front of her. She shook her head, "Whatever. Just do what you have to do. I'm through reasoning with you." She curled her knees up to her and rested her face on them. Frost shook his head but stood up and went through the door, shutting a very hurt Kara behind him.

~Emma~

Is there something wrong with me? I'm alone again. Something that I didn't want to experience ever again and yet…. I shoved my own sister out the door! And for what? I was alone.

She left me $32, a bottle of water, my clothes, and a disposable phone. I do not deserve this.

And then the weirdest thing happened. Okay, it's not that weird. I began sobbing hysterically. I missed everyone. Ally, Amanda, Dad, Mom, the girls, even Sean. And I missed Him. Oddly enough, I had come back for a reason, a terrible reason but I still came back. And now, even more than ever, I felt completely broke. I guess that's a good thing in one sense. I'm not numb or anything. At least I feel feelings. But these are horrible.

I'm not even sure when I started crying or when I stopped . All I knew was one moment I was hugging a pillow like it was my lifeline. And the next I was sitting awkwardly in the garage. My little sobs sounded much worse here, echoing along the walls and such.

Why exactly did I come down here? I looked around at the gray, cemented walls. The ground was cement. The walls were cold and dark. The ceiling was falling apart. Reminisce of an old ceiling fan could be seen. I wonder what this place use to be? And then I thought about how convenient it would be right now to place a red rose in the center of this huge, desolate place.

But I don't have any. I could go find one. Or….. I looked down and saw the same old sweat pants and sweater I was wearing days before. I frowned at myself. Ew. I must smell. And just like that I was gone, rummaging through many desk drawers to come across an old comb (really ew), which would work for now, some old Halloween make up, nothing too bad, and a white t shirt and another pair of sweat pants.

I was in my room and seconds later, standing, shivering under ice, cold water from the shower. 'Of course,' I thought. 'No one to pay the damn bills.' Lucky enough though, I was able to cope with the frigid water and clean myself.

And afterwards, I actually felt a bit better. My hair would dry on its own. I didn't care how it looked at the moment. But I was surprised to look in the mirror and see myself with make-up on. A face I hadn't seen since Amanda's wedding.

I sighed and walked out of the bathroom and got under the covers. Still shivering from the shower, I tried to huddle up in a ball and gain my heat again.

I finally began to warm again and the bed was beginning to become a small piece of heaven. I could literally feel my eyelids rejecting my own movement. It was quiet and I was concentrating. Concentrating so I wouldn't fall asleep. I wanted to, but I was afraid I wouldn't wake up again. I was listening hard, concentrating on the small chirps of a bird outside my window. If I had been concentrating else where, I would've heard the car door shut.

But I heard the little bird singing. It wasn't until it flew away did I hear the garage door being shut. My state of mind and body though didn't care at the moment. I didn't care anymore. I just shut my eyes and fell asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER 22**

He had just come in for the Joker's precious. He had no clue that the literal part of that term was actually upstairs. Henry had been one of the quieter ones. He just recently joined their group so seeing Emma nearly lifeless and asleep in a bed meant nothing to him. He considered shooting her, but thought against it. Too much noise. He just passed the room and headed down the hall to where the Joker used to keep his precious. His favorite knife.

For so many reasons.

He considered it to himself as he raided the room looking for the small scrap of metal. 'Should I tell the Joker there's an intruder?' And then decided against it. He was up here for a reason. He'd probably get the shit beat out of him if the Joker knew he was messing around with other things. Besides, in weeks time, they'd be back. And she'd probably be gone.

But again he passed the bedroom and looked at the girl asleep upon the bed. She looked oddly familiar but he couldn't quite place it. Eh, things like this always happen. Henry walked down the fire escape and made his way to the bottom. He opened the entry to the garage and made his way across and out. Two others were standing outside, cigarettes in their mouths. The Joker was anxiously twirling his thumbs, looking down.

"Did you get… it?" he asked. Henry held up his right hand and smirked.  
>"This piece of shit? Sure did?"<p>

The Joker stopped twirling his thumbs and looked intently at his left hand.  
>"IT'S NOT A PIECE OF SHIT!" he yelled.<p>

Henry widened his eyes and a smile nervously spread across his face. "My bad, don't get too serious…."  
>The Joker shook his head and laughed. Then proceeded to get into the van, still laughing. The other two guys jumped in the van as well.<p>

"Put those DAMN CIGARETTES OUT!"  
>Henry shook his head and jumped into the driver's seat.<br>"Where to, J?"  
>The Joker smiled and leaned back in his seat. He shrugged his shoulders and then turned to stare out the window.<p>

Henry started up the van, which took a moment to start. Then with a loud bang, the engine roared to life and they began to drive off.  
>"You see anything else I left in there?" he asked.<br>Henry looked in the rearview mirror at the Joker and shook his head.  
>"Nothing."<p>

~~~~Emma~~~~

BANG! I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I must've had a bad dream. But I heard something. And then I had the shit scared out of me. Shaking and shivering I got up out of bed and hoisted myself over to the window. That was really weird. I wonder if the weather looks okay. I pulled the curtains back slowly and to no surprise the sky was grey and dull. But there wasn't any rain and no sign of it.

Then, I should go for a walk. I could use the exercise.

Outside wasn't like magic. But I had realized how stuffy that old place had been. And I knew the truth. The Joker wasn't coming back. I hurt him, a lot apparently. And I had no idea I could even do that. The scary thing was, being in that bedroom made each day go by so slow and yet, so fast. I had no life in there. I didn't know what I was going to do but I had to do something. So instead of slumping around I decided to walk. I passed some scarily familiar banks and coffee shops, but I kept walking. All the while trying to keep myself stable. Controlled. I had absolutely lost everything there was to lose. And now I had to deal with myself. I kept walking until I passed a small park I hadn't noticed before. There was a swing set and twisty slide. And one of those things you hold onto and spin yourself on. Like a miniature merry-go-round. And I seen this woman there. Sitting on one of the swings. It was like out of a picture. The clouds and sky behind her were completely grey. And she stuck out like a sore thumb. With a head full of red curls.

Oddly enough, and I know I'm a grown woman, or at least 25 and have outgrown playgrounds, but this chick had the right idea. Swinging seemed like a lot of fun. Although I didn't want to impose, I walked over anyways. I could care less right now if someone didn't want me somewhere. She seemed to be in her own world. Just swinging back and forth. Her eyes were closed and she seemed… happy. Okay, it's a little weird I would be describing her but she did.

I looked around and found it odd that there really wasn't anyone else around. And as I got closer I could see the rust and chipped paint that gave the playground age. I approached and realized the woman was humming. And I actually felt embarrassed to have intruded into her intimate scene. I didn't make a sound, just hopped on the only swing next to her and began to swing.

I stared straight ahead and heard a long sigh. And then "Oh." I turned to look at her and then the weirdest thing happened. She gasped and held a hand to her mouth, stopping her swinging abruptly. Which stopped mine too.  
>"What?" I said. She looked at me and shook her head.<br>Then she cleared her throat, "Uh…nothing…um….you just startled me that's all."  
>I relaxed a little and smiled, "Sorry, swinging just seemed like a good idea at the moment."<br>She nodded her head, "I understand, I was just trying to clear my head."  
>I nodded my head as well, "You have no idea."<p>

I continued to swing but I couldn't help noticing that something still wasn't right. I could feel this woman looking at me. I turned my head to her and what do you know, caught her staring.  
>"Do you always swing on deserted swing sets?" I asked. Her brows furrowed and then she realized it was a joke. She laughed oddly and shook her head.<br>"No actually, I'm usually always at work."  
>I looked at her and realized she couldn't be any older than me. Maybe even younger.<br>"You're too busy to get a life, huh? Me too…"

Fact was I wasn't busy. Just bored. She smiled but she still seemed a little on edge. Maybe she really didn't want anyone around her right now.  
>"I'm Emma."<br>She nodded her head, "Yeah…"  
>"What?"<br>She looked at me and blushed slightly, "How embarrassing. No, I mean….I don't…" She sighed and looked down for a moment.  
>"I'm in a bit of a trance right now. It's nice to meet you Emma. I'm…"<br>She stopped and I felt my smile slipping.  
>"Going to be late for my business meeting. I'm sorry. I do have to run." She jumped from her swing and the image reminded me from when I was younger. When Ally and I would compete and see who could land the farthest from our swing. I smiled and what's-her-name left.<p>

~~~~Meanwhile~~~~

The Joker walked incognito. Passing innocent spectators without second glances. On the very outskirts of Gotham, he walked back and forth along an old strip mall with nothing good to give. He was destined to leave already but the van was low on gas. He felt odd. A mixture of sadness, for he lost the one thing worth keeping to him. And anger, because her leaving meant he had to give up his city….their city….

"Ya making me dizzy, mistah." Her voice was raspy and delicate at the same time. It stopped the Joker in his tracks. He turned and a young woman, no older than 18, maybe, sat in a wooden chair outside the Starbucks. Next to her was a tall black ice coffee. Disgusting. And in her hands was a book. Its face so worn out the title was illegible.

"Excuse me?" the Joker responded, smacking his lips. He was in no mood to take shit from anyone. Female or not, they would die.  
>A crooked smiled shaped on the girl's lips, "Just sayin'. Ya know, if ya need help find'n some place, you could always ask."<br>The Joker huffed and turned around. The boys were taking too long.  
>"Of course, I know how it is. Guys don't have the balls to ask."<br>The Joker turned sharply and looked at this girl. She looked almost rugged. Like she lived in trash. But the way she had herself together, it was like she knew how sexy she was, and she was trying to make it work for her.

"What do ya want?" he hissed. The girl's eyebrows raised but she smiled.  
>"Not an attitude. I have my own." She shook her head and sipped on her coffee.<br>The Joker smiled, "You like your coffee black?"  
>She narrowed her eyes at him and smiled, "With ice."<br>The Joker contemplated getting his own coffee. Strange as it sounds, he needed a boost. Of course there's always booze…  
>"Do you know where the nearest liquor store is Miss…?"<p>

The girl sighed and looked up at him, "The name's Ellie. And you are?"  
>"….John Nixon."<br>Ellie smiled at the Joker's lie.  
>"So, Ellie. Do you know where the nearest liquor store is?"<br>Ellie sighed and shook her head disapprovingly, "You men are the all the same. It's Sunday. No near liquor store is gonna sell anything worth your while."

The Joker looked away and was already about to leave when her raspy voice chimed in again.  
>"Of course, I've got some pretty good stuff back at my place….. If you be interested."<br>The Joker turned to Ellie then and smiled.  
>"Of course."<p>

~~~~Emma~~~~

The walk around town was horrible. First, dozens of low lifes stared at me. Like I was some low life myself. And I know that I practically am, but I have an ego here! And plus, no one should be judging anyways….bunch of low lifes…..

To top it off, it rained. Twice since I'd left. So I was practically soaked by the time it started getting dark. And then things started getting scary. The moms and their kids began to take things inside. The grandma's with their stories and red hat tea parties began to break up. And now, the creatures of the night were beginning to appear. And I was among them.

I shivered and realized I'd better get somewhere and quick. How much did I have on me? $30. Was that enough for maybe a horrible room in some run down Gotham City hotel? Well hell, it should be.

I paced back and forth along streets I was only semi-familiar with. I seen some pretty ugly looking hotel rooms and then I just decided against it all. What was the worst that could happen? I would be kidnapped? Because I'm pretty sure I could deal. Although I'm not really in the mood for blood and violence. Or meeting new people.

I shrugged off my annoyances and concentrated really hard on the restaurant in front of me. It's closed, obviously. So it must be what now? 10.…11? Okay… wait. I know I've seen this place before. But where….

I didn't need to know when I had last seen this restaurant to know where I was at. Like God was sending me a miracle, my location dawned on me and I soon knew exactly where I was. And where I could go. But did I really want to go back to that hellhole? It was quite lonely there. But…. Where else could I vanish to for the night?

I finally reached a solution and decided that yes, I was going back to my own perdition. My isolation. And I was completely against it. And yet, that's where I was headed. What else could I do when I had no one? No place to go to? Nothing. So I just walked down the creepy, dimly lit road and turned left at the old road sign and realized that my calculations were correct. The woods were right there. About a mile walk ahead. Nothing but cold, dark, silence awaited for me. I walked anyways.

By the time I made it to the woods, I was utterly freaked. I'm afraid of the dark. Wait, no. I'm NOT afraid of the dark. I'm not afraid….nope… So why am I sprinting through the woods to a very less satisfying environment? I have no clue. I just kept running and dodging trees. Why didn't I take the driveway? I think its because I'm afraid. I feel as if someone bad is waiting for me. Someone terrible is lurking and waiting for me to just come walking by. And don't ask why I feel this way. These things are unexplainable, even to myself.

And then I saw that the outside garage light was on. And there was in fact a figure standing there.

~~~~Meanwhile~~~~

The Joker had just reached the end of the block with Ellie when a male voice shouted from behind, "Boss! I really need to talk to…." The man's voice stopped when he seen the Joker with this new chick. He turned around, anger and annoyance in his face. Henry froze and swallowed his next words. "And what the hell could you need this time?" Henry shook his head violently. The Joker released the young girl's wrist and stomped toward Henry. "WHAT THE HELL DO YA WANT? Can't you see… I'M BUSY!" Henry nodded his head, "Sorry boss, I just thought you'd like to know….."  
>The Joker grasped Henry's shoulder "Not unless it's important."<p>

The Joker turned around, figuring their conversation was over.  
>"I found this," Henry said. He knew this could be the end of him, but he was risking it anyways. He held up the photo and the Joker completely froze at the sight of it.<br>After a moment's silence, the Joker looked directly at Henry. "Why were you snooping through my things?" the Joker asked coolly.

Henry swallowed in fear and shook his head. "I-I wasn't…"  
>By now the scene had displeased Ellie and she had continued on her own to her apartment.<br>"Then why the HELL do you have it?" he snapped.  
>"It fell out…."<br>The Joker ripped the photo from his hands and shoved it in his pocket without a second glance. The Joker was too infuriated for words, he just turned around.  
>"I thought you'd-"<br>"WHAT?"  
>The Joker was now facing Henry again.<br>Henry, despite the large amount of fear inside him, spoke much more calmer than he felt, "I saw her."

Henry didn't expect the Joker's fury to vanish so quickly.  
>"I… don't care. At all. She's nothing," the Joker lied.<br>Henry nodded, "Well….."  
>Then turned around and began to pace back to where the crew was waiting.<br>"Where?"  
>Henry smiled and then slowly turned around. "Thought you might ask."<br>But the Joker's look made Henry's plan to lead him along completely vanish.  
>"At your apartment. When we went back for your…precious." He said the last word awkwardly, as it sounded weird aloud.<p>

~~~~Emma~~~~

I hid ever so closely to the tree I was closest to. Trying to make out the figure at the main door. But it was no luck. It was obviously no one I completely recognized. My heart sank. Now where was I suppose to go? Because my vision was limited by the darkness, my hearing seemed to work 10 times better than it usually does. I listened carefully.  
>"What was the point of this? I thought we were gone for good?"<br>"Yeah, well, I'm not sure myself."

Both voices were male, that much was obvious. And they seemed familiar. But maybe that was my mind playing tricks on me. Maybe I wanted it so badly to be someone I knew.  
>"Seems were stuck her' until some'n happens."<p>

One of the males, unfortunately hidden behind another tree yawned loudly and I couldn't help but to yawn myself.  
>"You gotta cig?"<br>"Nah, haven't been no drug store lately. Damn freakzoid won't stop anywhere but liquor stores."  
>"And your point is…?"<br>"I am not paying no damn 6 bucks for ciggs. We're underpaid as it is!"

I rested my back against the tree, no longer caring to look at the two indistinct figures. I just really wanted them to be gone already.

"Pansy."  
>One of the guys sighed too loudly. And it reminded me of an annoyed child.<br>"Wonder what's taking so long?"  
>"Ya know the boss. This could take all damn night."<br>I instantly froze at the use of 'boss.' Now I know there are many other mafia mob things out there, and many of the head honchos probably go by 'boss', but these voices sounded familiar.  
>I rolled from the tree I was at and stood at another angle. I could barely make out reflections of taillights. But I couldn't quite tell whether they were a van's or not.<p>

"Wish he'd hurry. What's he looking for anyways? He said he had everything he needed when he left."

I gulped. Okay, maybe the months I was gone, the Joker had left and some other gang moved in and left before I returned. But what were the chances of that happening?

These two must be out here on guard. I sucked in a breath of air and decided to bite the bullet. I slowly walked out from behind the tree I was hiding behind and walked the last 10 yards or so into visible range. Immediately the two thugs raised their weapons at me. But I wasn't so much as scared. Because both froze at the sight of me. The guy I could see from far behind, I did recognize. The other, I had no clue who he was.  
>"Henry, go get Boss."<p>

The man I found to be as Henry, stood frozen for a moment and then turned around and walked inside the garage.  
>"Aw, doll face, have we missed-"<br>"Don't call me that," I said quietly. But I was sure he heard it.  
>"You look… awful."<br>"Thanks," I said, agitation in my voice. The cold air was getting to me and instead of listening to what's-his-name, I walked around him.  
>"Hey! Get back here."<br>I shrugged my shoulders and kept walking until I reached the garage door. Then I went inside.  
>"Suit yourself," he yelled back as the door shut.<p>

I could only explain it as an adrenaline rush and a want that made me run full blast across the garage and up those emergency stairs. I hated it, but I was absolutely wanting, needing to see him. I reached the 3rd floor, where I knew he would be and entered the main hallway. Silence. And then a door creaked open and out came Henry. Who stopped and looked at me. And then the Joker walked out of the room from behind him.

It was like a scene from a movie. Because we both just stood there speechless. Emotionless. I knew the look on my face read nothing but boredom and annoyance. As did his. We were mirror images. And neither of us said anything for a good five hours. (Or so it seemed. More like 30 seconds, I do believe.)


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

The first noise was from Henry. He cleared his throat and moved restlessly through the tension that had suddenly intensified.  
>"Well, I'mma just…." and without another word he walked past me and left the two of us. I think for the first time in the past minute I released the breath I hadn't noticed I was holding. And blinked. The Joker though, continued to stare straight through me.<p>

Finally, my eyes dropped to the floor and I opened my mouth to speak.  
>"I gave you your chance," he said rather calmly. I looked up and seen that his eyes had finally focused and his face had flushed red.<br>"My chance…?" I quietly questioned.  
>"I let you go, dollface. Let you right off your leash," he hissed.<br>"I know…"  
>"YOU! Came. Back!" He said each word carefully. "You came back like the hopeless mutt I know you to be."<br>I expected a smile on his face. Some kind of enjoyment in him from all of this. But I got nothing.

I sighed and blinked back the tears that were coming. I really did NOT want to cry. How cliché would that be? Me, crying. What next? A loving hug? Sheesh.  
>I laughed instead, "You were right."<br>A moment of silence and I still kept my head down.  
>"I tried to go home, and I just came back. Hell, I didn't even leave Gotham…not entirely…. that says a lot…."<br>"You lied to me Emma! I HATE liars."  
>"I know," my voice cracked. "I lied just as much as you did!"<br>I wish I would just die!  
>I heard the Joker sigh.<br>"You could've left. You could've went home…"  
>I nodded my head.<br>"I didn't. I don't belong home anymore. I'm….. just a freak."  
>I laughed but it was just hysterics. Nothing was funny. Not exactly. I was just…. well, going insane. For a lack of better words.<p>

"Yeah. You are."  
>I looked up and was glad to feel some of the tension had disappeared.<br>"What was it that made us so… interesting?" he asked in a devilish voice. I bit my lip and shrugged my shoulders. And then he did something I should've expected but didn't quite expect. He pulled out his knife.

My eyes widened but my body slumped annoyingly.  
>"Ah, doll face, you remember all the fun we use to have? I know you haven't forgotten <em>any of it.<em>"  
>I think maybe I had closed my eyes for 2 seconds tops, but when I opened them, he was right there. His hand grabbed my face, but not violently. And the slick silver of the knife was on my neck. I shivered underneath of it. I knew he would cut me, if he wanted to. And this is why I came back?<p>

The Joker laughed and slid the knife across my exposed neck.  
>"You're so much prettier when you're mine, dollface. You know that?"<br>Then his lips met mine. And those annoying tears I kept hidden finally let loose. He kissed me so passionately, I couldn't believe he was really the person I knew he was. And then the knife slid ever so loosely from his grip and I heard it fall to the ground. His hand slid to the back of my neck and he released my face.

I was so amazed at myself. This was against everything I lived for.  
>And then his hand traveled down to the small of my back, using force to push me against him. I broke away from his kiss, trembling.<p>

"Ah ah! Not this time, my pet. This time, your mine," he whispered. He crashed his lips against mine again and I gave in. I had nothing now. Nothing but him. I didn't know anything except that I was kissing him. Again. And I was moving. I let myself go. I fell into the bed behind me and wrapped my arms around his neck.

~~~~Meanwhile~~~~

Frost chuckled deeply and turned to his men. He nodded his head and smiled greatly.  
>"We have her boys. We're getting our money back."<p>

After weeks of pleading and teasing, Kara had finally gotten her way and had been allowed to attend some of Frost's meetings. Except, this was absolutely torture. Because she knew the truth. The girl in the next room was not Emma. It was some innocent girl. But if she told the truth, Frost would go back out looking for her and kill the innocent woman they have next door.

And Emma seemed like such a sweetheart. She couldn't let that happen. Kara bit back tears and listened to what Frost was saying.

"So, here's the plan. We'll send a very worried phone call from his squeeze and have her explain what's happening. It's simple, really. We'll have him meet….uh, well, we'll figure this one out later. Anyways. He won't be able to resist, he'll meet us with the money."

Frost scanned the group of puppets in front of him.  
>"That's when you'll come in. You guys will fire like it's the 4th of July. We'll take the money and go. Then, seeing as this Emma of his must be a freak herself, we'll finish her off next. Can't risk any more future violence."<p>

"No!" protested Kara. She stood up and felt instantly embarrassed as all eyes were on her.  
>"What?" asked Frost annoyingly.<br>"Why can't you just let the two of them go…" she said a bit quietly.  
>"They'd come back for us, Kara. Do you really want that?"<p>

She could tell Frost's mention of 'us' was secretly about him and her. She shook her head and sat down. Tears filled her eyes as she realized some innocent girl was going to die. Maybe two. She could barely take this anymore. But she still just sat quietly and watched as Frost went on further with his plan. His men supplied themselves with the weapons they might need. Eventually everyone was busying themselves with something.

"Frost…." said Kara. Her red hair shielded her face. If there was any hope in saving either girl, she would at least try.  
>"What," he replied sharply.<br>"What if this situation were reversed?"  
>Frost froze for a moment. His silence was not what she had expected.<br>"He's a narcissistic freak, Kara. She must be too."  
>"You're a killer," she said rather coldly. "And here I am. Still with you. How can you say she's mad? Others would say the same about me."<br>Frost shook his head. "It's not the same, Kara."  
>"It is and you know it! Just let this one go. Let us go, please."<br>"No!" Frost slammed his fist into the wall. "Damn it, Kara. I told you. Frost is done after this."

Kara's eyes filled with tears. She shook her head and walked away. Frost let her go, too. He wasn't going to stop her. She'd just try and convince him to stop. He wanted his money. He wanted enough to give Kara everything she'd ever wanted. And then some.

~~~~Emma~~~~

When I did reach consciousness the next day, every last detail of the night before flooded my mind. And more questions began to form. So I was safe in bed. This was a fact. Or at least some sort of safe. And well, needless to say, clothes less. So here was my indifference. Did I love myself? Did I care enough to know that because of my actions, I was sure to die? Or did this not phase me anymore? Did I really love him more than I loved myself? Than I loved my family? Because I'm more than sure he loves himself more than me. Well, way more than me.

And why am I alone? The myth that every man will leave after sex must be true. I felt….good. And in some ways, I felt that I completely betrayed everyone I formerly loved. Or still loved. My family, who I dearly missed, would hate me if they knew I left them for some sadistic, insane, murderer. My sister. She would loathe me. Hate every last aspect of me.

And Sean and Amanda. So what if Sean was actually some cheater who didn't deserve to live on some days. I mean, I loved Amanda. Or did I? I couldn't even tell her the truth. That her fiancé was cheating on her. Maybe that's why I wasn't her Maid of Honor. Of course, I knew the truth of that one, too.

Sure, I came off as Amanda's best friend. Her roommate, her twin separated from birth. But she used me, a lot. I always wrote her long essays in college. I didn't want to lose my best friend, so I just did it. I was often the DD, even though I didn't care for drinking anyways, she never thought to ask me if I wanted to have fun. She kicked me out of the dorm when she had guys over. She made me mad. A lot. She stole the bracelet my mom gave me. She knew I knew. And I didn't do crap.

And yet, I still felt I was betraying the both of them, beyond the grave. Or wherever they were buried.

But before my mind could wonder any further, the door creaked open. The Joker walked in, in his usual attire, with a black cell phone to his ear.

Despite what my internal gut was saying, that what I was doing was wrong, I still kneeled on the bed and wrapped my hands around his neck.

I pressed my body against his and the Joker wrapped one arm around my back.  
>"It seemsssssss," he said into the phone, "I have some unfinished business, good sir. We'll take care of this when I'm not busy."<br>He snapped the phone shut. And a smile spread across his face. "You're so needy Emma. Always begging… pleading… for something. Was last night not enough?"  
>And what was my response?<p>

I kissed him.

After some unknown length of time, I fell onto the bed. The Joker was laying next to me, still mostly clothed and breathing as steadily as if he had been sleeping. What am I doing?... Sigh.. Something at my ankle vibrated and the Joker retrieved his phone.

"Wha-" the Joker began.  
>A voice murmured on the other end and the Joker's face went from annoyed, to serious, to happy.<br>"Oh really…. You say you have her?"  
>The Joker listened intently and his smile vanished. He threw the phone to me.<br>I held it for a second and figured I might as well answer it.  
>I cleared my throat, "Hello?"<br>"Wh-what!"  
>The other voice sounded fully surprised.<br>"Who is this?"  
>I hesitated a moment. "Who are you?"<br>"Tell the Joker I have her. And I'm willing to kill her if I don't get my money."  
>I gulped, "Kill who?"<br>"His lover."  
>Oh and how can that be?<br>"Who's that?" I asked. The voice laughed, but I could tell he was annoyed.  
>"Emma."<br>Well, at least he thinks its me.  
>"Sure," I said, slightly thoughtless. The man on the other end sighed. And I heard the phone fumble.<br>I heard ragged breathing and a scared, "Hello."  
>I completely froze.<br>"Ally?"  
>"Em-"<br>And then the phone was cut off.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

"That-that…" Was Ally?  
>But what was she doing here?<br>She left…. Right?  
>We look nothing alike!<br>If someone was trying to get me… well they f'd up big time.  
>Ally…<br>I didn't notice when the Joker actually left the room. I was just laying there, still as stone, and taking in what just happened. Somebody, who wants what the Joker owes, kidnapped my sister, thinking I was her. Now, because of me, because I've slept with the man who made me hate the world, my sister's life is in jeopardy.  
>And he doesn't give a damn. At all.<br>And like that something snapped in me.

I looked around the room, for something, for anything. And as if God answered my prayers, or maybe the devil himself did, I saw a gun laying on the old desk in the room. It was silver and shiny; a prized possession. Feeling that somewhere inside me I was still Emma, I got enough self-respect together to throw on an over-sized t-shirt. Well, it'll do. Then I grabbed the pistol and left.

I slammed the door behind me and headed to the stairs.  
>I ran down them.<br>Really fast.  
>I opened the metal door to the garage and entered.<br>There were voices, I didn't care whose. I just knew that one of them was the Joker's.  
>He was across the room, talking to three of his men.<br>"Uh, boss…." said one of the guys. I realized now that I didn't recognize him. Or the other two. Why was he always getting rid of people?  
>The Joker turned around and eyed me. A smile spread across his face.<br>"You are going to fix this," I said.  
>He looked at me, his smile faded, and then he eyed the pistol in my hand, and it reappeared.<br>"Control your bitch, J," said a guy, shorter than myself, with way less hair.  
>I pointed the gun at him, "My name is EMMA!" I shouted, and pulled the trigger.<br>I froze; everyone did. Except for whatshisname, who was wailing and screaming on the floor. Thank goodness, I didn't kill him.  
>Never thought I'd be thinking that.<p>

The Joker turned back to the mess I just made.  
>"Are you going to fix THAT, Emma?"<br>I didn't say a word.  
>"Get him out of here, both of you."<br>The two men nodded their heads and dragged the injured one away.  
>Once they left, silence filled the distance between the Joker and me.<br>He turned around to me, "Fix what, cupcake?"  
>My voice cracked, "Ally. You know what she means to me."<br>"Nothing?"  
>That hit me hard.<br>"Why would you say that?" I said, lowering my arm.  
>"Have I not broken you enough, my pet?"<br>I looked away, my sudden ferocity was replaced with tears. And lots of them. I shook my head. This wasn't happening. I cannot believe I had gone so wrong.

I raised the gun again, "Damn it! You are going to fix this. You have to save my sister."  
>"Or what, Emma? You'll shoot?"<br>The Joker lifted his arms, walking closer to me.  
>"Then do it, Emma. Shoot me."<br>He placed the tip of the gun on his forehead.  
>"Pull the damn trigger."<br>I shook my head and lowered the gun. This was too much.  
>I love my sister. She can't go…<br>I lifted the gun to my own head, and that changed everything.  
>"Emma…." he said seriously. "That won't save Ally."<br>"No," I began, "But then I won't give a damn, will I?"  
>The Joker hesitated and then shortly realized this wasn't a game anymore.<br>This is what I've come to.

"Emma, through all we've been through? You'd really do this to me?"  
>"DO THIS TO YOU? LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!"<br>The Joker sighed, "What am I without my angel?"  
>"You can't be anything less," I said.<br>"I'd be dead."

My hand was shaky and I could feel my heartbeat racing. The Joker slowly lifted his hand to the gun that was still glued to the side of my head. Then, he lowered it. My hand followed and soon the gun was at my side. I sighed…  
>I felt horrible for having this gun. But Ally meant the world to me. He was right though, this wouldn't save her.<p>

I lightly placed it on the ground. Tears streamed my face. The Joker walked over to me and wiped them away. His arms wrapped around me. And although I was fighting right and wrong, light and dark, I remained neutral for now. How many people have somebody to embrace them?

"Whatever you want, Emma, I will give you," he said.  
>"I want my sister safe," I said back.<br>It was a moment before he said anything.  
>Then he laughed and pulled away.<br>Then he kissed me. Hard.  
>Then he stopped smiling…<br>He just stared at me."  
>"Looks like someone's gonna die tonight!"<p>

He burst into a fit of laughter and the sound of it was completely demonic. All I could think was, 'What have I gotten myself into?'

We arrived at some huge towering skyscraper. Probably a place of business, definitely a place of power. The plan was, meet on the 30th floor, like we were told to do. Except we were arriving a bit early. We all had suitcases. Why in the world the Joker had this many suitcases, I had no idea. This didn't look believable, but sure enough, all $100,000 were there.

We exited the van and entered through a back entrance. The Joker went ahead of me and I followed behind. We stopped short in a long hallway. It was eerily quiet for a….. What day is it anyway? One of the Joker's henchmen went through the two, large swing doors and all was quiet momentarily. The Joker looked at me and I looked at him. This had to work. We were sneaking onto private premises, and this 'Frost' guy was more rich and more powerful than anyone in Gotham. I looked at my newly assigned wristwatch. It was approximately 5:35am. We were supposed to meet at 5 this evening, however, we had better ideas.

Finally, the henchmen came back. I couldn't tell who was who, for they all were dressed in black and wearing their trademark clown masks.  
>He nodded at the Joker, "All clear. The scumbag must haf no brains. No watchouts, nuttin down here."<br>The Joker smiled, this was exactly what he hoped for. To sneak up on the bastard and at this time of day, no one was around.  
>When we walked through the swing doors, we entered the main lobby. No one was behind the front desk. The lights were all off.<br>A sign on the front desk clarified some of my confusion. This place doesn't open on Sundays until 9am.  
>It's Sunday.<br>I used to go to church with my family on Sundays.  
>Oh, I'd like to confess to a few things right about now.<p>

We hurried past the front, paying most attention to the placement of cameras. Was this guy so foolish as to not have cameras everywhere? Did he really think everyone thought of him as a threat?  
>We reached the elevator and pressed the up button.<br>Waiting, we were all on pins and needles, not exactly paying attention to the fact that the elevator wasn't coming.  
>I sighed, quite loudly, everyone looked at me.<br>"The elevator isn't coming," I said.  
>Then came a chorus of grumpy sighs from the clown masks. I thought this was kinda funny.<br>"Well, boys, girl, looks like we'll have to walk," he said, turning his back on all of us.

30 floors of Hell! I don't know how many steps that is, but it sure is a lot. Too many, if you ask me. By the time we reached the top, I was ready to fall to my knees. But seeing as everyone else was fine but winded, I sucked it up.  
>"What room?" asked one of the henchmen<br>The Joker went through the doors to the main hallway of floor 30. We followed.  
>"What room, boss?" he asked again.<br>The Joker didn't answer, he just surveyed the hallway. Lined with doors, like you'd see in a hotel. He stroked his chin as he thought, and this natural action made me feel odd.

Everyone stood silently in the hallway. I was afraid that any minute someone might walk in on us. That we'd be shot. Killed. We had the money here, which was a you-know-what to haul up 30 floors. I wanted my sister back. I didn't want this to be all for nothing.  
>"Please," I began, in a voice barely over a whisper, "Can we just get this over with?"<br>The Joker turned around at my voice.  
>"Don't you get it?" he asked, keeping his voice down as well, "Don't you understand what he wants?"<br>I gave him a confused look. He wants his money you took from him, was what I wanted to say.  
>The henchmen seemed to all just disappear. They were not here.<br>"He wants me dead, he wants you dead, then he wants his damn money," he finished for me. His voice had changed, and it was a tone I had never heard before.

Then he snapped out of it.  
>"You," He pointed to the guy on my left, "Go to the end of this hall."<br>The man nodded his head and slowly made his way down the hallway.  
>"You," he pointed to the guy closest to me, "Arm the staircase."<br>Then he nodded at me and I followed him down the hallway.  
>"Wh-what about me, boss?" said the last guy.<br>The Joker continued walking, "Go get me some candy."  
>The henchmen laughed and the Joker turned around.<br>"No, I'm serious."  
>He stopped laughing.<p>

I rolled my eyes. Whatever.

We walked about midway down the hall before the Joker stopped. He placed his hand on the doorknob of room 3012.  
>But he didn't open it just yet.<br>"This is his room," he said.  
>I didn't have to ask.<br>"We use to work together. Boy is he one greedy bastard."  
>"You two worked together?"<br>"In a way, yes. I did low-key business for him. He didn't know who I was."  
>I nodded my head.<br>"Which is why you keep your enemies close, Emma."

With that, he opened the door.

The first room was all dark. I realized that this building must be big. Because this wasn't just a room, it was a condominium. And the living room was empty. It looked like a place that was probably never used. We entered the room and the Joker sat on one of the couches. It was leather, fully expensive. Unless this guy went bankrupt, I couldn't see why he would want more money.  
>I stood there looking at the Joker.<br>He looked at me, then patted the seat next to him.  
>I furrowed my brows.<br>"What are you doing?" I whispered.  
>"I should ask you the same," he whispered back.<br>He reclined, putting his hands behind his head and shutting his eyes.

Okay, this was pissing me off. I thought we were here to save my sister. What was he doing?  
>He opened one eye and looked at me. I sighed.<br>He smiled and sat up.  
>"Damn, Emma," he began. "We can't shoot him in his sleep."<br>"Why not?" I asked.  
>He laughed, "Do you know which room your sister is in?"<br>True.  
>"Then wake him up."<br>He laughed again and shook his head.  
>"He always locks his door."<br>This was totally frustrating.  
>"What the hell! Blow the damn door off and go confront him!"<br>The Joker looked away from me.  
>"You know what was odd about my dear pal, Frost?" He began. "He didn't like being so weak."<br>Who does?  
>I sighed, quite loudly, as to show off my frustration.<br>He smiled at this. Of course he would.  
>"My point is, the moment we burst through his door, we're dead."<p>

I eyed the floor.  
>"So what, we just wait for him to wake up?"<br>The Joker nodded his head.  
>"So why the hell did we get here so early?"<br>"The early bird always gets the worm, Emma."

~~~Meanwhile~~~~

Kara shook her head. She was so tired. She hadn't gotten any sleep. No, because Frost trusted her the most, she had to babysit his victim.

"Kara, hun, it's this one night. Stay up for me babe, do what you can to make sure she stays quiet." Frost said. Kara was crying her eyes out. Frost lifted her chin.  
>"Once we have our money, we're gone," he said.<br>Kara nodded her head. She could hear the truth in his words and see the truth in his eyes. That's what he wanted. To get his money and to leave the country with Kara.  
>"But this is wrong," she began. "She's not a thing."<br>"Oh but she is," Kara said. "She loves a monster."  
>Kara shook her head. She knew the truth. This woman wasn't Emma. And why the Joker decided to come get her, she had no idea. Maybe Emma had left him… maybe he believed Emma was here. She began crying even worse.<br>"So do I," she said quietly.  
>She looked up at Frost's expression. It had gone very cold. But it wasn't aimed at her. It was aimed at himself.<br>"I do what I must to-" he stopped and closed his yes. Then reopened them and looked into Kara's blue ones.  
>"I do what I must, Kara."<br>She nodded her head.  
>"I ask anyone else to watch her, and they're sure to touch her."<br>Kara looked up at him. She never thought of that. So in some messed up, sick way, Frost was doing a good thing leaving Kara to watch this woman.  
>"Fine," she said coldly.<br>Frost bent and gave her a kiss. Which lasted a few moments. The two of them were ready to go all night, but finally Kara pulled away.  
>"Maybe you should go rest, then."<br>He nodded and then kissed her forehead,  
>"Until morning," he said, and then left.<p>

It was good that this woman was asleep most of the time. She was beaten up, but not too bad, just bruised. Nothing was broken. Kara sighed deeply. It was at least an easy night to watch her.  
>Curse the devil. She opened her eyes.<br>The woman blinked rapidly then finally absorbed her situation. What was odd was she didn't kick or scream. She just sat there.  
>"Where's my sister?" she asked, her voice was rough.<br>"What?" said Kara.  
>She looked at Kara.<br>Kara felt horrible. The woman's eyes were filled with fear, but the fear wasn't for herself. It was for her sister.  
>"I don't know who your sister is," Kara said. "She's not here."<br>The woman nodded her head and began crying.  
>"Why am I here?" she asked.<br>Kara shrugged her shoulders.  
>"I don't know for sure," she lied, and almost began crying herself.<br>The woman shook her head.  
>Kara looked away from her.<br>Soon, this would all be done and over with. She would have everything she could ever want and most of all, she'd be with Cole. And then they could live a happy life together.  
>She sighed.<br>The woman began crying again.  
>"You have the wrong person, trust me," she said.<br>"What's your name?" asked Kara.  
>The woman stiffened but kept an eye on Kara.<br>"Ally," she said.  
>Kara nodded, and although she hated to do it, she replied back, "Then we've got the right girl."<p>

I had almost fallen asleep when the living room lights clicked on. 'This must be the man,' I thought while looking at him. But he looked so young.  
>"What the….?" he said.<br>He was half asleep, wearing a black silk robe. He crossed his arms across his chest.  
>"So, you came?" he asked.<br>The Joker stood up, a smile spreading across his face.  
>Frost's smile faded when he seen me sitting safely on the couch. But it still didn't dawn on him that he had the wrong girl locked up somewhere.<br>"Change of heart?" he asked.  
>The Joker's face went still, "I want my pet back."<br>Frost gave him the same expression, "I want my money back."


	25. Chapter 25

**One chapter left after this one!**

**CHAPTER 25**

The room was suddenly very, very tense. I wasn't sure what to do. Keep quiet and remain unnoticed. Or run like hell. I opted for the former. I sat in silence.  
>"I have every last dime you could want, sport," said the Joker.<br>With a smirk, Frost nodded his head, "Where is it?"  
>The Joker began laughing, "Hahahaha, nooooooo, son. That's not how I work. See, you tell me now where my girl is, or I'll paint the walls with your face."<br>The Joker cocked his gun and raised it to Frost's head.  
>"Fair deal," Frost replied. "She's down the hall, very last door on the left. Room 3030."<br>The Joker looked questioningly at Frost.  
>Frost spoke up, "But uh, why do you want her anyway. Seems this pretty little thing over here is much, much more attractive. What if, and here's a deal. What if, we trade girls….. "<br>The Joker laughed.  
>"No, Joker. I'm being honest. I keep the money, we trade girls, and I let you out of this building alive."<br>The Joker licked his lips, a habit I knew very well.  
>"No," he said. "You've forgotten, pal, that I'm the one with the upper hand. Your thugs aren't here remember?"<br>Frost laughed viciously, "I got the cops on my team, clown. And here's the funny part, they're already on their way. So, deal or no deal?"  
>The Joker was out of ideas for the moment.<br>"Go check 3030," he said to me. I nodded and quickly made my way out of the room.

~~~~Emma~~~~

I ran down the hall. I wanted more than anything to reach 3030 and see my sister. As soon as I made it to the door though, I froze. Ally would know everything once she saw me. She'd know this was my fault. She'd know who I was, what I did, and she'd hate me. I could never hide anything from her. There was a moment where I just felt like running for the stairs. Running, leaving, and not returning. And I honestly felt that I could do that. But that wasn't me. I caused my sister enough hurt, a little more won't kill her like Frost will.  
>I took some deep breaths.<br>Your baby sister is a monster, Ally.  
>A monster.<br>My hand stayed on the doorknob. I licked my lips nervously, then, I finally opened the door.

I was instantly confused and somewhat shocked.  
>First, this wasn't a condo like I had expected. It was a dark, empty room stripped of everything. Stone walls, stone floor. And the only light was the light emitting from a small lamp towards the left side of the room.<p>

Second, I recognized who sat there. The little red head I met in the park, what seemed like ages ago. My first thought was she was a victim as well. And the thought that this innocent girl was trapped, well, it flared up something inside me I'd never felt before. But then realization kicked in when I seen that she wasn't bound but instead sat comfortably in a wooden chair. And her hand lifelessly held a gun.

Third, I finally looked to the opposite side of the room and I saw Ally. She was bruised, but not as bad as I had imagined. She hadn't registered it was me until she heard my voice.  
>"Ally," I said. Finally, I could breathe. I could move. Without second thought of the redhead next to me, I ran over to my sister.<br>"Ally, oh god, Ally. I'm so, so sorry," I said, all the while loosening the rope that kept her bound. "This is my fault. You shouldn't be here. They've done something bad, Ally. I'm so, so sorry. Maybe one day you could forgive me. Maybe you can see that I'm still your baby sister. That'd I still like to go home and watch Titanic with you. I haven't forgotten you, Ally. I really haven't."  
>I was panting, out of breath, and speechless. I was on the floor weeping, and my sister was sitting there next to me. She held me like she did so many years ago. When the Joker, when he was little. When I heard him kill his father. Damn, all of this over a childhood. Parents these days have no idea what they're getting into.<p>

Ally was crying and stroking my hair. The light was hitting my face now, and I couldn't see her expression. I didn't want to.  
>"Oh, Emma," she said, "Your beautiful face, Emma. What has he done to you?'<br>I could only cry like a blubbering two year old that got caught doing something bad. She just looked at my face. I could imagine the scars there. I could imagine seeing my face in a new light. She must hate me. But she didn't let me know it if she did. She just cried along with me.  
>"Just tell me why, Emma. Why?" she asked.<br>I looked up at her, searching for her face in the dark, "Everyone needs someone, Ally. Who am I without him?"  
>Ally didn't respond back. She just held me tighter.<p>

That's about the time I noticed the redhead staring at us. Anger flared inside me and I stood up, stomping over to her hunched frame.  
>"WHY!" I screamed. She looked up at me, tears rushing down her milky face. The gun slipped from her hand.<br>"I'm in love with a monster," she said. "Could you ever forgive me?"  
>I sighed and instead turned away from her. I felt something being tugged inside me. I had a connection with her, but Ally didn't need to know that right away.<br>"Come on Ally, we're leav-"

After Emma left the room, the Joker turned back to Frost,  
>"Where, is my money?" Frost asked again.<br>The Joker nodded his head and laughed, "Yes, right away, sir. If you would follow me."  
>But before the Joker could leave Frost halted him.<br>"No, no, Joker. Tell me where my money is."  
>"In the hallway, near the staircase."<br>Then Frost gave the Joker a sketchy eye. That's not an odd place at all to put $100,000. He didn't trust him, not one bit.  
>Frost slowly maneuvered his way to his front door. Then slowly, he opened it and took a look down the hallway. Sure enough, 5 suitcases laid neatly stacked down the hallway.<br>"Wait here," he said.  
>The Joker laughed, but obediently stayed. He counted the seconds on his hand.<br>10...  
>Frost made his way down the opposite end of the hallway. He was headed to room 3030.<p>

9.….  
>He was planning on barging in and taking the sweet , bounded Emma away, just in case the Joker was trying to pull one over him.<p>

8.…  
>But the scene he crept in on was a bit different.<p>

7.…  
>The girl who was once bound spoke, "Just tell me why, Emma. Why?"<p>

6.…  
>Realization dawned on him.<br>He had the wrong girl.  
>All along.<p>

5.…  
>Then, the one who he now knew to be Emma approached his woman. His Kara.<br>"I'm in love with a monster," she said.

4.…  
>"Could you ever forgive me?"<p>

3.…  
>Something enraged Frost, and he stepped in, grasping Emma by the arm and tugging her harshly into the hallway.<p>

2.…  
>He pulled out his gun from his robe pocket and held it to her head.<p>

1.…  
>"HELP!" she screeched; what an annoying voice.<p>

0.

The Joker knew instantly who was screaming for help. Emma, his sweet, loving Emma. He bolted out of the room and looked upon Frost. His arm wrapped seductively around Emma's waist. The other holding a pistol up to the side of her head.

~~~~Emma~~~~

"Now what!" he yelled to the Joker. His grip on me was quite strong and struggling frightened me even more, for every time I moved, it seemed his gun pushed deeper into my head. The Joker stood quite stoically, not showing any emotion.  
>"Thought you could play me, ay J man?" Frost laughed manically. "Well, you're wrong! I've got your Emma now. It's all over."<br>"What, why!" I screamed. "You have your money!"  
>I just barely heard the redhead's voice from behind me, "Please, Cole, don't."<br>He turned to look at her, "Shut up, Kara!"  
>I stared, frightened to death, at the man who started this all. I heard my sister crying behind me. And yet, I still only wanted to be over there with him. A smile grew on his face and he slowly walked down the long hallway.<p>

Frost sensed his movement and quickly looked back at the Joker.  
>"Don't move! Or I'll shoot."<br>The Joker laughed maliciously, "Do it then. She doesn't mean a thing to me."  
>Although I knew he was bluffing, it still surprised me that he would take such a big risk.<br>Kara screamed, "NO!"  
>Frost turned around the moment she started screaming.<br>Was her 'no' because she didn't want Frost to shoot me?  
>No. Not at all.<br>It was because the Joker had pulled his gun out too.  
>Frost made a very, fatal mistake.<br>BANG.  
>The body behind me fell back from the impact. I could feel dots of blood on my face. A moment past before I realized I hadn't been the one who was shot. And Ally was no longer screaming. I only assumed she had fainted. She did that a lot in high school. Good.<p>

There was a moment's silence again, where I made eye contact with the Joker. I lowered my eyes, already anticipating what happened next.  
>"NOOO!" Kara's scream was unlike any I've ever heard. Like her heart had been ripped from her body. I didn't want to turn around. There was a rushing of noises coming to me at once. The sound of what must have been Ally, puking. Kara behind me, screaming and wailing a pain I had never felt before. And never wanted to feel. And the shouting of cops running down the hallway. Then another, BANG. And the screaming behind me stopped. But the Joker didn't do it. I watched him the whole time.<p>

The whole time, while the cops ran down the hallway, pointing guns at everyone.  
>While they arrested him.<br>While they wrapped a weak blanket around me.  
>While they carried my sister to the elevator.<br>While they lifted the lifeless form of Kara into a body bag.  
>Oh, I cried.<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

Police stations are anything but comfortable. There was this debate. A huge debate, going on in the room behind me. I was handcuffed to the door handle attached to the door that marked the bathroom. Wasn't I lucky? Damn Gotham and its inability to have more police stations. This one was maxed.

I stared at my right hand, the one free of handcuffs. I looked at the pink puckered skin that marked itself in the middle of my palm. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Now what was going to happen? The men behind me were debating on my life right now. Was I guilty? No one could see why I would be. I looked innocent to them. But no one considered that I just wasn't guilty. And I was really hoping this would not end in a group therapy session.

Back in Frost's building, I had gone completely nuts when they stole my sister away. Screaming and kicking, I wanted her back. I wanted to see her now. And once I finally regained myself in the back of a police car, the officer was kind enough to tell me she was being escorted to a hospital. And that was good enough for me. Now, what the hell did they do with my angel?

I laughed at that last part.  
>"What' so funny, doll face?"<br>I nodded my head, "Oh, I'm just thinking."  
>"You are too cute-tah. And by the way, those handcuffs have given me ideas…."<br>I sighed. Consequently, I looked up. The Joker sat behind bars, directly ahead of me. It was like a 'rest stop', shall I say? No room in Gotham. But he'll just have to wait here anyway. And I had to wait with him. Did I like this? Yes. Did I hate this? Oh, yes. Luckily though, I wasn't the one already branded and behind bars.

The Joker stared right back at me. His make-up was a mess. And they had taken his jacket from him. He just gave me that same wicked smile he always gave me.  
>"This isn't over, doll face," he said. Looking at him now, and hearing him speak those words, that's what scared me. I knew it wasn't over. It never would be. Not until we both were dead.<br>"You are, how can I put this," he began, smacking his lips together. "A poison. No, no, no. A weakness! My weakness."  
>He laughed maniacally.<br>"Emeralda, you are my weakness. And I, well I'm your strength."  
>I laughed.<br>"I make you stronger, Emma. You may not see it this way yet, but how much more determined are you now, to be the opposite of what I am?"  
>He had a point there.<br>The Joker closed his eyes for a brief second, then reopened them. I couldn't help but stare at them. So much death, so much suffering, were in those eyes. My eyes.

He licked his lips, "This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren't you?"  
>Finally, I looked away. Scanning the ceiling as an obvious escape from his eyes.<br>"You know what I believe, Emma?" he asked.  
>"No."<br>He laughed and replied rather harshly, "My dear Emma, _look at me_."  
>Give me mood swings and I can give them back. I hung my head and cradled my scarred hand to myself.<br>I heard the Joker mumbling, "Please. Please, Emma. Look at me. Please."  
>I smiled and looked up at him. Meeting his eyes with my own.<br>"Those beautiful golden pools… now where was I?"  
>I sighed, "I never can guess what you believe."<br>"Ah, right, right," the Joker said, awkwardly rubbing his hands together. "I believe you and I are destined to do this forever."  
>"I believe you're right," I said.<br>The Joker never stopped staring at me. And although I stopped staring at him, I could still feel him watching me.

After what seemed like an hour of awkward silence and back pains from this metal bench, the door to my right opened and a police officer came over and undid my handcuffs.  
>"You're a free girl, Emma," he began. "Would you….."<br>He sighed and gave me a look of total displeasure. This must be awkward for him.  
>"Do you think-Would you like help? Getting through your situation. Talk to someone?"<br>Horrible, horrible.  
>I laughed.<br>"No," I said. "Thank you, sir."  
>The cop nodded his head.<br>The Joker started whistling a tune….a child's riddle. What was it?  
>The cop glared at him.<br>I spoke up, "I'd just like to know what you're going to be doing with him?"  
>After a quick glance to the door from which he just came through, the cop looked back to me.<br>"Knowing you situation, I feel you have every right to know," he said.  
>I smiled quite sweetly at him.<br>"Thank you, sir. So what are you going to do with… with him?"  
>The cop cleared his throat, "That's for Arkham to decide."<br>The Joker burst into a fit of laughter.  
>"I'll get your release forms and the information to your sister's whereabouts. After that, you are free to leave."<br>I nodded my smiling face at him, "Thank you, sir."  
>When the cop left, the Joker's laughter was just now quieting.<p>

Arkham. Wasn't that like….. A hell hole? Kinda. The thought that the Joker was headed there scared me. I probably would never see him again. I could feel my eyes starting to water.  
>"Don't worry, cupcake, we'll see each other soon enough," he said.<br>I looked over at him. He was standing now, grasping the bars with his hands, so hard, his knuckles were turning white.  
>I nodded and fought back the tears. "Okay." was all I managed to say.<br>"I'll get out, my love."  
>I nodded my head.<br>"Come here."  
>His voice was harsh and serious, but it was a tone I knew to be harmless, for it was only ever directed to me. I walked over to the bars, hating that I obeyed his every word and yet hung to it for dear life.<br>He licked his lips, "You. You think I am lying."  
>I looked down. How embarrassing was it to cry in front of people? <em>I am not gonna cry. Nope.<em>  
>"I've been there before, Emma."<br>This had my attention.  
>He smiled his wicked smile, "Haha. Oh. Oh yes! Yes, Emma! And it was so fun. Sure, they'll be more careful my second time around. But they'll still be so, so sorry they ever crossed paths with me."<br>He started to laugh again. Was he already having abandonment issues?  
>The door opened again and the cop from before stepped out of the room. I was about to turn around when the Joker grabbed the sleeves of my shirt and pulled me against the bars. My face crashed against it, and I could feel blood dripping from my forehead.<br>"I'll come get you, Emma! Trust me. I'm a man of my word."

The cop seen the commotion and ran over to my safety. But the Joker already let go of me. The cop looked at me like I was crazy. I was. And then he held out my papers to me.  
>"Are you sure you don't want any medical help of some kind?" he asked.<br>"No thank you, sir," I said. I carefully took my release forms from him. And then slipped by, grabbing a tissue on my way out. Dabbing at my forehead, I looked at the main door that was my freedom.  
>My papers were stamped.<br>Sympathy was given.  
>Blah, blah, blah.<br>A cab was summoned.  
>Directions to the hospital, to the airport.<br>I walked out of there a free woman.

~~~~ 1 year later~~~~

The moment I came home with Ally, I felt numb. How long did I have with my family until he found me? How long did I have to explain to Ally that I loved her? And Mom and Dad. And Miranda and Lindsey and Greg. That I even loved ole Suckerpuss, the annoying Siamese pest with nine lives she just has to own.

How much time would I have before he came for me? Before I felt whole again?

And now, I still feel the same way. I don't want to live here. Mom finally gave up the act, and now we all know she thinks I'm a freak. No, she isn't abusive or anything. But since I've been here, she's been nagging me, "When are you getting your own place?" , "Why won't you go back to Paris, to college?", "Why the HELL did you use my toothpaste?" And then some nights, she'd come into my room, crying, asking how this happened to her daughter. That she loved me, but she couldn't hold on to me anymore, knowing that I'd leave her again one day. And that was true.

Dad, however, knew things. He knew my past came back to haunt me. Unbeknownst to me, apparently I was a lot closer to 'that poor innocent boy' than I had thought. And Dad loved me more than ever. He always told me, stay as long as you need to and forget what your mother says. I did. It made me cry to think after everything, he still loved me so much. I would miss him the most.

Ally was my older sister and she acted the part. At first, she was my defender from Mom. Then, her, Greg, and the family moved back into town. And Ally took me in. But she acted so normal after that. And it irritated me. I couldn't live normal anymore. Sometimes I had nightmares. But, not the ones she would assume. Just ones I'd rather not share. Still, she acted so normal. And all the while, I was screaming inside.

It's February. And one year ago, the Joker promised me he would come get me. And I waited for that promise. My 26th birthday just passed in January. January 27th, actually. Anyway, it's been one year, to the date.

I sighed. I really missed a lot of things. I missed feeling completely vulnerable. Watching him walk away from me, because he didn't want to be. I missed what I could do to him. And I missed what he could to me. He loves that part of me that will always see the tiny bit of good in someone. Even if it seems nonexistent. And I loved that negative streak of his. Now that I've seen the worse of things, how ugly someone can really be, I can only love the wonderful things in my life _that much more_. Despite what he's done, that soft spot in him is for me. And me only. And that's what I love the most.

So I was waiting for him to keep his promise. Waiting for him to find me. That's why I wasn't entirely surprised this morning when I found his letter.

I had just woken up. My eyes were still fuzzy from sleep and I didn't feel like moving out of bed. But the urge to pee is always stronger. After I had calmed my bladder, I went into the kitchen to make coffee. I added that water and then the coffee and let it begin brewing. I took my seat at the kitchen table while it brewed. I was alone today. The girls were at school and Ally and Greg were at work. Nothing could make this day more boring.

There's a red envelope. I looked at it and my heart froze. This is like, a Halmark moment, or something. It could be anything, from anyone. But I knew better.

The usual stack of mail sat quite neatly in the center of the kitchen table. But this one, lone envelope was apart from the rest. I slowly reached across the table for it and then brought it in front of me. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust.

The envelope was simply addressed to Emma Thompson.  
>No return address.<br>As if there would be one.

I opened the envelope, not even trying to be careful, and quickly pulled out the note from inside.

It read:

_Hi, Emma.  
>I made you a promise that I'd be back. Well, hun, I am. I hope you don't mind, but I stalked your sister. Just had to know where they were hiding my prize. Now that I do, I know where to find you.<em>

Ready or Not, Emma.

Here.

I.

Come.

-Joker

The letter frightened me all over. But in the same way, I was equally ready. I realized that I had to leave, though. And right away. These memories, these events will always haunt me. But they don't need to haunt my family as well. Sipping on my coffee, I thought. Shower now, then think. I can't think right now!

So, as my plan went, I showered. I enjoyed the way showering made me feel so human. Shampoo, condition, wash, rinse. Steps I always went by since I was a little girl. The hot water helped clear my mind a bit, too.

After I got dressed, I reasoned with myself. I have to leave. Today. Now. Ally should know…. I looked at the red envelope and letter that was still on the kitchen table. I hurriedly shoved it into my purse.  
>I'll write her a letter.<p>

After a few minutes of tearing up paper and rewriting what I had to say, I finally finished. I decided my room would be the first place she'd check. So I laid it on my pillow. Cliché, I know. I reread it once again to myself.  
><em><br>Dear Ally,_

I have to go. I cannot let you suffer anymore. Even though you pretend not to, I know you do. And Mom, I can't hurt Mom anymore. It's best to break everything at once. I won't be back. I can't come back. I am ashamed and I am madly in love. I can't explain any better than this.

All my life I let everyone step on me. You know as well as I do that I was used. Amanda used me, my boyfriends used me, and even you did too sometimes. I was too stupid and too vulnerable to realize I deserved better. Right, I know what you're thinking. How am I getting better? I think that by giving some one a reason to live, it is enough to give me a reason to live as well. I won't change. People don't change. But as long as there is someone as good as me, I can help show the good in others.

Remember, Ally, without help, I wouldn't have been able to save you.  
>Without a worse outlook on life, I wouldn't have been able to see all the good things that were there.<br>No, I wasn't taught these things. I didn't learn them. The pain showed me this truth…  
>And without him, I am utterly alone. Without him, I will always feel like I am worth nothing to everyone.<br>When he's there, I make him feel.  
>You know how it feels, Ally.<br>You know what it's like to make someone feel.

Tell Mom, she was right. And that I love her.

Tell Dad, that without his help, I wouldn't be the formidable woman I am today. Tell him, I will miss him. That I hope he and Mom can solve their differences. That I love him.

Ally, I love you. And I know you'd come find me again like you did before, but trust me on this one, there is no need to. I will be fine. I will find my ways to let you know that I'm okay. Promise.

Good Bye,  
>Emma.<p>

It seemed enough to prove my point. But I couldn't just leave. I'd miss them so much…. But, I knew whom I missed the most.  
>I left immediately after.<br>I wondered the small town we lived next to.  
>Enjoying my total freedom for once, I just kept walking.<br>Then it got dark.  
>I heard footsteps behind me.<br>I heard his insane laughter.  
>I felt his arms wrap around me and I felt a blade press against my neck.<br>"My dear, beautiful Emma, I've missed you."  
>I sighed. I am totally crazy. Totally.<br>He laughed again, "Don't worry princess, daddy's taking you home. For good."  
>I turned around in his grasp and looked up at him.<br>"It took you long enough," I said.  
>The Joker smiled and grabbed the back of my head. He lifted his knife and put it on my lips.<br>"My Emma. All mine. She's missed me!" he shouted with excitement.  
>I laughed and looked away.<br>We really need to leave.  
>The Joker stopped laughing, but his smile never left his face.<br>Where were we? Just a road leading to nowhere. Completely dark and abandoned. This is where I brought myself? At least I wasn't alone. I could see familiar headlights coming our way. They darkened the Joker's face, so I could only see the outline of him.  
>The Joker laughed.<br>"Oh Emma, why so serious?"

That was eerie. The van came to a stop next to us. It was quiet and the area seemed most likely to be dead. No one was awake. Or no one cared enough to see what was going on. The Joker motioned for whoever was driving to turn off the headlights. By now, I could barely make out his face. His blade left my lips and he looked at me.  
>"Tell me, Emma, do you... loooooove me?" he asked. I laughed. What a ridiculous question.<br>"Do you?"  
>I nodded my head and smiled back, "Of course I do."<br>"Do. What?" he said. "Say it."  
>I let out a deep breath, "I love you. Of course I do. I love you more than anything in this world. No matter what you do and have done, I cannot help but love you. You are everything to me. I love you more than myself. I am completely and utterly insane!"<br>The Joker smiled, "Emma, I love you more than I love me."  
>I trusted him this time. I believed him.<br>"Do you promise, Emma?" he asked.  
>"Promise what?"<br>"No matter what I do or have done…."  
>"I'll always love you… ha, yes. I promise."<br>The Joker looked at me and my smiled faded. He leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped my hands around his neck, getting a little closer. Reluctantly, he pulled away. Then he put his blade back to the corner of my mouth.  
>"Good Emma, because I just hate it when you're unhappy."<br>Ouch, what was he doing…

Are you kidding me?

I could taste blood!  
>"Forever-together Emma. You and I."<br>"Forever," I promised.  
>He laughed, fiendishly then started humming a familiar tune I must've heard as a child. He wrapped his hand around my neck, caressing me. The knife was still stuck in my mouth.<br>"Emma…"  
>I closed my eyes.<br>_"Let's put a smile on that face."_


End file.
